Shame ll

January 21, 2012 § 18 Comments

One Immediate rang me to remind me that another one of my Immediates had had an affair a while back with Michael Fassbender!  OMG!

I vaguely remember said beloved Immediate telling me about a handsome – at the time, struggling – actor with whom she was involved but, boy, that’s a double first to put on her sexual CV.  Movie star of the moment and irredeemably handsome.

Speaking of sexual CVs: mine clocked up a few qualifications once, not so many double firsts, but a riot of O’levels, A’levels, degrees, you name it.

Now, not so much.

Now, if I was applying for a post with a powdery old Madam in a joint on the outskirts of a tinpot town with a dusty trio of plastic roses in a murky bowl in the hall beneath a red lamp and a curling poster of shining, discombobulated tits; with cupboards passing for “rooms”, swirling carpets throughout covered in stains of dubious provenance, walls textured with porridgy paper ragged-rolled with nicotine from many a yesteryear, gratuitously nylon sheets imbued with quantities of mingled sweat and more besides, a pervading smell of cheap taxi cab air freshner mixed with industrial quantities of stale spunk, and punters with such bellies as they hadn’t seen their cocks since 1972, you know, I am not so sure she would think my CV hailed her lucky day.

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§ 18 Responses to Shame ll

  • Lydia says:

    Well I don’t watch films so the fact someone might be a film star rather than a leading surgeon or politician does not mean I’d want to bed them. I assume film stars lead difficult lives and that they do not make good partners. I would not target them.

    Nice description of the bordello but you need to visualise yourself as a £1000 a night courtesan, escort extraordinairre of the kind Eliot Spitzer might have booked and by thinking so you can become so (n terms of looks, not in terms of profession although gosh far too many awful sexist women marry men for money and give sex and cleaning services in return for that and I cannot really much see the difference between that and prostitution except the latter is more honest).

  • fi says:

    Actually I bet you there WOULD be a niche market for middle aged women who could pass themselves off as wives and mothers. There seems to be a variety of needs that have to be met (TLovers earlier description for one example, those blokes who like to wear nappies etc ) and whenever I’ve seen or read anything about men who use prostitutes invariably they like to pretend they have some sort of relationship with the women and its not all about the money. I think this could be your niche – welcoming them at the door with a drink, taking their coats, asking them about their day etc before an energetic bout of sex and a casserole. This could be the way forward. (Tv – not really)

    • Lydia says:

      Reader’s wives.. and probably even most of us women prefer porn where the girl looks normal (I do anyway).

      • Lydia says:

        readers’ wives… gosh I never get my plural apostrophes wrong, bad me. I need to be spanked like KK by Jung in that new fillm

  • ToneDeafSinger says:

    Same here Plankton, actually even fewer and longer ago :-(

  • Plankton-o-phile says:

    Gosh, if your description of the environment within “pleasure palaces” we’re nailed at the door the red light economy would collapse overnight. Now I know why I have never ventured in, never have, never will, prefer my relationships free range rather than caged. You do make me chuckle over my morning tea, thank you Px

    PS off on a GS assignation later, wish me luck.

  • fi says:

    Last thing on tv I promise. Someone has posted this on PM site about tvs posts: “I once hopped on a subway car on a Saturday night. It was a relatively empty car, which is why I went for that one. There was a homeless man fiddling himself in full view of the few remaining passengers. Munson’s posts remind me a lot of him”
    An excellent description I feel.

  • Margaux says:

    Fi – love that idea ! Maybe it’s time for a new Cynthia Payne? What do you think, P?
    More shake ‘n’ vac than sweaty nylon sheets …we could all post you our cvs!

    • fi says:

      We’d need to practise saying things like “I bet your boss was impressed with your presentation” and “it sounds as if you’re the only one to have identified the real issue” and “you totally deserve a pay rise – you practically run the office. If it wasn’t for you the whole thing would collapse”. I’d have to work behind the scenes though as my smart mouth would drive them away. Maybe I could do the interior design and create the restful haven where someone could loosen his tie and kick his shoes off before they got led off?

      • Erin says:

        I think you may be on to something Fi!

      • Lydia says:

        I think it behoves both parties in a relationship to do exactly that. Flattery gets you everywhere. Tell men (or women) how good they are and you make much progress with them.

        Is that not how we all charm others in business, at home and in life?

  • EmGee says:

    You left out a crucial detail: What was the age difference between the Immediate and the actor at the time?

  • rosie says:

    If you take away the cocks and tits (those on public show at least) the description quite accurately sums up many of the dives I spent partying in – in my much younger days of course!

  • rosie says:

    oops, and the Madam.

  • RS says:

    I hope Mr. Fassbender didn’t do to your immediate what he was accused of by another girlfriend – breaking her nose, dragging her alongside a moving car… He was charged with assault although she dropped the charges eventually. But she also asked for a restraining order. Nothing’s been proven and it’s entirely possible the woman wasn’t being truthful, but it still makes me wary of admiring him.

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