Spoilt for Choice? Give Me a Break!

October 10, 2011 § 10 Comments

While it may seem as though I am spoilt for choice, I just need to go over my choices to prove to those who think I am no longer a rightful plankton, that I jolly well am.

First, a nice man whom I don’t fancy.  I am fully aware that planktons should feel themselves supremely fortunate to have anyone after them, even Cyclops himself, let alone a kindly man of means, and that planktons cannot afford to be choosy, ever, such is their lowly status.  Indeed, in the dark forest of the night, I am wondering in ten years’ time, when there is still nobody and never will be again, if I will look back at this “chance” and regret not clutching it to my bosom and clinging on for dear life bearing in mind beggars and all that, and the fact that I am firmly, wholly, utterly and manifestly in the last chance saloon.  I do not fancy him and do not think it is right, but who is to say what I may feel a desert-y decade from now?

Second, Smidgen.  I waiver on this one for a number of reasons.  It wouldn’t be awfully professional to enter into a relationship with him, but by no means inappropriate.  That makes me hesitate slightly.  I think he and I both run hot and cold on this factor, as well as our feelings – or not – for each other.  Put it this way: he is great, he could turn out the be the love of my life, and I may be looking back some time from now and think, what took me so long?  There he was all that time under my nose; how foolish of me, so much time when I could have been with him wasted, dithering and feeling sorry for myself and bleating on about planktonhood, and there he was all along.  Ah well, no point dwelling and Happy Ever After!  I am not dismissing this scenario, but right now I can’t quite see it somehow.

Third, Long Shot.  It is so obvious that I am completely the person for him and vice versa, only the problem is he hasn’t clocked that yet, so while I am working on it, avidly it must be said, it cannot be said I have got very far so far, though the signs of spending some time with him imminently are the tinsiest bit promising.  I then just have to get over the hurdle of securing him falling in love with me.  No picnic.  I am not one of those people who others regularly and easily fall for.  If I were, I wouldn’t be needing to write this blog because the plankton experience would be completely beyond my ken as it is for a lot of women who look better than I do, and have legs up to their nostrils.

As for any other men: I have not even met let alone spoken to another (unmarried) man for many a moon, and there is nothing of the remotest significance in my diary from here to kingdom come which suggests that I ever will again.  Book Club and renewing my resident’s parking permit permitting.  I don’t think so.

Plankton status seriously secured for another aeon.  End of story.  Unless, of course, any of you are suggesting I should go and hang out at a bloody bus stop.

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§ 10 Responses to Spoilt for Choice? Give Me a Break!

  • John, a gentle man. says:

    Dear Ms P,
    my criticism has never been that you have not yet managed to ‘land’ a suitable partner, indeed you have my empathy, but, that at the outset of this blog, prompted by your Times article, you purported to be ‘invisible’, to ALL normal, breathing males. Now it turns out that you have currently, and possibly had, even as you were writing said Times article, three men ‘on the go’.
    I have been divorced now for sixteen years and in that time have not yet found a partner suitable for me, and I for her. Perhaps I never will, but I am not plankton, and I suggest, neither are you.

  • Chris says:

    Hello Plankton !! Well, I asked before and will ask again. What percentage of middle aged men would you consider to be SFAR ? Because if you have 3 guys on the go who are not SFAR I would think you were doing pretty well. That’s it Have a nice day !!

  • MissBates says:

    No, I would hardly call you “spoilt for choice.” I’ve been following you from the beginning (congrats re 100 posts, by the way!), and as far as I can tell you’ve been out on a couple of lackluster dates with one man to whom you are not attracted (“Poppy Seed”); you’ve entertained thoughts about another (“Smidgen”) who may or may not be interested but apparently hasn’t acted on it, and with whom a romance could be professionally awkward; and you are infatuated with a third (“Long Shot”) and are keeping your fingers crossed that you have a legit pretext to contact him to remind him of your existence and that from there a relationship will flower.

    That is not what I call having three men “on the go,” as John says in his comment above, although I will confess it is more than I can say from my own lowly spot at the bottom of the food chain. In fact, next to me, you are quite the femme fatale, bordering, in fact, on wanton sluttiness. The best that I can come up with is that there are two not-terribly-attractive but perfectly nice heterosexual middle-aged men at my office who vie to see who can make me laugh more, much in the way of the boys in the junior high school cafeteria 30+ years ago. They are each devoted to their wives, which is of course what makes them “nice men” in the first place. But other than that, and to borrow your desert allusion, I’m stranded in the Sahara.

    • The Plankton says:

      Thank you, Miss Bates, for “getting” it, where I’m coming from. I am not exactly in clover, and barely better off than Sahara mode myself. Every word you said rings true. Very best wishes,
      Plankton

  • Lydia says:

    Most of those don’t count. You don’t have a lot and you won’t regret not seizing one you don’t find attractive. You just need to keep at it, have fun and see more men

  • june says:

    Yes Miss Bates i am with you there, same with me, traling the depths of the ocean springs to mind in my case,

    The only men i know and see are my elderly neighbour in upstairs flat, who normally when he sees me likes to make a few witty remarks to make me laugh, like your colleagues, he is very deaf so i am sure he never knows what ive said.back, friends partners, the men who belong to the social group but any remotely eligible are only interested in the under 50s. Thats it. Even on nights out with friends, we have a great time, but never seem to meet men,they of course are all happily or unhappily partnered up, and as have said the unhappy one is so desperate not to become a plankton, she hangs on in there.

    My lovely understanding friend who invited me to meal saturday night texted me yesterday and said know how hard it is for you on your own, sure someone out there for you. Wish there was, cause i sure dont think ill find them internet dating and where else does one meet men, someone suggested queueing at supermarket checkout, on my visits to asda, sainsburys or tescos i have not encounted any fanciable men at the checkout, and sadly my pension wont stretch to waitrose!.

  • Dawn says:

    This is not how I define having “3 men on the go.” It is having three barely breathing rather slim possibilities about. Not to be depressing or anything…

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