It’s Soooo Difficult Being Married

July 30, 2011 § 19 Comments

The other day a friend of whom I am exceeding fond and who has many qualities but tact is not amongst them, was complaining about her husband. They have been together for a very long time and he, though far from being a saint, puts up with all her (considerable) nonsense with a humour and love that is admirable.

“God, darling,” she said, “it’s soooo difficult being married and having a husband.”

I looked at her in disbelief.

“I am sure it is,” I hissed back peevishly, “but just you try NOT being!”

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§ 19 Responses to It’s Soooo Difficult Being Married

  • Buster says:

    I generally believe that the most important thing in a relationship, or even possibly getting into one, is ‘attitude’. Sadly the attitude of most of the population is quite twisted. Most men & women have some real issues that society, far from dealing with, actually fosters. I think the most important issue is ‘responsibility’. Taking personal responsibility from people & forcing it onto others in a society has corrupted peoples values to the point that we have little respect for anyone, being self serving & shallow.
    The attitude towards members of the opposite sex is just part of this problem. There is so much disrepect shown towards eachother. So litle love. Why do we expect to be treated better than we treat others. Do we really think we deserve to be?
    Stop the world, I want to get off!!

    • AnonW says:

      She could always try widowhood. I'[ve been a widow(er) for nearly three years now. It is bleak and lonely at times, but it is a siblinghood where everyone sticks together.

  • Lydia says:

    1. It’s absolutely wonderful to be single after an unhappyhmarriage. I feel so lucky every day.
    2. There is no shortage of lovely single men at all, certainly not in London.
    3. On the point above, I agree that attitude matters. I don’t like to see people criticising their spouse. We should treat others as we want toi be treated. it’s a central tenet of Christianity, Judaism and most other faiths.
    4. Far too many people married or single have the grass is always greener syndrome. If instead they looked around and thought how lucky they are to have what they have every day could be wonderful.

  • Sarah Hague says:

    I agree, Lydia, I rejoice every day that I’m not married any more. Being married sucked. Being single is brilliant – the independence, the lack of stress, the having no one to tolerate or negotiate with. Bloody fantastic it is. Freedom, in a word.

    Mind you, I do have a man who feels exactly the same way I do about marriage (or even living together), so we are a living apart together couple. It’s the best of both worlds.

  • toyman says:

    Oh that Pierre………

    Remember the Lake
    Pierre threw wine on your face
    Then licked it off your lips saying
    I am Pierre the fighter pilot
    When I eat red meat, I drink red wine

    Then he gently opened your blouse
    Splashed wine over your chest saying
    I am Pierre the fighter Pilot
    When I eat white meat, I drink white wine………

    Then he pulled down your pants
    Soaked you with Brandy and sets your tush on fire……….
    You jumped in the lake and shouted, what did you do that for?
    He says loudly……..
    I am Pierre the fighter pilot
    When I go down………….

    I GO DOWN IN FLAMES!

    Fast forward ten years and you have divorced Pierre and now say you are glad to get rid of him and be single again…….
    Do we not remember the times he made us laugh, the times he took us out, the times he seemed like the best man in the world, the man to have our kids with.

    People change, it’s not a crime and I am divorced, but my xwife gave me four good children and I enjoyed all the time we spent together, even the fights. We grew in different directions and our marriage ended in divorce; but I will never say anything bad about her for at one time, she was my everything!

  • stormwind says:

    I do so agree with the “grass is always greener” bit, Lydia! Let’s face it – just being alive is tough, and although I’ve never been married myself, I’ve seen enough marriages, successful and not, among my friends and colleagues to realize that it certainly isn’t the panacea for all ills. A good and happy marriage is certainly something to be treasured – but now many are that lucky? How many are even blessed with a partner (short or long term) who they are really happy with? Thre’s so much pressure in our society to be half of a couple that we start to believe that that is the answer to everything. I think we all need to learn to appreciate what we have in the here and now, single or coupled.

    btw can you please send some of those lovely single men over to Vienna – especially mid 40s to late 50s age bracket, interested in women who are their contemporaries? I have a large supply of intelligent, attractive, funny, loving, giving women who are actually fine on their own, but would very much enjoy some decent male company if it could be found! 😉

    • Buster says:

      I’ve the sneaky suspicion there are plenty of normal guys right under your noses there, as there are everywhere else too.
      You just need be realistic and know where to meet them.
      I still believe the internet is about the best medium for meeting people, since there’s not a lot of other ways left these days.

  • Nina says:

    Lydia WHERE are all these lovely, single men in London you speak of????!!!!!!!!!

  • stormwind says:

    We’re not looking for the normal ones, Buster – we’re looking for the lovely, single ones!

  • toyman says:

    Not Normal Ones!

    Lovely…….Single

    In the real world it is very very difficult to find all that in one man…………

    My xwife told me recently that I am a good father and a fun man; but I made a nightmare of a husband…………..

    A joke we passed around a long time ago goes like this:

    A woman needs a tiger in her bed……..

    A donkey in her house for the chores………

    And a jackass for a husband to pay for it all………….

    I counted three ladies!

  • stormwind says:

    Well, why not, toyman? I know lots of lovely, single and extraordinary women – surely there must be some lovely, single and extraordinary men on the planet? That doesn’t mean they have to be perfect in every sphere of life – just that they have an interesting outlook, are fun to be around and aren’t mad axe murderers.

    For myself, can’t say I’d really like a husband – too much paperwork and faff. A fun partner to share the ups and downs, and have a giggle with in the middle of the night would be cool, though!

  • toyman says:

    Storm

    You have passed to the next round!

    Join up on a dating site, you will find what you seek………………….

    Very few axe murderers, trust me on that!

  • Susan says:

    Yes, it actually requires much love, caring and thoughtfulness from each person towards the other – this it seems, is sadly beyond many people these days.

    I think all this talk of ” decent male company”, “good men” blah blah blah is the root of the problem. What does decent male company mean anyway? Sounds to me like we are all a bit too fussy to find love – my fella smokes, he farts alot, he eats disgusting food at times and he bores me to tears sometimes talking about his interests, but he has impeccable personal hygiene, he’s funny, loving, kind, mostly thoughtful is interested in my world and loves me the way I am. Is he decent male company – yes! Many women might say no – but my decent male company says things like ” you make my heart bigger” – I don’t think it gets anymore decent than that.

  • toyman says:

    Three cheers for Susan……………………….

    You are a real woman………………

    Compared to women, men are really pigs; but cute fuzzy pigs that scrub up well ………………

  • Sandra says:

    What a one sided view of the world you do have. Rather be single than unhappily married. To asume all married’s are happy is ridiculous. I would go so far as to say most are unhappy – I have no examples myself of marriages that I envy. I think it is right to uphold standards – why be with the wrong person, putting up with more that is hideous than not if you don’t have to? Susan sounds like she likes her relationship because he shows an interest in her but in return she finds that he ‘bores me to tears’. Well! No thank you.

  • Jacqueline says:

    Try not being married? Fine! I recently lived with someone for a year – what a nightmare! I became a drudge, picking up his mess continually and chasing him to for chores and bill money. God how I envied single people living alone in those last few months!

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