We Need to Talk About Smidgen

November 30, 2011 § 24 Comments

The awful thing is, I think I was trying to convince myself all along.

Smidgen had – has – various things in his favour.  He is warm, intelligent, funny.  He is available.  He is neither too old nor too young.  He is local.  He has a job.  People like him.  He is a bachelor and, though he prizes solitude, he also has a gregarious side.  He is not a social misfit.  Though unworldly and wanting a certain sophistication, he is not a stranger to the modern world (blogging etc., though not this blog, I hasten to say!)  There are many things in his favour, but there are, too, a few things not.  Call me unfair but perhaps a certain cowardliness?  Indecisiveness?  Male equivalent of prick-teasiness? and what have you.   And I think, in the end, when push didn’t come to shove, I decided that the disadvantages of Smidgen outweighed the advantages.

There is only so much hovering around the central matter as to whether or not a couple of folk are or are not going to get together that one or another of those folk is prepared to take.  I have been spending time with Smidge for several months and, much though I like him, I always knew in my heart of hearts that he was probably not The One.  He might, I own, have turned out to be, given more time, but there is little time left to me, and definitely not enough for any more silly buggers.  Time to move on.  I glimpsed him in a crowd last night and could have gone to say hello, but I didn’t.

This may sound harsh and as though I am cutting off my nose to spite my not entirely alluring face.  There may be precious few pastures new, but I think it is time to move on to them.  Long Shot, though not altogether a pasture new, is at last showing signs, if slightly eccentric ones, of not finding me entirely physically repellent, and even of maybe wanting to start a dialogue.  So for all my – and your – disquiet about him, he seems a more sure-fire (if not safer) bet than Smidge right now.  Romantic fool that I am, that is the direction, surprise, surprise, in which I am going to turn my attentions, while at the same time not blinding myself to other, fresh possibilities.

I am not a complete fool.  I am fully aware that attentions and possibilities with LS will almost certainly be disappointed, but failure to get to be with someone with whom you can imagine a life is one thing; failure to get to be with someone with whom you can’t really imagine a life, but with whom you thought you’d better give it a try because he was available, friendly enough, and there, is entirely another.

I know for which failure I would rather hold out.  No?


§ 24 Responses to We Need to Talk About Smidgen

  • Jonathan says:

    What will you say when a woman with more sense takes Mr Smidgen off the market? I suspect you don’t want him precisely because he is a nice guy and available. He’ll only become interesting when you’ve had your heart burned by someone else and by then it may be too late. Please don’t misunderstand, I wish you well.

  • rosie says:

    If Smidgen really is that backward in coming forward he may be on the market for a long time to come. A man on his own at this stage in the game either wants to be alone or is unable to engage with a woman on some fundamental level, for who knows what reasons. If he really was available he’d have been snapped up long before now.

  • EmGee says:

    Plankton, you Spin-killer, you! 😀

    Like characters in a serial, it is good to make room for the next one, I can’t wait to hear who the next Mr Maybe will be!

    I can see how male readers may be indignant that you’ve written off Smidge ‘just like that’, but I think that the fact that neither of you made an effort at social contact last night speaks volumes. It is good to have an ordinary male friend there is no emotional attachment to (real or spun).

  • Jo says:

    Dear P. I think for all the reasons that you’ve written and also, how you’ve responded to others’ views, you’re right to move on from Smidgen.
    Onwards and upwards eh? And LS? Pull your finger out mate! Give P some real, concrete hope. We want your happy ending! Best. Jo x

  • MissBates says:

    Apropos of EmGee’s comment above, I think the male readers are missing the point; Plankton did not write Smidgen off “just like that.” To the contrary, she was encouraging without being bunny-boiler material, and gave him every opportunity to make a move over a period of several months, practically serving herself up on a platter after their last dinner. Then, when he didn’t take her up on it, what SHOULD she do but chalk it up to experience and “write him off”? Moon around interminably? She HAS to write him off (as a romantic prospect) as a matter of self-preservation.

  • RS says:

    It’s clear to me, as a more recent fan of this blog, that you are interested in only Long Shot and have been from the get-go. The only man you write about whose faults you are willing to accept, indeed excuse, is LS.

    I fear this will mean unrequited love for years to come, or that your heart will be broken, but I really don’t think there is any way around it.

    • The Plankton says:

      Dear RS, I THINK I am right in saying this is your first comment. Thank you, and yes, you are probably right. Best wishes, Plankton

      • RS says:

        I hope I am not right.

        It’s actually not my first comment; I weighed in once as to how I was confused about the “settling” for someone who doesn’t make the heart sing versus it’s better to be alone debate. And I think I may have commented on the beard debate as well!

  • Erin says:

    WTH??!!! Am so disappointed to see how ball-less Smidgen is! I agree with your friends that he probably does secretly adore you but my God, do you have to do everything? Well, dear P, no one can say you didn’t try. And I’m afraid maybe we’ve been a little hard on you about LS. Keeping fingers and toes crossed that he will come through for you.

  • plumgrape says:

    Good post, plankton. Serious stuff. Well done.

  • Barry says:

    Your logic is faultless P …… this time xx

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