Smidgen’s (text-prompted) Telephone Call

September 6, 2011 § 13 Comments

OK. OK. OK.  Not ideal, I know.  Broke a habit of a lifetime (think I did that not so long ago with Snowman; better watch myself!) and against all of your wonderous advice – forgive me – texted the Smidgen about an hour ago.  (Advice exists to be broken, no?  Where would we be if we all abided rigidly by advice?  I’d be up my arse busily focusing on falling in love with myself just so someone would fall in love with me because I am worth it; bleargh!)  Texting was not exactly a show of my normal restraint in these matters but in the event not a disaster.

Blow me down; he rang me back within seconds.

Long chat.  Holiday catch-up and several topics covered.

We left it that he’d come round for a drink next week but I don’t know if he will because we left it that we would, but we didn’t say when.

I can’t work out if that is a satisfactory result or not.

Guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

A few more grey hairs.  In fact, I don’t have a single grey hair, but at this rate it won’t be long.


§ 13 Responses to Smidgen’s (text-prompted) Telephone Call

  • Sarah says:

    I know the feeling!

    Frankly, it’s like being 21 again. Perhaps this weekend if you haven’t heard from him you could text him with a ‘How about Wednesday 8pm for drinks my place?’. Nice and straightforward, no pressure – men like that.

  • anniebub says:

    Dear Plankton,I think I said a few weeks ago that you must nail your dates down. No good leaving it open. Be specific. You have got three quarters of the way there but left yourself still in a state of suspension. He would prefer it to be in his diary too. Most men would. Xx

  • Bambi says:

    Grey hairs? i’m surprised you are not BALD at this stage (from tearing your hair out)!

    Sarah’s plan sounds like a good one to me. Otherwise you could be hanging on all week. Though I’m not sure why you agreed to/suggested meeting him at your house….

    What do the men on the blog think you should do?

  • Doug says:

    I agree with Sarah.
    Text him tomorrow and firm up on a day and time.
    ‘Drinks next week’ is not a good result by itself.

  • june says:

    What did you say plankton. i am all ears as i have heard nothing from the man from plenty fish, after we exchanged mobile nos. His last message was suggest somewhere to meet you are comfortable with, i did when i texted him my mobile no, and thats it nothing, in spite of him saying this week would be good to meet.

    One of my closest friends says dont chase him or text him, this though coming from a person who has always chased men and when her partner left, she texted, chased him and bent my ear ov er several weeks on how was she to get him back, she did in end, is to be taken with a pinch of salt.

    Any advice gladly received.

    • Erin says:

      Dear June,
      No more attempts on your part. Put him on the back burner and continue to meet/date on Plenty of Fish. If he calls and you feel like going out, do. If he doesn’t, he wasn’t worth your time. Who wants a wishy washy man who can’t even manage to pick up the phone or text? Not you, my dear. You are worth more than that : )

      • plumgrape says:

        If she says she is not available, what does that mean? Never available because “I am married” and “I never look at another man” or just busy right now? Read my mind they say, I mean you ARE telepathic aren’t you? I mean you CAN do this can’t you? And all this from the women who are an enigma in a conundrum in a puzzle, why, because guess what they can ask their friends about you, know everything there is to know about you but they just can’t call! No bottle I say.

  • Lydia says:

    if I don’t want to see them again I don’t fix a time to meet after a call. If they want to see me then always always try to nail it down to a day and time. I’m slightly reluctantly having a dinner next week with someone who made me nail it down to a night.
    If someone wants someone you usually know but sometimes people develop at different paces.

    If you’re really really into someone you will be in touch. If you’re not very sure you will just leave it. I do try to be clear (I am usually the one rejecting someone as men always think at least they mgiht get sex so seem to be keener) if I’m not keen as I don’t want to waste people’s time.

    Do as suggested above – contact him in a day or two to fix a time.

    A drink at your place is very very intimate and surely unsual but I can’t remember if he’s a close family friend or something. I wouldn’t bring a man anywhere near my home or my children until we’d been going out for a good long while and it might be going somewhere and inviting them home usually means subtext sex. I’m surprised by that bit. Or do you mean come round for a drink to your local area in a bar?

    • plumgrape says:

      I am so surprised by how carefully thought out your reply is Lydia. Can you please show yourself in a picture?
      I don’t think in my experience things have been quite so deliberative or ruminating. If you are not available for any reason, please just say so. If on the other hand you just can’t talk to a man for whatever reason then this I say is your cross.

  • plumgrape says:

    Well done, Plankton. That’s that then, talk to a man! I think the “never talk to a man” missive is the result of your problem and the detritus of a feminine coping mechanism to deal with men left over from a pre-historic or bygone age. See “Women who run with the wolves” Clarissa Pinkola Estés

  • Fi0na says:

    Doesn’t seem anything wrong with it to me. You angst like a 20 something. I got onto you from listening to Woman’s hour (what else). It made compelling reading all last night and quite got in the way of preparing my presentation…

  • Lynda House says:

    This sounds very complicated to me! What’s wrong with just saying,’I am trying out a new chicken pie recipe, would you like to come round and for supper tonight?’

    Men are fairly basic creatures and respond fairly well to plain straightforward communication! Especially well to offers of roast dinners, chicken pie etc!

    And when you finally get him round, if that is what your really want, don’t talk endlessly about relationships! Try asking him about himself, he will talk for hours and think you are a brilliant conversationalist.

  • plumgrape says:

    I agree with you, Fiona and interesting points Lynda. Can you imagine all the men Plankton is or can be talking to right now, (if she really is a woman, I have not categorially ascertained at all), especially when you think that she cannot give out her name, telephone number or email address and then what is the implication of this vis a vis, “bottom of the sexual food chain”? personally, I think the problem is programming which moots, sex equals ownership! The emotional richness comes from the sharing of care, love and understanding and this can really be done with anyone even those you least expect after many years.

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