The Ripeness of Pears
September 16, 2011 § 30 Comments
Yesterday I touched on the business of timing.
One of Eddie Izzard’s best jokes was about the ripeness of pears. He observed – and I paraphrase – how the very optimum between rock hardness and total woolliness was invariably at about 3.06 in the morning.
So it is with available men such as the one about whom I wrote yesterday. One minute they are far too raw about their bereavement or divorce to be able seriously to consider any relationship let alone a serious one, the next they are in a serious one with someone who, with crashing inevitability, isn’t me. It’s that minuscule window of ripeness between the two which is as difficult to catch as a nit in the hair of Struwwelpeter . Since becoming a plankton, as lack of luck would have it (and not for the lack of trying), I have never been at the right place at the right (millisecond of) time.
Short of staying up all night every night and stalking, how the hell do other women do it?