Marion’s Stories

July 11, 2011 § 7 Comments

The other night I saw Marion who is a friend of some friends, and she sat me down on a white sofa to regale me with amusing stories of suddenly-available men finding themselves with a new woman barely before realising they had lost the old one!  Such, such fun I had hearing all these heartening anecdotes from this married-with-five-children-lady-of-means.  What a card!  And one with such delightful sensitivity shown to a divorcee without a man in a countrywide radius!

The stories were as follows:-

1).  Great friend of Marion’s, (who I happen to know is) a posh, rich, fat, stupid man who boastfully tells hilarious stories about episodes in his past when he enjoyed mooning, had a lovely wife and children. The wife dies.  Within six weeks, he has hooked up with a new girlfriend, Jo (gorgeous, blond; in a caring profession).  Marion says his children can’t stand Jo and it is Jo’s stupid fault, she should have waited till their mother was a little colder in her grave.  I am sorry, I said, but shouldn’t HE have been the one to have waited?  It was after all his wife who had died, not Jo’s.  “Oh,” Marion simpered and giggled, “but you know what men are like!”  As if that exonerated him from blame.  I pointed out that had Jo waited decorously, as Marion was dictating, then some other woman would have jumped in there before her.  “No, maybe you are right,” she reluctantly agreed.  “It is true that three days after his wife died, we were on a fashionable beach.  He was sweating like a pig, his face was the colour of a Victoria plum, and no fewer than three women who only knew him vaguely but knew about his wife, approached him and said, ‘Oh, poor, darling Ru-upert, how ARE you?”

2.)  Marion’s husband’s best friend was left by his wife.  Marion’s immediate thought was, “I must introduce him to [her divorced friend] Gillian.  But, no, I must give the poor man a month or so.  Well, next time he came to dinner, all of a few days into his new-found status, he brought a companion.  My delicate hesitation was too delicate for Gillian.  He was already taken!”

3.)  Marion is giving a dinner party and has asked her friend June.  June rings on the day.  “Can I bring a friend called Ben?  Poor man, his wife and children were killed a month ago in an accident.”  Of course he could come, said Marion.  It never even crossed her mind that June and Ben were an item, but the way they carried on that evening, with their PDAs (public displays of affection) and their eyes only for each other, it was blindingly obvious how she had been ridiculously naive.  The couple married a few months later.  Oh, and a few years after that, divorced.

Marion’s stories make me want to slit my wrists.

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§ 7 Responses to Marion’s Stories

  • plumgrape says:

    Just fantastic! My favourite author Ann Rule (I have read 23 of her books) is also able to precisely capture true sentiment after sentiment as you have also caught: “available men finding themselves with a new woman barely before realising they had lost the old one!” The relationships can be alive and death unintended. Precision and Succinct are good words for your writing.Well done.

  • Vivien Crew says:

    Sometimes a man with children whose wife has died is desperate to find someone to help with the children – he may have a responsible full-time job and yet not enough money to fund an pair or boarding school. That happened with my father when my mother died – he had two children aged 4 and 5 (I was older). He married again a year after she died, to a woman he got on with in a way but who none of his children liked at all. I don’t know how he could have coped on his own. Yes, it was difficult for his new wife to look after someone else’s children, but she was able to give up work, which she disliked, and have everything paid for. Even nowadays men with children often have the basic responsibility of the mortgage, council tax, tax, the car, insurance, food, holidays, furniture etc. Of course women have to gestate and give birth to children, which takes enormous energy. But I don’t think men should be denigrated too much.

  • Jane says:

    @Vivien – if a woman was suddenly widowed, and had a full time job (it does happen!) she would be castigated for marrying again very fast in order to find someone to look after her children. I’m sorry to hear about your father but it sounds as though he remarried in order to get a free housekeeper and nanny.

  • Julie says:

    @Vivien Crew:
    You wrote: ” Of course women have to gestate and give birth to children, which takes enormous energy. But I don’t think men should be denigrated too much.”
    Oh my god! Yours is a voice from the past… are you actually a Victorian ghost using the internet?
    Do women really have to (“have to”? why not “must”, at that rate?) “gestate” (are you a veterinarian, then?) and “give birth” ? You seem never to have heard of contraception – not to mention abortion. I’ve got news for you: they’re now legal in most Western countries.

    And why shouldn’t such men be blamed? After all, your father belonged to an older generation. Why shouldn’t such things change? Why shouldn’t a father be able to cope just as a mother is “naturally” assumed to be? To borrow from your range of vocabulary, it takes to people to reproduce… Plus, nowadays, the social situation had undergone huge transformations as well: it takes two people to nurture and, most often, nourish a child. Do you realize most mothers work outside their homes, just like most fathers?
    Although one has to acknowledge that the fact they still do most of the housework can easlily be misleading…

  • Story No.l. Poor Jo, she is now going to have to live with the image of the dead wife, who when deceased, always assumes sainthood.. Steer
    clear of Widowers, you will always have the dead wife to compete with.
    Divorcees, generally speaking have ususally been divorced for a reason, but at least you’ve only got the bitch to contend with.
    Also steer clear of Marian seems a good idea to me.

  • Story No.l. Poor Jo, she is now going to have to live with the image of the dead wife, who when deceased, always assumes sainthood.. Steer
    clear of Widowers, you will always have the dead wife to compete with.
    Divorcees, generally speaking have ususally been divorced for a reason, but at least you’ve only got the bitch to contend with.
    Also steer clear of Marian seems a good idea to me.

    Story 2 Not worth commenting on, just to re iterate, steer clear of Marian.

    Story No.3 After trauma, surprisingly enough, often sex seems the answer.. Anyone who finds it necessary to bill and coo in front of other people at a dinner, is just trying to make you puke. Sex is always good for the first 6 months, next 6 months it can’t go on being so hot (unless, for some strange reason it’s illicit sex, and that’s probably keeps because it’s all fantasy) 6 months later, it’s either finished in misery or marriage, followed by divorce. Why can’t people learn to be alone.? You don’t have to be lonely. There is so much to do,why have women got this idea in their heads that they need a male partner to cling on to, someone who is going to solve all their problems. No one tells you what happened 20 years after Cinderella and the Prince linked up.
    Stop looking around for some bloke to make everything alright ladies.
    They fall into 7categories, Boring, beaters upers, alcoholics,
    philanderers, gamblers, ‘meanies’, and liars, and most of them share the ‘arch
    controller’ label. They are very nice to go out with now and again, perhaps even sleep with. There are loads of them on the various
    dating sites, most of them too awful to comtemplate, but if you are
    really desperate to have one of your own (although it can never be guaranteed) get on line. Keep away from dinner parties given by the likes of the ‘Marian’s’ of this world. They just want to show you what they think you’re missing, and how very lucky and happy they are. It’s not
    true, they are no more happier than the programmed Stepford Wives.

  • Claire says:

    What I cannot understand is why women still see themselves valued only in relation to a man. Clearly any feminist ideals that I was brought up with have disappeared. Reading through all the above I had a mother who died when I was 14 my father was beseiged by women who suddenly wanted to marry him, however, my brothers and I managed to keep them all away. Then when were older and left home he did find someone to marry (never a problem for men see above) and for him I was glad. I now find myself at 55 divorced now for 7 years, with a child off to university and I am so happy being single. I don’t define myself by a man I define myself by my intellectect, my friends, my family. I still work in an industry that is cruel to women and I am one of only 4% of women over the age of 50 still working in this industry but no man is going to push me out. I do a sport called Endurance, which is long distance horse racing, from which I have lots of friends, I travel, I start businesses and if no one will invite me to dinner I simply invite them to my table. I bought myself a dining table that seats 10 comfortable and 12 at a push and I never have trouble filling it. If people don’t want to invite me back because I don’t have partner that’s their problem not mine. My mother died at 42 and did not achieve all she wanted nothing will stop me doing what I want to do. I don’t think I even have the space for a man in my life but I don’t know one who can keep up with me. So please all you wonderful, women out there stop defining yourselves by men, start living your own lives, remember there may not be a lot of it left.

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