Longer Shot

September 8, 2011 § 8 Comments

Several months ago I fell in love with a man c/o Janey and in some senses I think he did with me.  It is a long story for another day (soon), but he as good as disappeared from her life as well as mine.

Long Shot still hasn’t replied to her email of several days ago.

Even though she is the best match-maker in all Europe, I sometimes wonder if her efforts with me are cursed.

Not that LS was anything other than an LS.  So he remains.

In fact, I think I am deranged even to give him a second thought, not least because I have heard from someone who knows him that he is emotionally distant and emotional distance is hardly a winner when it comes to romance, relationships, even silly notions such as I currently hold.

I never was able to deal with emotional distance.  So alienating.  Something my boyfriends and husbands never were.  I like a man who talks openly and honestly.

Long Shot is necessarily turning into Longer Shot.

Alas.  The idea of him was so very compelling.  But I guess that was all he ever was. An idea.

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§ 8 Responses to Longer Shot

  • Erin says:

    It’s obvious that he is not good enough for you. Emotionally distant people = lonely and neglected you. You are worth more than this.

  • Sarah says:

    Emotionally distant? RUN FOR THE HILLS!!

    Life’s too short.

  • MissM says:

    Is there anyone who likes someone who is emotionally distant? It is not a pleasant trait.

    I am beginning to think society could benefit from professional matchmakers. At the very least I know I could benefit from one. Once she has sorted you out Plankton, may I perhaps borrow your Janey? For that matter I’ll catch a flight to the UK for anyone who thinks they are able to match-make for me.

    • Lydia says:

      There are lots of professuional matchmakers around. I went to one which charges £5k although I didn’t follow it up as they weren’t likely to have a suitable man for me. If you want someone at your own income level which is a good start for some of us then those services are available.
      There is a lot of Jewish matchmaking that goes on (I’m not Jewish). I also live i an area where there are loads of people who have arranged marriages.
      Then some of the dating web sites have reasonably sophisticated software to suggest matches.

      Very few women want emotionally distant men. In fact if a man were sent to boarding school at 7 I can almost guarantee he’ll not be worth seeing. Also there are higher levels of aspergers syndrome around than people think (mostly in men). Those men can be lovely but they are not suitable for most of us. For me the emotional intelligence quotient is as important as the raw IQ. Little is sexier than a clever man (the brain is the sexiest organ of all) but if he also has a high EI that’s even better.

  • JD says:

    You need a hug! /gives hug/

  • EmGee says:

    Yes leave the emotionally distant alone. Even if it is tolerable in the beginning, it only gets worse, and they usually expect you to be able to read their minds so you know how they are felling at any given time.

  • Oxonian says:

    To be honest it sounds like you’ve been building long shot up too much for a while. I don’t know how much interaction you’ve had with writers, but it doesn’t take a great deal to realise that there are some sorry specimens of humanity lurking behind the most beautiful and insightful writing.

    • Lydia says:

      That’s why you need to call them and meet them reasonably soon and do it in quite some quantity or you never get anywhere or just look when you’re out and about. I saw a few suitable men today although I wasn’t in an environment to be approached.

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