October 31, 2011 § 46 Comments
I have had a hellish day today, all head-achy and jittery, huge stress, here, there and everywhere, go, go, go, and can only apologise I haven’t managed to write a proper post. Tomorrow is not going to be terribly different – Wednesday looms like a lovely oasis – so you may have to put up with an inadequate blog today and tomorrow, for which mammoth apologies.
It doesn’t usually come to this. I am even thinking of resorting to valium, but I know I never would. Throughout the total stress of divorce and beyond – which is stress on an industrial scale – I never once resorted to pills or anything except the odd paracetamol when I got a cracking headache. But I do sometimes feel my heart racing and my blood pounding through my veins and I wonder if this stress is the kind that could lead to cancer? There again, I am not a hypochondriac, I never go to the doctor and I am never ill (touch wood! Never be complacent!), but, I think, watch out, what are you doing to your poor body what with all this adrenalin nonsense, all the stuff associated with an ex-husband, single-motherhood, planktonhood, and the rest? I suppose the adrenalin and jittery-ness and anxiety and trampoline heart is all part of the territory and I am an arsehole to think it is cancer-sinister, when I am healthy and well, and so many others are not.
It’s called life.