The Smidgen on the Horizon

August 6, 2011 § 20 Comments

Of course, on holiday (I am not abroad and it has been thunder and lightening and rain), there has been a certain amount of time for reflection, and today’s little nugget of reflection comprises this: still not a peep from the Smidgen on the Horizon (cf. Men’s Mixed Messages).

What a surprise.

§ 20 Responses to The Smidgen on the Horizon

  • Lydia says:

    If someone wants someone else whatever their gender they tend to communicate.
    If you want a man to communicate write him something really sexy. That tends to work.


    The Smidgen is either not interested or playing some silly power game. When a man is interested he will not be able to help himself but to call you. It might be that he is simply too busy or caught up in something but simple good manners should dictate that he calls and says-Hey I am a bit busy/caught up in something but so perhaps next week when things are less busy. He should a firm commitment to meet up with you and do something. Of course you could call him-nothing wrong with that one and then once you have done that park it.

  • asjbendall. says:

    Trust you have enjoyed the lightening, just think if the sun was out I would need to get some factor on you to protect your sensitive skin. Today I have held the 2012 torch, and been photographed with it, the Olympics are coming! Some times life can be a real tease, and we need to take from it those parts we individually desire and want. None of us as followers of your Plankton can tell or advise you what to do Re: Mens Mixed Messages, those are choices for you alone, however we all continue to support you even though you do not reply to us, I / We, therefore share your dissapointment! in no mail. Miss Bates are you on holiday? Bambi, your observations continue to tease. Stormwind, just continue as you are. Need to start preparing my kit for next adventure, tent, doss bag, bergen, day bag, rat packs, maps, surely such an adventure would attract you Plankton, or does the rain and insects put you off! Once best mans duties complete I am off for some well earned rest and exploration.

  • Lydia says:

    Yes, and without being a stalker you can chase people. It never bothers me to do it. Sometimes they just had accidentally deleted and email or they were distracted with something else.

    Sometimes people move at different paces and even if you’re very keen early on he might become so later.

  • Sarah Hague says:

    If it’s bugging you, why don’t you send him a text message? That doesn’t count as calling per se so shouldn’t count as ‘things one doesn’t do’.

    Of course, if you left it that he would call you and he hasn’t either he’s fallen off the face of the earth or he’s found someone else, which amounts to the same thing.

    I agree with Rory that when a man is in pursuit he will call/email/text. He might leave it a few days so as not to appear desperate but he’ll be in contact within a short time.

  • Lydia says:

    I always have or can find a lot of men and I’m in my 40s. One reason is I don’t play any games at all. if I want someone I reply or text straight away. i say what I think. People want to be wanted. If I’m not wanted then I go but I wouldn’t worry about contacting him again particularly if it’s with something sexy.

    • T. Lover. says:

      “I always have or can find a lot of men and I’m in my 40s” I wonder why WC Fields said never trust a woman behind your back even if she’s there to scratch it. I bet you are a good catch. I’d love to be hitched to you. Surprised men are cynical? I bet you are.

      • Lydia says:

        I didn’t quite follow that. I don’t find most men are cynical. I’m certainly not. Life is good and I’m happy and healthy.

  • catherine says:

    Your smidgen sounds like a smidgen.

    • T. Lover. says:

      Yes madam.

      And you are a typical smug airhead of the type that inhabits virtual the world internet dating in legions.

      To make a contact or continue is a subjective decision.

      Why, without knowing the reason do you feel free to deride someone, someone you have never met? Could it be that this individual has been hurt by a Lydia? Been given the sexual come on and dumped and hurt and doesn’t want to be put throught it again?

      • Lydia says:

        I hope I never have done that. I think I’m blatantly clear in a way a lot of women aren’t. If I really want to see someone and like him a lot I say so.

        There was a very funny email chain that went viral a few years ago. It was a girl who wanted her man to contact her. It was the sequence of her emails over a 2 week period when he was only on holiday without his phone. It started with usual emails from her to him and then no reply from him and hers get more and more hysterical – it’s a totally one sided exchange and she ends up saying after day 10 something like – right that ‘s it the relationship is off.

        Sometimes it’s just that someone is buy or lost your email or genuinely isn’t sure or choosing between several people. It’s often all about the timing. Most of us end up marrying someone just because we and they happen to be in the right place to marry at that time and it could as easily have been someone else.

  • Joe Ehrlich says:

    Would anyone be ever “good enough”? I am beginning that there might be some walls involved.

    • Lydia says:

      That’s always an issue. Some people (male and female) internally although not admitting it may not want anyone so they come up with the 100 requirements they need satisfiying before someone will do. However every man I’ve ever rejected has said I’ll nevr find anyone and standards are too high and that is often just not true. It’s because he’s 20 stone or a midget or no job or fairly i mportant basic things. The test should be has that person ever had enduring loving long relationships or do they not really have the capacity to form long term good relationships and are virtually always single.

      • t lover says:

        Yes dear.

        I have made some sort of contact with maybe 30 women via the internet. I have met two.

        Of the 30 I would say only four or five had manners ie were straight about not wanting to continue even if they were diplomatic about the reason. The rest were, shall we say, ignorant.

        When I started, it – the way women behaved – was very hurtful. Now with my new understanding of the female mind (a sad admission given my age), tremendous entertainment even if counterproductive entertainment because one thing a woman can’t take is being laughed at.

        I must be a masochist or at least a slow learner. The ‘boys’ on Friday night in the pub fall about in hysterics.

        Example one: my first assignation. 450 mile round trip. Photograph? Could not have been the same person, she admitted a little touching up by a professional photographer, sorry, badly put but I would not have been surprised if both interpretations were true. Age? Had had the Black and Decker on the mileometer and wound it back five years. Children? Yes, but not at home. Ho ho to that one. Four at home. Drink? Occasionally. In real life, alcoholic. No doubt about it.

        But the killer was her past. Women in the imaginative world of female la la land brush it off as “baggage”, an admission she had been to a swingers’ club.

        This was a high flyer with a big job. The late William Donaldson’s dinner parties were occasionally interrupted by his wife having to leave to do a trick but I am not that broad minded.

        Assignation two. 400 mile round trip. Nice. Smitten, liked her. Over me like a rash. Two years since her last relationship ended, now ready for another bloke. Then, by the way I am away for a few days. Oh, where are you going? To see an exhibition with… (ex) ….and by the way we are sharing a bed. Really? Yes it’s for reasons of economy. Really? We will never touch one another for three nights. Really? Yes, I am an honest person you must believe me.

        Cue the lads. They are laughing so much they are spilling their beer.

        So, I’ve had lots of men Lydia, I ask again. Tell me how I, a simple soul who with one target: a bright, faithful woman, can find just that on the “internet” without having to waste weeks of my emotional life wading through acres of bad mannered liars and their baggage?

      • t lover says:

        And whilst I am having a rant dearest Lydia can I point out that looks (height and weight) are not everything. In fact some might consider you a tad shallow for not being able to look beyond appearances although I must admit that women who are so fat they have to travel by tank transporter are not my personal choice.

        Consider the late John Mortimer who, urban myth has it, took the trollies off many an attractive woman by the simple expedients of charm and wit. Certainly not looks.

        And the no job business, why is that one of your criteria? Only interested in the money are we? You would reject the nicest of blokes because he is temporarily out of work? Or a 20 stone midget would be number one in your wish list provided he had a fat bank balance?

        There is mitigation. I expect there must be a degree of genetic pre-disposition in attraction. Maybe you can’t help it. Having “lots of men” or being attracted to those with a fuller wallet, who knows.

        Here I am gathering indignation as I go. Your how long did the relationship last test of a good bloke is no world beater either. I suspect Sonia Sutcliffe might still be married to Peter. Judicially searated but still married.

        Bring on a nice, bright girl. Where is she? There must be one somewhere. I am on my knees as I ask.

  • Lydia says:

    You’ve hardly met anyone. Meet a lot more and you’ll find lots who are good.

    I was saying analyse if you have too many critieria as to whether you can ditch some of them, that’s all. However it is good to have some.

    Eg some men seek to avoid asexual women (often because their own ex wife never gave them enough sex) and here you are damning some poor soul because she once went to a swingers club. That’s fine – your right but you need to decide what really does matter and not make that list too long.

    I mentioned looks matter on both sides. So do you. You don’t want the 20 stone fatty (who does?). Obviously some women will want a clever ugly fat man who is rich and perhaps some men will also put up with someone female who is pretty nice, kind (never under estimate the importance of kindness) and clever and funny and fat. However most of us end up with someone at about parity with us.

    I find that works best. So I am fairly good looking and I prefer a man who looks attractive to me. It’s quite hard to go to bed with someone you aren’t attracted to whether you’re male or female.

    Also if you have huge choice (as I often seem to have) then your criteria can be sharper. I’d like someone about my educational and IQ level etc. I also avoid men who live miles away (you had yor 450 mile round trip – just look nearer home and then the quick 30 minute drink whilst you think of an excuse to make a quick exit it fine). If you’re an employer with 800 candidates for a few jobs you can impose more criteria in terms of whom you reject. If you have one applicant you might be less fussy. Same with dating. Supply and demand. The fat ugly low IQ planktons rather than the pretty planktons and never mind the pre tty non planktons have a lot less choice and might be grateful for Mr On the Dole, no Money, face like the back of a bus, 25 stone IQ of 100 type man.

  • toyman says:


    Lydia I got worried for a moment……………..

    I thought you were talking about me…………………..

    The I remembered I am 24 stone……………


    That was close………………………………….

    • Lydia says:

      Lots of people are happy with a 24 stone wife (or husband). She’s less likely to go off with your best friend. In fact some feel insecure if their husband or wife loses weight.

      However those of us who manage to stay at normal weights tend to want someone similar.

      You often get very fat families.
      Ive’ dated someone fat and it’s very difficult. The tummy makes a huge difference in bed to normal sex. Also they look awful in the street and you’re embarrassed to be with them.

      Given 50% of this country is overweight it’s a very very big issue in all senses.

      Again it’s a criteria. Would you daet a woman who waw 24 stone (or man for that matter) or not? Woudl they not squash you ibn bed? How could they do particular positions if the blubber gets in the way? How could they take part in normal family active events? Could they ski?

      Worst of all if you love them is that their life expectancy could be so much lower although I suppose if they’re rich and you want their money then the fatter they are the better so they die off sooner.

  • Lydia says:

    It’s not very hard to make men want you. Finding one who will be right long term and who I can be good for is harder. Those statistics are very good. It’s a little bit more complex than that although to be fair I remember talking to my last boyfriend and I knew he liked my brain, personality etc and it was the 32DD chest which was coming out there as pretty important.. laughing as I type… the secret of it is perhaps breasts. Joking… a bit.

  • Lydia says:

    You see it’s not hard. Plankton just needs a push up bras and a few low cut tops and she’d be away….
    Although gosh they ‘ve always got in the way. it’s certainly an inconvenience to be well endowed. I’ll shut up now and be more serious.
    (And of course the best combination is the breast and brains one. I won’t put my Mensa score…)

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