Date with Slightly Younger Twinkle

November 27, 2012 § 46 Comments

From yesterday’s Times (though they cut the last but one word):-

Just been on a date with slightly Younger Twinkle.  Tra-la!

One of the last dates I went on – back in blinking August – was with a jaded man in his sixties, a philanderer, who told me before we sat down to dinner in some seedy joint, that he never wanted to get married again.  We had several dates, and I still don’t know why.  I didn’t fancy him in the first place but reckoned – wrongly – that a date was better than no date.

Since my separation, I have had my fair share of prospects: Philanderers, Smidgens, Poppy Seeds, Snowmen, Long Shots, you name it.  A veritable Odeon-size packet of licorice allsorts.  But every one of them, to a man, weighed down with excess baggage: in love with their dead wives; a-sexual; entrenched loners; craggy millionaires; sex-addicted divorcees enjoying a richesse of 25-35 year olds and manifestly uninterested in me.  Even the thirty-five year old beauty had baggage of sorts because he turned out to be weird and mixed-message-y, or possibly with a secret girlfriend in tow, or gay.  I never did discover.  And now I don’t care because the current Younger Twinkle has none of this baggage.  The only disadvantage he has is that he is a tad younger than me, but that disadvantage is also a whopping great advantage, obviously.

People have said, Have Fun.  And I am having Fun but of course it is not quite as simple as that if you have been a Plankton for as long as I have.  The Fun is in a context of years of solitude and loneliness and disappointments so, maddeningly, it just does take on a certain significance, more than it should, especially because cool is so far from my default setting.  We went to the theatre together and he held my hand throughout and stole sweet glances at me in the dark.  Ha!  When was the last time, you ask yourself…?

And then your head, if remotely like mine, rather too girly and reflective, starts flooding with existential bollocks.  You start to ponder the past, and dammit, even your own mortality.  And stuff about your youth, his youth, and regrets that the two didn’t coincide.  You think: is it possible to embark on a relationship that, necessarily, cannot last?  You feel the agony perhaps rather more than the ecstasy, and then kick yourself for failing to “live in the moment”.

Let go for Christ’s sake, you tell yourself, and boy, you do try.  It was a great date and, at the end of the evening, there was even a kiss.

Hard not to feel excited.

The most hard-won kiss in the history of the fucking universe.

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§ 46 Responses to Date with Slightly Younger Twinkle

  • Ms. Plankton, sometimes you tell us that you are hoping to enter into a relationship with a man whom you determine to be “age appropriate,” and you’ve also recently told us that you feel that you could perhaps benefit from taking a few pages from Ms. Gallop’s book, and she’s into guys who are one third of her own age….

    Once again, to quote from Nike, “just __ __ !!” (I took the advertising slogan from the shoes company here, but the Greek godess of victory would probably tell you the same thing…)

  • Oh, and Fi- BELCH !!!

    Grab me another cold one, will ya hun?

  • Vaso says:

    I just recently joined this site and can i say … i love it and Ms Plankton you bring a nice warm smile to my face! The word “plankton” feels akin to how things are with me too! Although all my friends say at 46 your life is just starting … who are they kidding (especially hearing it from some of my younger aquaintances). Anyway i’m glad you went on a date with Mr Younger than me … it will boost your confidence whether it lasts or not.

    • The Plankton says:

      Welcome to the site, Vaso, and thank you for commenting. I am delighted you are enjoying it. As for the younger man: whatever happens, (and I am under no illusions!) you are right, it is a boost to the confidence for sure. Pxx

  • James B says:

    What a lovely, well-written piece. Lovely. The only things that spoils it for me is your last post which could imply that all has not gone so well since. I hope I am wrong as you undoubtedly deserve some uncomplicated happiness (relationship-wise) for a while.

    • The Plankton says:

      James B, I love you! Thank you, not least for saying I deserve some uncomplicated happiness. It has been shit for so many years; something nice happened, briefly; and now I am not quite so sure. We shall see. It’s been quite a story, which I shall tell, slowly but surely. Just in the process of seeing how things pan out over the next week or two, before I leap in there with all my thoughts for the coming days! pxx

  • Barry Twyman says:

    You have touched my heart P . Could this be your HAPPY Christmas …I do hope so . Eloquently written with amazing self control xx

  • SteveH says:

    What James B said !

  • Fi says:

    Scott – Please stop dragging me into your insane comments. Thanks.

  • MissBates says:

    Dare I say that this sounds like a glimmer of hope? Although I fear that yesterday’s Times column as set forth in your above post was written weeks ago, and that your bleak (“effing shit”) mood from this weekend doesn’t bode well. Anxiously awaiting the next installment.

  • Kate says:

    Like James, I wish you all the best.

    Although I am aware of the peril of saying that, or being too enthusiastic and cheer-leaderly, as you are writing retrospectively, and (I hope) this is not a novel but real life.

    Oh, wouldn’t it be lovely if RL were like novels. Although Anita Brookner tried that … if you want true Plankton despair try “Look at Me.”

  • malcolm says:

    Good Lord, a pleasant date, a hard won kiss and now Miss P is spreading the love around. I had read somewhere that kissing releases some sort of chemicals in one’s body that makes one happier. It might be a magic Christmas in 2012 – one can always hope. :-)

  • EmGee says:

    This is a great bit of news, and I am happy for you! But please let us know if this is old news, and things have changed. I like to think that your bad moods have had more to do with things other than SYT (slightly Younger Twinkle).

    Why oh why, as you pointed out, do our minds begin to manufacture these ‘second thoughts’, and erode all the good feelings we should be having?

  • Jo says:

    Dear P. Fun. Long overdue…..
    I know full well how our over reaching, fertile uncontrollable minds can bring about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Dangerous indeed.
    Try to be ruthless with that mind. Try to do that ‘live in the present’ stuff. It’s difficult but please try to find a way to enjoy it for what/where it is at present. That’s what I’ve done and it’s been an eye opener I can tell you.
    As I said. It’s bloody tough but this is a welcome development and bonus in your life. None of us know what will happen with anything along our path. But please don’t allow future worries or the past to sabotage it.
    Be glad to be experiencing this. Just as it is at present…
    xx

  • maria says:

    This is great P. Looking forward for new developments.

  • Jo says:

    And no need to be ‘cool’. Sod it.

  • paolo says:

    You wrote: “You start to ponder the past, and dammit, even your own mortality. And stuff about your youth, his youth, and regrets that the two didn’t coincide. You think: is it possible to embark on a relationship that, necessarily, cannot last? You feel the agony perhaps rather more than the ecstasy, and then kick yourself for failing to ‘live in the moment’.”

    I’ve been exactly where you are now. You expressed it beautifully. It can be bitter, and, yes, it can be sweet.

  • py says:

    If people want a YouTube link this week which should get the juices flowing, have a look at :

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pipGWQmerEQ&feature=youtu.be

    If you haven’t seen this already, it is Paul Larsen blowing away the world sailing speed record in the Vestas Sailrocket in Namibia last week – clocking an average speed in excess of 65knots over the half kilometre run ie c 75 mph.

    Ten years of effort, a wonderful bit of engineering and (largely) British based design/research.

    And even if you ‘ just don’t get it’ you can always admire the flamingos.

    • fi says:

      PY – although I’d love to be able to appreciate this, I can’t.
      the beach was nice though ;)

      • PY says:

        Mankind loves a good bit if engineering . The Great Pyramids , Eiffel Tower , Millenium Wheel – even the Forth Rail Bridge . It reaffirms Homo sapiens’ belief that we are one rung further up the evolutionary ladder than the apes.

        Similarly , we are probably the only animal species to regularly risk life and limb just for the hell of it . In that neither the acts of securing a mate nor food gathering are involved. For example , jumping from the edge of space , diving to the bottom of the Marianas Trench , climbing Everest .

        Now, if mankind can successfuly combine the two , isn’t that a wonderful , life enhancing celebration of the human spirit ?

        Fi , I would most probably bore you trying to explain the technological advances that have been made by Larsen and his team in pushing a boat to sail 2.5 times the true wind speed . How they have had to advance the human race’s knowledge of fluids , cavitation theory, hydrofoil design and composite fibre engineering. To defy gravity and resistance in order to annihilate a record that most thought impossible to substantially break.

        In a literary context, we are talking of a ‘Jonthan Livingstone Seagull ‘ moment – a refusal to conform and a-pushing of the limits to take a past-time to a higher plane of existence and human understanding .

        But, hey, “the beach was nice” – and that appreciation alone suggests that your soul still has a beat .

        X

  • T Lover says:

    I see that, according to the BBC, Germany is tightening its bestiality law.

    This is part of the report on the BBC news webpage:

    “But Michael Kiok, the chairman of the pressure group Zoophile Engagement for Tolerance and Information (Zeta), said he was going to take legal action to fight the proposed changes.

    “It is unthinkable that any sexual act with an animal is punished without proof that the animal has come to any harm,” he said, adding that animals are capable of showing what they do, or do not, want to do.

    “We see animals as partners and not as a means of gratification. We don’t force them to do anything. C” Mr Kiok claimed.”

    What a giggle: “But Michael Kiok, the chairman of the pressure group Zoophile Engagement for Tolerance and Information (Zeta), said he was going to take legal action to fight the proposed changes.

    “It is unthinkable that any sexual act with an animal is punished without proof that the animal has come to any harm,” he said, adding that animals are capable of showing what they do, or do not, want to do.
    “We see animals as partners and not as a means of gratification. We don’t force them to do anything. Animals are much easier to understand than women,” Mr Kiok claimed.

    What a giggle. “Animals are much easier to understand than women,” how very true Mr Kiok.

    • fi says:

      “Animals are much easier to understand than women,” how very true Mr Kiok.”
      Only because they don’t answer you back or make any demands on you Mr T :)

    • malcolm says:

      “It is unthinkable that any sexual act with an animal is punished without proof that the animal has come to any harm,”

      To me, it is unthinkable that any sexual act with an animal would occur in the first place.

      • T Lover says:

        Someone brighter than me will remember his name but I think it was Green – the man who wrote the “The Art of Coarse [eg Rugby] books.

        In his autobiography (No-one hurt in small earthquake?) he recounts how, as a junior reporter he was sent to cover the courts. Occasionally, one of these cases would crop up.

        Green claimed that they always ran along the same lines. Policeman hears eerie noise in dark, goes to investigate to find defendant getting friendly with a sheep/horse/dog whatever. He claimed that the animal was inevitably put down …. in case it got a taste for it…

        According to the BBC bestiality was legalised by the Germans in 1969. I wonder how long it will be before we follow. There was some truth in what Fi said about not answering back or making demands and looking round the ignorant obese society we are becoming – just thinking aloud.

      • fi says:

        But I was joking.

      • T Lover says:

        Many a true word said in jest dearest Fiona.

        I paid Glasgow a flying visit last week. My feet were on Glaswegian soil for ten minutes (absolute max) before I was back in the car and off. I admit it was not the centre, it was Govan but what a depressing place.

    • maria says:

      That’s just sick!

      • T Lover says:

        Well, you women are always (claiming) you kiss frogs…..

      • T Lover says:

        Oh and here’s something else.

        My internet dating career is over but I still get “Top Matches” because I have not deleted – just hidden – my profile.

        I got half a dozen today including one (woman) with the moniker “Lovesanimals” so there you are, it’s not just blokes it’s women too!

        And whilst I remember another something else. I went to a concert on Sunday. I bought a ticket because I thought they were swingers but when I got there realised the ticket actually said “Singers”.

        There was this soprano. She was six feet if she was an inch. Guessing 25 stones. I was with friends in the boozer afterwards when this soprano came in with her husband. He was a skinny midget like me.

        So Fiona stop being heightist, broaden your horizons. Little blokes are much better up a ladder when that skylight needs a repair.

  • T Lover says:

    And what a mess, copying went wrong…

  • Scott Benowitz says:

    I’m NOT a writer, and I don’t have anything close to the skill with the English language that Ms. Plankton does, otherwise I’d set up my own blogsite…. themed: Let’s see if Scott can do it again at least once before I turn 50 in May of 2022… …. however with my command of our language (or at least the American version of it), my blogsite would be notably uninteresting, nobody would want to read it, and so I think it would perhaps be for the best if I skip it … ….

    entry # 160 …. ‘nother week went past…. again, still getting plenty of phone numbers and email addresses from women, zero (0) of whom are ever going to write back to me …. ….. AGAIN ….

  • I’ve been wearing my new jellyfish t-shirt… My tentacles are not reeling any attractive babes, at least not yet … : (

  • PERVERTS !!! I said “TENTACLES”…. Get your minds out of the sewers here !!!

    • zoe says:

      I hesitate to encourage Scott in any of his off-colour ramblings. I also confess in advance that this may be somewhat inappropriate for the blog, although it chimes with some of the themes introduced this week. I do a film group with friends – which is a bit like a book group except we watch a DVD and discuss the film. This week’s film was Possession with Isabelle Adjani and Sam Neill, which has a memorable scene: http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=112027

      • zoe says:

        Having just looked at this clip again, I can see that, out of context, it might be misleading. This is not a horror scene in which Adjani is a victim. It’s a woman who cannot find satisfaction in either the arms of her husband or those of her lover. It takes the monster octopus to (“almost”) satisfy her, although the prospects for the union are no doubt limited – even more so perhaps than those for P and YT. It was banned in the UK. Adjani won the best actress at Cannes for it. All a bit off-piste, I know: I blame PY and TLover (and Scott).

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