Poppy Seed’s Call

September 19, 2011 § 13 Comments

The call came through yesterday afternoon.  I am ashamed to say I was slumped, half-asleep having eaten a soporific lunch.  One of the children answered the telephone, which was not ideal.  When I took it, I was far from bright of mind and my sleep-fuddled tone completely failed to disguise the fact that I knew who it was – which he must have found odd considering I hadn’t seen or spoken to him for years, though may have guessed my mother would have tipped me off  – and indeed had been expecting his call.  Not exactly very cool.  When he asked me out for a cup of coffee, or a drink, or even supper, I replied in a voice which must have sounded as though I had a large gag of cotton wool in my mouth.  Too eagerly – even though in truth I didn’t feel all that eager – I said, yes, yes, yes, I am up for day time, evening, whatever, and dinner was fine as long as I had enough notice to score a babysitter, blah, blah, blah.  The poor man.  He must have put down the telephone thinking what kind of weird woman had he let himself in for?  There again, we only settled on lunch, and anyone can endure a mere weekday lunch with someone, it’s hardly terminal.  When we are face to face, I hope to make amends, and be my more normal, somewhat brighter self, but he can make lunch quick if he wants to, and it can be the first and last of it.

I have to admit, had I been less sleepy, there are still no guarantees that I would have handled the conversation any better.  I’m crap at this stuff.  And I would be a liar if I said that, had I been more on the ball, I would have made my excuses and not taken him up on his offer.  I would have agreed to a date in any case, despite the extensive and excellent advice I have had to give such a fellow a wide berth.  The fact is, he is the first and only man who has asked me out on a date for about 100 years and, frankly, even if he is not an enormously promising prospect (with the possible exception of his bank balance, but there again my DNA is obviously wanting in as much as I have never found money an aphrodisiac), I am at this point open to suggestion.

Almost indecently open to suggestion.

In the face of a tiny crumb chucked at one out of nowhere, and in the almost complete absence of any other sustenance whatsoever, I challenge any other plankton not to have done the same thing.


§ 13 Responses to Poppy Seed’s Call

  • Sarah says:

    Nothing wrong with going out to lunch with a man, P. It’s not like you’re expecting him to ask you to marry him, or that you think marriage is a likely outcome.

    You’re just going out for lunch. With a man. Enjoy it.

  • GILLY BEAL says:

    Isn’t it extraordinary how we over-think even the slightest possible interaction with a potential date? I am sure he didn’t even notice you sounded a little too keen or a bit sleepy. And I agree, even a little crumb is worth pursuing. I currently live in Asia – in Singapore – which I call the nunnery. Not only is there a severe shortage of interesting men of a certain age who are single, they are more often than not fascinated with the exoticism of the local women (and who can blame them) so I feel I have become completely invisible to the opposite sex. Except of course my posse of gay men friends….

  • Patricia says:

    Good on you P! I would do exactly the same, given the crumb situation, and nothing ventured nothing gained etc etc – go for it!

  • MissBates says:

    I know, I know. After a long dating drought, it seems almost ungrateful not to accept an invitation, no matter the warning signs. Sigh. Think of it as good practice.

  • AJ says:

    Of course we’d all do the same. Like Sarah says, it’s only lunch. Go for it and have fun, be yourself and you’ll be fine.

  • Erin says:

    Remember Dear P, open mind, blinders off. You have heard third-hand stories about this man. Who really knows what his situation is? But if your red (or even pink) flags start waving, it’s time to get out of there. Good luck and don’t forget to order dessert! : )

  • HKM says:

    Interesting that you women fuss and fret over the tiniest little detail, worrying about this and that. Us guys seldom notice these waves of your ether and apparently don’t care. It’s the way we are. It’s in our genes. Get over it!

    Have a nice lunch with him and stop worrying so much.

  • Dawn says:

    Don’t think of it as a date. Just lunch with someone who knows people you know. And never mind what he thinks of you, just worry about what you think of him.

  • EmGee says:

    “Almost indecently open to suggestion.”

    Hoo boy, P, you asked for it! So here it is:

    Regarding “taking the call”
    You WERE being your normal self; curlers (so to speak), child, over eager sounding(perhaps), warts, beauty marks, and all. So you didn’t have time to put on your ‘game face’, to be honest, this whole affair of meeting and dating and relationships would be so much easier, if we would just be ourselves, instead of the ourselves we think someone else wants to see and hear.

    Sooner or later, your mask has to come off! Whether you remove it yourself, because it’s become too exhausting to wear, or it gets forcibly removed, usually by an innocent: “Mommy can’t come to the phone right now, she’s rinsing the Clairol out her hair. Why does mommy call you Mr Poppy Seed? Are you a farmer, or do you bake muffins? I just love muffins!”

    P, I don’t have to know you to know you are an attractive, desirable woman, and you have as much choice in these matters as Mr Poppy Seed, or any man.

    A friend I have known for about a year socially, showed up at a party Saturday night with a woman in tow, who had the “Palm Springs Look”: carefully tousled hair, slimmer than a 45+ woman has any right to be, a tastefully sequined jacket, skinny pants, the works, and she was quite attractive. I was in jeans, a casual black top, and canvas slip ons. I did wash my hair for the occasion, but let it air dry as usual. Yep. that’s me, dressed to kill.

    I was being my usual quasi reclusive self, sitting off to one side in a comfy chair, people watching and listening to the live music on stage. This friend came over, and as I stood up to hug him, he said, “I usually just hug you, but tonight I am going to kiss you too”. And he did! Full on the mouth, not in an unseemly manner, but not chaste either.

    This fellow is well liked, tall, good looking, seems comfortably well off, and has many more attributes in the plus column than I will list here.

    Whether this amounts to anything more doesn’t matter. Someone saw me in my most natural state, and still felt compelled to make sure I noticed that he noticed me, and that feels nice.

  • Joules says:

    Good luck. Hope you have some well earned fun! That is what dating is supposed to be – or so I dimly remember.

  • Lydia says:

    1. Don’t give it such importance and don’t think about small details. He was probably just thinking about all kinds of things and not interpreting exactly how you were talking.
    2. If he could hurt you because he’s never faithful then it may be best not to get involved. However he’s single and just because he had a mistress because doesn’t mean he will again and may be his wife had 5 lovers or let him – we just don’t know.
    3. Don’t set too much store by it – it’s only a lunch.

  • DAN. says:

    Well i certainly wouldent plankton, even if he is a multi-millionaire !

    But then again i am a man ! HA ! HA ! HA !

    But as you have obviously made up your mind already .



  • Amy Elliott says:

    hmm be careful plankton,
    I grasped a crumb once , ended up goingn out with the crumb for a year and half mow and now am stuck in a very draining relationship with someone, i am only recently starting to find out is not a nice person at all and very selfish,, and i am heartbroken, so buyer beware
    on the plus side you don’t seem as desparate I was, and lot more emotionally stable.i was so in love with the idea of having a proper “boyfriend” after so long , and that i was willing to overlook all the very obvious warning signs and now I’m basically a nervous wreck from the stress of this toxic relationship, I wish I had just eaten the lovely dinner and ran like f&%k

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