July 3, 2011 § 27 Comments
There are no men.
Someone enlighten me.
My inexpert theories are just theories.
There are equal numbers of men and women. Fact.
There are more gay men than there are gay women? OK, so that might account for a small proportion of the disparity in numbers.
Logic dictates that there are no fewer married men than there are married women. Plenty of MMHs (Married Men Hunting), but they don’t count. I am talking about available men. While some women are not bothered if a man is married, I am. Big time. To me, married men are the third gender. In a sense, not really men at all. I love the company of many of them but I don’t fancy them, same way as I don’t fancy women, or praying mantises.
A man can pick from a wider pool of women: his age and under, by several decades. I have a friend who is late thirties and lives with and has children by a man in his mid sixties. She is one of the youngest girlfriends he has had but by no means the only one of her age. He is paunchy and has grey chest hair and is not especially rich. He is married – but has been separated from his wife for twenty years; won’t divorce her. Already has a couple of tricky teenage daughters. He is neurotic and critical and fussy. My friend loves him, after a fashion. They argue a lot and she is not particularly happy yet is counting herself lucky. He plucked her out of a richesse of willing women. All circling him like vultures, they were, before my friend “got” him. She is seen as the “lucky” one for being with him whereas I think he should thank his lucky stars that he is with someone so wonderful and special. What the fuck was that about? All these women from whom an inadequate had the pick of a great bunch?
Who else is there after the gay men, married men and inadequate men?
Widowers are still in love with their wives and can never replace her. I want to be irreplaceable, not the less-than-first-wife second wife. Novels have been written about her misery.
Everybody knows one single man. Only one, mind. And, whisper it, SFAR (Single For A Reason). Namely, insane. Or, variously, OCD, commitment-phobic, addicted to sex, drugs, alcohol (delete where applicable, or not as the case may be). Baboon-arse ugly. Boring. Homeless. Thick. Teenage. All-round wanker for whom only a woman who combines the physical attributes of Brigitte Bardot and Keira Knightley as well as being a female Dorian Gray will do.
Divorced men fall into three categories:
1). Married men who have been left are like widowers, still in love with their wives. Broken men. If they want sex at all they want it not as a commitment but as a Wank Plus.
2). Making up for lost time (ie. the married years) and fucking anything (under thirty) that moves.
3). The majority. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man never leaves his wife if he hasn’t already got another younger woman whom he is regularly and gloriously screwing. I have NEVER heard or read about or even contemplated the notion of a man leaving his wife for an older woman. Nor have you. It has never happened in the history of the world.
As I say. There are no men.