Longer Shot Reverts to Long Shot

September 26, 2011 § 25 Comments

Because I have now actually met him, which is progress, of sorts.

I so nearly bottled, but in the end I did go to the event I knew he was at.   I took a fantastic friend who was brilliant and made sure I met this lovely (very distant) member of my family, and that I sat and talked to him for a long time whilst nobody else could get anywhere near him.

What can I say?  He was precisely as I imagined and did not disappoint.

He is my age, very clever, very funny, very interesting, something of a church mouse (which has never bothered me before and isn’t going to start now), chaotic, charming, a million mutual friends, and almost certainly a disaster in terms of a steady prospect.  To fall in love with him would be dangerous for so many reasons, the least of which would be geography (he lives far, far away).

I have a good pretext to text but the question remains: to text or not to text?

One cousin says a resounding yes because he is the type who needs a nudge and would like and respond to it and, more than likely, might not have noticed any signals I might have been giving off (not entirely sure I noticed them either, but hey, what do I know?)  Another cousin says a resounding no because I need a man who wants me enough for him to do the chasing and I must not put myself in the line of fire.

Plankton in a pickle.


§ 25 Responses to Longer Shot Reverts to Long Shot

  • joules says:

    To fall in love is dangerous. I think text him, short and sweet.

  • Sarah says:

    You could always text him to say how much you enjoyed meeting him and hope you can do the same again. Everyone likes to hear they were a hit with someone.

  • Sarah says:

    You have nothing to lose – the worst that can happen is that he doesn’t text back and then at least you know where you stand – GFI, life’s too short.

  • Oxonian says:

    Well done!

    I’m not qualified to advise on this situation for reasons of age and sex, but would say you should try to separate any low confidence/fear of humiliation reasons for not pursuing from the more weighty considerations you allude to. Also maybe try not to become fixated on the situation.

    In any case this sounds like a successful social encounter with an appealing male, so you should try to take some heart from it!

  • Patrese says:

    Yes, a neutral text leaves your options open..

  • june says:

    You could text him, but depends how you feel.

    The distance is something i personally would never contemplate, i cant see how such a relationship would work, but could you deal with that. Also you say he would be very wrong for me, well think youve answered your own question, if you feel that, a person has to be right for you,i see too many who are wrong for friends, trying to keep it together to know that is true. It is temping in our lonely staus plankton, to start a relationship with someone not right for us,but approach with caution i would say.

  • Patricia says:

    You have a good pretext to text – so DO text him. Please!

  • Jo-Jo says:

    Do not be afraid to get in touch with him, if he is a little shy, he may need a little nudge…….do it Angel (my new name for you, because you are not Plankton at all….you are what you think or believe, so stop thinking you are Plankton when you are not!!!!!) You have nothing to lose by getting in touch with him, and potentially you have so much to gain. Pleeeeeeeeeease do it………..we your fans are all behind you!!!!!!!!!

  • Rubia says:

    I think you are already half in love with him anyway. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, please DO text him!

  • Penny says:

    You spoke to him for a long time, you have his mobile no, you could text him. But like your friend said, if he is interested he should chase you. The film “He is not into you” is so right, men will get in contact if they are interested. But apparently that is an old fashioned way of looking at it. Most young girls dont think twice of texting a guy. I still want a guy to chase me. Maybe he didnt realise you liked him, perhaps you didnt give off any signals. Bear in mind too that he lives far far away, thats a big issue and some men dont like long distance relationships. You might find out more if you do text. Maybe it will put your mind at rest.

  • Empress says:

    You should text, there’s nothing to lose but possibly much to gain. If you do nothing it leaves the question unanswered and you will always wonder “what if”. Be brave and do it, might work, might not but the important thing is that you will know and to my way of thinking that’s always the better option. Good Luck.

  • MissBates says:

    I guess I fall somwhere btw your two cousins on this one. It sounds like there WAS chemistry, so yes, as you say you have a legit pretext to contact him, go ahead and send the text. (But that’s it.) : )

  • sophia says:

    The question should not be whether to text or not but what to text.

  • Lydia says:

    If there were chemistry he would have been leaning in towards you. His eyes might have been in your cleavage and he might have tried to kiss you at the end although you’re saying he’s very shy so that might ensure he did none of those things. Was this the one with a wife and mistress who is recently divorced and well off?

  • Text. Text already! Something light, flirtatious and which invites a reply.

    And then, having established that you’d welcome communication from him, allow him to do the rest! (Resist temptation to over function.)

    • John, a gentle man. says:

      Dear F at F, wise woman that you are. Why is it that your sisters cannot see that a man, ‘of a certain age’, needs signals to know that he will not be walking, ‘the walk of shame’ ( memories here of discos in the village hall, sliperine spread liberally, with girls and boys around tables on opposite sides of the dance-floor. Possibly before your time. lol

  • fi says:

    DON’T DO IT. If this is the same guy you were writing about weeks ago (author) then re-read your posts about him and you’ll see that pretty much from the start you had decided you wanted him and short of him having something really wrong with him you would always have decided he was right for you. Therefore you’re not objectively looking at him or the date yesterday. And isn’t he the one who you said had had loads of women? That’s not a shy or reticent man. I’m sure too that you made it clear just how much you liked him and he won’t need a text from you to help him along. If he wants you he’ll contact you otherwise you risk feeling humiliated at worst and at best, not quite sure whether he would have bothered if you hadn’t chased him up.

  • Patricia says:

    No no! You mustn’t play it cool – UNLESS he is the one with the wife and mistress – surely not? If so P, I’ve been there……had a bit of fun for 6 months, but ultimately only had myself to blame when it ended badly (euphemism for he cheated!). Tell me – it’s not that one, is it?

  • Mezzanine says:

    Hey Ms P, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Text a message of how much you enjoyed meeting up with him and leave it open for him to respond. Easy Peasey…

  • Leftatforty says:

    Do not text him. No way.

  • EmGee says:

    To text or not to text? Follow your first instinct, before you asked anyone’s advice (which I believe was to text).

    Once again I repeat what I have said before; it is natural to do what we think the other expects us to do, but we are better served in the long run to just be ourselves. HOw will he know if you are Ms Right for him, if he thinks you are someone else? Trust your judgement.

    If he doesn’t respond or respond favorably, don’t take it as failure, mark him down in the “Not the One” column, and move on.

  • Jo says:

    Oh do text.Simple.Short.Enjoyed meeting you -or some such-.
    Let me know if you would like to meet again.
    That’s it.Ball in his court.
    Whatever.You said something,which is better than NOTHING AT ALL and forever wondering…
    You’re NOT chasing.
    His reply will tell you all you need to know…
    Doing nothing through fear is pants.

  • Dawn says:

    While it’s true that if a man is interested he will track you down to the ends of the earth, a polite “such fun talking to you!” would not be out of line.

  • Dawn says:

    But maybe wait a day or two before sending it…

  • plumgrape says:

    I say text, Plankton. It has nothing whatsoever to do with wanting you so badly he’ll do the chasing. As I told a woman I loved: It’s the terms and conditions. Send the text. Enter a dialog. If he can reply, and likes the medium then no doubt he will reply. It is a good medium because you can say whatever you wish and I think personally it ferrets out disingenuity because you must think about what you will say instead of letting any old rubbish come trippingly off the tongue like so many women I know carry on because they think men are 12 a penny and complacency is a cause celebre!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

What’s this?

You are currently reading Longer Shot Reverts to Long Shot at The Plankton.


%d bloggers like this: