Plankton Food

September 2, 2011 § 10 Comments

Today, one of my best male friends – married but, incidentally, a friend of Long Shot and on a touching mission to match-make us (no time is too soon!) – told me that he had spent a few days on holiday this summer with a man who admitted he held a very serious candle for me.

Tra la!

The candle-holder is a merry fellow with a wide smile and serious twinkle in his eye who I have only seen two or three (very jolly, fond) times these past couple of decades (the most recent, a year or two ago) but who, in my youth, made me laugh and to whom I became quite close.  I was puzzled at the time, in my twenties it was, that he showed all the signs of a certain interest and affection, but he never even snogged me.  (One of the original Mixed-Messages Men in my life?).

Now, years fucking later I hear that, of all the women he knows, he adores and would have liked to have married me!  Blow me down, I can’t imagine there are too many of those men in existence.

Well, of course, I am in clover.  Hearing that has made an already sunny day several thousand watts sunnier.

Trouble is, he married – and still is married – to someone else, so precious little practical good the knowledge has done me.  But as a confidence-booster for someone in her progressing-apace years, it is priceless and I am not complaining, nor am I losing the plot, I promise.  Call it Plankton Food, bit like the thin and flakey and muted-multi-coloured stuff you feed to goldfish: hardly substantial by anyone’s standards, but nonetheless life-giving; particularly precious to planktons and cherished by them like some emotional El Bulli feast.

I am sitting at my desk with a big, fat, yucky smug smile on my face, and when I finish writing this I will rise from my chair and there will be a corny but definite spring in my step.

Allowed, or really too daft for words?

Ps.  Anyone who fancies I am Liz Jones or thinks that I fucking write like her, as apparently a couple of my loyal but wrong-headed commentators have been speculating, can… am trying to be uncharacteristically restrained here…should be ashamed of their powers of conjecture which are resoundingly wanting, and they should do me the honour of damn well thinking again.

§ 10 Responses to Plankton Food

  • Lydia says:

    Well there you are, yet another one. The world is full of possible men. Indeed one once said to me the best source of good men if you’re in your 40s is married men and then you entice them away from their wives as plenty of men won’t leave one woman even if very unhappy (virtually all divorces are initiated by women) until another woman is lined up.

    I don’t mess around with married men although they do sometimes try it on but it’s a recipe for disaster. Most don’t leave their wives (same goes for married women having affairs) and if he’d do it to that wife he’ll do it to you later. However it’s certainly a route plenty of women take – target good suitable married man who may not be that happy with his wife, entice him away. One I know remarried within 12 months. She won her man. Apparently they (but not the ex wife) are very happy. People call and talk because I’m divorced and they think I’ll listen without criticising which I suppose I do as I’m polite but I certainly have been the ear to divulge to of a good few married men torn between children and their new lover.

    If you want more Plankton food just go out where men are and you’ll see you’re appreciated. It is relatively simple to check if you’re still lusted after. It tends to involve either high heels, a short skirt and ideally large breasts.

    Have fun.

  • Rory from Dublin says:

    I think you are dwelling too much on this man thing and should park the whole thing and stop fretting.

    It is frankly a tad like you are a wee bit desperate and thinking too much about a small number of potential partners. As much as there are some remarkable, available women-of which I have no doubt you are one and out there seeking a suitable man to make a go of things with, there are equally a large number of remarkable, available men-I include myself as a suitable available(perhaps not so remarkable but then I am somewhat modest-no lady wants a cocky chap) man- seeking the same as you.

    I have learned to go with the flow and I am confident that some fine lady will come into my life and blow me away, And in turn I might even do the same for her in return, at the same moment. Completely brilliant!


  • The Plankton says:

    Lydia and Rory, you misunderstand me. I am not thinking in terms of chasing this married man. That is NOT my style as you should both know from being long-term and loyal readers of this blog. I was merely saying, it feels nice to hear that there is someone out there who holds a candle, but that’s the end of it.

    • Lydia says:

      I know. I just got myself distracted on to the married man issue. Some people do think they offer you the best chance. Given how many people aren’t happily married and are very jealous of single people in their 40s like us, stealing the married man or woman might not be such a bad thing but I wouldn’t do it and I think you’re right not to, as a self preservation issue as much as a moral issue; as most married people of both sexes don’t leave their spouse for their lover, no matter what promises they make. I know a few but not many.

  • AJ says:

    Of course it’s allowed, it’s little things like that which keep you going, gives you affirmation that you are not completely invisible as you perhaps thought. Good for you..

    I had a similar experience this week from an ex-colleague (also very married) who expressed a soft spot for me too, he wasn’t propositioning me and I didn’t feel threatened, he told me if I did
    meet a man, they would be lucky to have me in
    their life. Made me feel lovely..

  • Joules says:

    I agree – it does feel nice to know that there is someone who holds a candle. This happened to me just recently when an old friend admitted to me, as I was cooking him lamb chops in my kitchen, that he had always fancied me. Unfortunately he now lives on the other side of the world and was just visiting for a few weeks. But it did make me feel just a little bit special in a good way for a while. So bless all candle holders for that. Though it would be nice if they made their feelings known when we could do something about it (i.e. on the same continent or free and single) because you never know – you both might get lucky.

  • leftatforty says:

    In clover? Why? He did not kiss nor marry you even when you were at your prime…

  • jane says:

    Ok Lady, back in your pram! my comparison to Liz Jones writing style was just an observation,fuelled mainly by the pet name thing for your various ‘interests’. I can see why you do it, it’s essential in gossip to make sure that the receiver understands the identity of all the various components.
    I will take your affront as genuine and put my suspicions away.Your daily posting is compulsive reading anyway.
    I completely get the ‘someone, somewhere thinks I’m fabulous’ feeling that being told you have a secret admirer engenders. Truthfully don’t we all want to feel a bit special, it’s the reason a whole lot of affairs and internet relationships spring up. The relentless pressure to be fabulous, gorgeous, great at everything you turn your hand to and a raging sex goddess into the bargain is hard enough to stand firm in the face of if you have a significant other. Alone or in an unhappy relationship, the effort increases massively. If you can remain impervious to that then good for you, but plenty of us don’t.

  • JD says:

    I think you should enjoy it, as you are. I imagine it would be a wonderful feeling to know that you have been thought about so frequently in such positive, and probably lustful ways!

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