Suspension of the Self

December 21, 2011 § 20 Comments

There is a photograph at my mother’s house of Long Shot.  I have been here since Monday and haven’t bothered to look at it.  Haven’t really been thinking about any of that stuff.  Whenever I am here, the mind empties in peculiar ways and I feel as if I am a suspension of myself, or perhaps it is simply that I regress to the miserable teenager I was.  Certainly, I slept till past eleven this morning.  Shameful.  I am up every day at 6.15 normally, but I haven’t been feeling too good for a couple of days.  All that burning of candles at both ends, probably.  Serves me right.  I am now slumped with my children and eating too much already and watching television.  A belting headache, so this doesn’t promise to be one of my more eloquent posts.

Emails and texts have ceased almost entirely, except for the daily entreaties from Amazon to spend even more money.  Barely a telephone call, let alone from a twinkle.  There is none.  Three days of almost complete silence.  There are a few more final parties – tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow – before Christmas, and then that’s it.  Retreat and hibernation.

Might as well stockpile tappen (favourite word; look it up) right now.

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§ 20 Responses to Suspension of the Self

  • Bambi says:

    Done….. Saving others the bother of looking it up. That’s assuming wiki is corrrect…
    Tappen: an indigestible mass found in the intestines of bears after hibernation.

    Yeuch. Suggest have a nice glass of wine instead, P.

  • Fi says:

    Running out of material? Do internet dating and write about the depressing/ amusing/hopeful experiences you’ll have there.

  • Geoffrey says:

    P – you may be a little short of twinkles during the break so perhaps it is time for a little reflection? Perhaps a post on what types you went for pre-marriage and how your perspectives have changed, or alternatively resolutions for how you will improve your prospects in 2012? Gx

  • Joules says:

    Dear P. Ah – the bosom of our families. And in my family they are substantial.

    Looked up Tappen here in the US, there is something to do with bears and why they may be in a bad mood when they wake up after hibernation, an appliance company of some sort (imagine if the pipes are making a bit of a noise and you grew up in the midwest of the USA – you would have tappin’ in your Tappin . You could be eating tiffin whilst listening to the tappin’ in your Tappin. And you could be living in North Dakota -talk about the wind coming straight out of the Artic – while you are doing all this, in a town called Tappin – population 197. Waiting for the bears to wake up – though might have been some time since there were bears in Tappin, North Dakota – if Tappin were in Minnesota things might be difficult as you would also have those bears to contend with.

    Obviously lots of Christmas cheer this side of the pond.

  • EmGee says:

    One of the joys of Xmastime is the luxury of regressing to childhood; sleeping in, staying up, eating whatever, whenever.

    I’m going back to my mother’s tomorrow for a week of reliving the best bits of my childhood; no worries about the knock in my car’s engine, or whether I will ever make enough to live on once I’m no longer able to work, and trying not to regret that I was once looking forward to a happy, well fed retirement.

  • Happy Christmas then Plankton …I think your idea of trapping Santa comes into play very soon !

    Bis
    Barry xx

  • You won’t tell your own mom about your blogpage?

  • rich2305 says:

    Just in case you still a little miserable about only receiving e-mails from Amazon over Christmas, can I also suggest HMV, Argos and Gap. Have a great Christmas P x

  • MissBates says:

    Feel better, Plankton. And Merry Christmas from a twinkle-less (unless you count the skyline) New York.*

    Recommended recording: “Lonely in New York” by jazz artist Sophie Milman (available on iTunes). No, I am neither Ms. Milman, nor do I know her. Just a moderately catchy, very apt tune for us Big Apple plankton.

  • Steve 2 says:

    Ms P, I think Fi and Geoffrey have the measure of this Christmas. A little time spent in reflection, successes such as they were in 2011 and perhaps options for 2012. Internet included.
    Since subscribing to your blog I have started watching the social dynamic of others in a similar situation to the one you describe finding yourself in. It would seem your observations of the worthwhile males of the species and the brevity of the window of opportunity is absolutely right. Women are more predatory than I ever believed.
    Those that do wait for the right one ot come along have already missed the boat, those that break up existing relationonships are beyond redemption and not to be emulated. However even those that are prepared to wait for the opportunity seem hell bent of ensuring their failure in persuing the wrong men.
    It seems that any half decent male can almost take his pick of a much wider selection than was ever available in our twenties and thirties. We are actually in demand. So, if you do take the time to reflect, establish if you are prepared to compete and for what type of man and how yer are prepared to compete.
    Might sound harsh but the reality is that the dynamic is not as it was ten or more years ago. Some men are simply opting out leaving the fireld somewhat distorted.
    Please have a lovely Christmas and keep up the blog, it really is a pleasure to read.

    • The Plankton says:

      Dear Steve, Thanks for this. I am glad that the situation I describe in this whole blog isn’t a figment of my imagination! And also that you are enjoying it. Happy Christmas. Px

  • Josephine says:

    Unless you have got skin as thick as a rhinos, dont bother with online dating, have been on the phone to a friend of mine, for the past hour, regarding some guy she has been chatting online to for about a month now, they arranged to meet up, but he gave her no date or time, he seems to have vanished into thin air, she’s gutted, I did warn her & told her my experience, but she went ahead anyway.
    Hope you enjoy your stay with your family at your Mothers house.

    • Brigitte says:

      They call those Poofers as in “Poof and their gone”, It is always better to set up a meeting date within a couple of email/text exchanges, that way you do not grow “attached” to someone you haven’t met.

      I did six months on eHarmony. The pickings weren’t very good for a plankton, but I did decide to meet someone in the last week. We emailed each other once and set up the meet. It’s very quick and less personal. It turned out he looked older than in his picture and I wasn’t attracted to him otherwise. We had a half-hour coffee and wished each other luck on finding a mate. No tears or drama with someone I had only emailed once.

    • Jo says:

      Please don’t dismiss internet dating on the basis of yours and your friend’s experiences. That’s too general and too narrow. They are your experiences and not the entire picture in the history of internet dating… I know that successes are outweighed by the non- successes, but I know too many plankton from late 40’s to over 60’s for whom it has worked really happily, to put others off because of one’s own difficult experiences. It’s too general and too unfair. And pasting the whole landscape as a dead loss, wholesale because of this is really limiting. It is not so. Although I appreciate it may have been so IN YOUR EXPERIENCE.
      I know it can be disappointing. Again and again…But it CAN work.
      I was sceptical and put off bigtime but I have been convinced by witnessing too many successes. Truly.
      Just as I would say it may not always work. I would never never say it NEVER works. Not fair to others who are persevering or who are considering trying it.

  • rosie says:

    Rhino hide skin is too thin for online dating, you need tree bark. I’m just listening to a piece on ‘Sex and the Single Girl’ on R4. Hah, like Santa’s going to deliver any of that!

    Have a lovely plankton Christmas everyone.

  • rosie says:

    I was only listening to it half-heartedly, P, and came in towards the end but it’s the 50th anniversary of the book next year so it was kind of hinged around that. I might have proper listen too later as it sounded good from the snippets I picked up on. x

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