The Lure of the Lecture
November 5, 2011 § 31 Comments
My (relatively) new best friend makes me laugh till the tears roll, so clever and funny and sassy is she, and she would win the Booker, I swear it, if only I could persuade her to write a novel. Call her Charlotte. Although happily married herself to a brilliant, fantastic man, she announced two days ago that she is on a mission to find me a husband, and I LOVE her. I loved her before she mentioned the mission, but I love her even more now. Such generosity and ingenuity and initiative is a rare thing indeed. Even if she fails, I don’t care, it’s A1* for Effort, while the majority don’t even score a poxy Coasting but instead a resounding Poor.
Charlotte is going about her mission in ways that are imaginative and pro-active, and depart somewhat from sweet Janey’s methods, which is great because at this point I need all manner of methods quite frankly. Charlotte wants to take me to things. Lots of things where men hang out, and by that she doesn’t mean fucking golf clubs. Of an intellectual calibre of infinite reach, she is thinking, more, that the Lecture is the thing.
It was Charlotte who was with me when I met Long Shot (cf. Longer Shot Reverts to Long Shot, 26th September). She batted off the competition – in the form of various other groupie-plankton who were out in force and with astonishing confidence were shamelessly seeking his attention in a way which, for all my mouthiness, I haven’t the courage or the wit even to begin to do. Had it not been for Charlotte, I wouldn’t have even met him, let alone muttered more than two words to him. I would have seen that ballsy Competition and scuttled away, run all the way to Timbuktu, deeming myself completely out of the running for his, “How do you do?”, let alone anything else. She was the one who orchestrated it for me and who kept the Competition firmly in its place, pinning it (there were a few of them) down to conversation on to which Charlotte had a terrier-like grip and out of which they could not slip, all the better to enable me exclusively to talk to LS for nearly an hour. What an angel!
Anyway, she is planning our autumn events to maximum husband-hunting advantage. She has it all mapped out. Unfortunately, one of the key, imminent occasions she had in mind clashes with the one night that Smidgen is supposed to be coming to supper. It was arranged with him weeks ago at Cafe Date numero uno. I don’t know if he still plans to do so, because it has been a good while since the idea was first mooted, and he is a man not enormously forthcoming with his communications. So I am not sure which it is to be that night after all – lecture or pasta at my gaff with Smidgen.
But it’s a glass half-full day today. And, with Charlotte so manifestly on side and on messgage, I am just going to wait and see. With her support, I am, very uncharacteristically, simply going to go with the flow.