August 13, 2011 § 20 Comments
I want to say a socking great thank you to all of you have wished me good luck with the fellow that my mother and I are all excited about. That is so sweet of you and I am very touched.
Of course I am gagging to pass on any good news but, characteristically I guess, I am not expecting it any time soon.
Much though I was transfixed by his book and his winning character (so unwittingly but vividly conveyed), it has to be said, I fear, that he is something of a Long Shot. Quite apart from the fact I have never met him even though he is a far distant relation, he is good and kind and funny and clever so already has a number of women after him, I gather. When I know that about a man it freaks me out because, ever the defeatist, I think, oh well, bugger that then, what chance have I? And I usually bow out of the ring before I’ve even entered it.
My mother and other beloved parent met Long Shot about three weeks ago, and they were very much under the impression that he was single then. The other beloved parent, taking on the Mrs Bennett role, loyally extolled my virtues at some length, apparently, although he did so in a way that I am not entirely convinced made me out to be altogether irresistible to LSLS (Long-Suffering Long Shot). But never mind. Frankly, if my aunt’s wisdom (cf. earlier post, The Wisdom of My Aunt) is anything to go by, all Other Beloved Parent’s efforts will have anyway gone to waste. LS will have already been snatched up before I have even managed to wangle one meeting and had one goddamn chance to strut my stuff. (Oh, and what 47 year old stuff, too, ha bloody ha!)
This is inordinately vexing. As we know, a good one that comes on the market, ain’t on the market for more than a millisecond. Long Shot was seemingly available just a few Thursdays ago.
I kind of doubt he is any more but I suppose he can remain a Long Shot till such time that I receive absolute confirmation that he is a Man on the Leash of a Gorgeous Pouting Blonde in Tight White Jeans Up to Her Fucking Nostrils Who Though Brand New to Him Is Proprietorally Clinging on to Him for Dear Life. Though, with any darn luck, and if his book is anything to go by, he is not attracted to that type, or at least doesn’t think he is but that’s before someone unlike me (never worn a pair of white jeans in my life and altogether rather more retiring) lands on his lap and gives him no choice. (Which reminds me, I must tell you about Circus Man sometime, grrrr!).
But I am so enchanted by the idea of Long Shot – for that is all he is, as yet, an idea – that I have come all over teenage even though there are no definite plans for a meeting as yet. How sad is that? It’s just that he sounds so utterly wonderful.
So it is, Long Shot – ping! – Add to Basket.
Already Added to Basket some time ago: Smidgen and October Man (who I have yet to tell you about, but will anon).
I wonder – though am as yet taking no bets; I’ll leave that to you loyal followers – with which one of these “twinkles” as my godmother calls them, am I going to get to Proceed to Checkout?
If, God willing, any of them? Probably none!
Ah, bollocks! What the hell? Perchance to dream.