Fat Fuck

January 11, 2012 § 76 Comments

To be honest, the Bikram hasn’t quite kicked in.  Still catching up with myself after the school holidays.  Might do a second session on Monday.  That’s the idea.  Or might take up loathsome running again, though I read at the weekend that running doesn’t make you thin, which is true – I know: I ran a marathon and didn’t lose an ounce – so can’t entirely see the point.

I feel fat at the moment.

What the fuck does it matter?

Who’s ever going to know?

Who’s ever going to see?

Or care?

Ever again?



§ 76 Responses to Fat Fuck

  • Jonathan says:

    It matters for ones well being, not just losing wieght. Being healthy in body and mind is more attractive than being slim. Do you only judge the opposite sex by their physiques? I’ve made that mistake myself in the past and bitterly regretted doing so…

  • fi says:

    Cheer up. Buy a sexy corset and a) get a waist and b) feel sexy. And read ‘why we get fat and what to do about it’ by Gary Taubes.

  • ianw says:

    I have been a lurker on this blog for a month or so, being drawn towards it via the weekly article in “The Times”. This is just to say that it is important to bear in mind the wide gulf between a woman’s and a man’s idea of how fat / overweight she is. The vast majority of men are not greatly attracted to stick-thin women with boyish buttocks, washboard stomachs and angular hips and shoulders. So I am sure that through a man’s eyes you look perfectly fine.

    • The Plankton says:

      Dear Ian, Thank you for commenting. I always welcome new commentators, along with the regular ones. A pleasure to hear from you. And you are right. As a size 8, I am probably not really fat but I feel it a bit today having eaten too much over the past few weeks and only having done one session of Bikram! It’s the guilt talking. Best wishes, Plankton

    • Lydia says:

      It’s just like your average teenage girl with nothing but herself, her love life and her weight to be obssessive about. My remedy is double working hours or do a lot more voluntary work and then all these issues like feeling fat at size 8 will pass away.

      In fact size 10 (the perfect 10 as they call it) tends to be a little bit sexier because of the larger breats which go with it so perhaps put on a bit of weight not lose it to attract men and be happy, smile, these are the things men like.

    • june says:

      Probably why ive never had much success with men Ian, but some of us naturally made this way, we dont live on lettuce leaves, i eat loads, but never put on weight, so im naturally thin, so you cant do much about that.

  • That weekend last month that you kept us up to date in seemingly realtime, your description of your chocolates and vodka fest weekend…. See Ms. Plankton, that almost never catches up with you right away; the way that the human metabolism in adults works (both male as well as female), most of the time you don’t notice the effects until a few weeks or even month later….,

    I don’t blame you at all though, I wrote in response to your blog from that day what I do when women dump me, which does actually happen sometimes believe it or not (pizzas, beers and ganja all weekend…)

    – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

    On a brighter note, the health benefits of excercise don’t usually catch up to you immediately either. If you really are undertaking regular wholesome workouts, you probably won’t begin to see the full effects for another few weeks or even months… I’m no expert, but this is both common sense as well as laypersons’ knowledge…

  • Miss J says:

    I know what you mean P…I feel fat and inclined to do fuck all about it as I am convinced nobody will ever want to see me naked ever again. However, on the offchance that I DO get someone interested enough to want to take my clothes off, I think it’s good practice to be prepared at the very least! So, I’ve been counting calories and cutting down on the carbs – keeping the nether regions trimmed because let’s face it, what self respecting man wants to be greeted by a welcome mat halfway down the thighs? I’ve had a bit of a spray tan and am wearing very nice matching underwear! So, even if nobody gets to see it, I know I look good under my winter woolies and that gives me a little more confidence and something of a spring in my step. Isn’t everybody telling us men are attracted to confident women? We’ll see eh?

    • The Plankton says:

      Dear Miss J, Good for you, keeping up standards. They say it’s all about self-respect, don’t they? Anyway, best of luck. Px

      • Miss J says:

        My sympathy levels dipped quite a bit when I discovered your size! I’m a curvy 14 so if you can’t find yourself a victim at size 8 I might as well allow the the ladygarden become unkempt, save my spraytan and lovely underwear money to spend on cat food for the dozen or so cats I’m clearly having to go out and buy very soon! Basically, that’s me fucked!

      • The Plankton says:

        No, it is so NOT! Px

      • EmGee says:

        😀 Miss J!

        I’m a US size 8, and my Sympaticometer dipped too, mainly because I am feeling a bit fat lately myself (could I be a 10 in denial?) – probably those holiday calories catching up as Scott says. Unless you are less than 3 feet tall Plankton, you are not fat!

        Personally though, maybe ‘feeling fat’ seems like a better excuse than something I could actually change instantly -like sprucing up my personality!

    • Kirsty's Boyfriend says:

      I really shouldn’t be lurking here, but your welcome mat comment made me cry with laughter – so can I just assure you that there’s at least one self respecting man who quite likes to be greeted like that.

      Past the knees might be a bit much I suppose !

      • Miss J says:

        You have every right to be lurking here Sir, if only to give us Planktonettes a bit of insight into where we might be going wrong!

        Let me tell you, if there was a male equivalent of this blog where hundreds of men were be-moaning their single status I’d be all over it like a tramp on chips!

  • Patrese says:

    We know, we care….

  • plumgrape says:

    Come On, plankton! Don’t be so down. Take the bull by the horns and come on down to the South Coast today and see me. Have you heard the adage: It’s time to put up or shut up!? Bring the kids.

  • Barry says:

    Me ? x

    Fat Fuckers need Friends too !

  • Chris says:

    Fat Fuck….love it !! That sets the tone for 2012. Just tell it like it is. Great !!!

  • Brigitte says:

    I know how you feel, P., the discouragement and despair. I often ask myself this. But if nobody else is going to see or enjoy the results of my labour at the gym at least I appreciate it whenever I see myself naked or check out an outfit in front of a mirror. Even cheaper clothes hang nicely now that I’m a size 8 (nothing looked good when I was a size 12). At least I will be ready when/if the time comes. Murphy would no doubt wait until I let myself go soft to then present me with a romantic prospect. Then I would be in a panic to trim down again.

    I hate running as well. It’s absolutely horrible. A good brisk walk should burn as many calories (maybe more) and be as good for the heart and better for the joints. Running was meant for barefoot action on soft earth, not hard pounding on man-made surfaces in overpriced footwear. I truly believe running is dangerous, esp. for people who have desk jobs and are generally inactive the rest of the time.

    How about weight training? I have never enjoyed working out, but I do now that I have given up on aerobic exercise (I hate sweating) and taken up weights. The results are fast and visible. And as a big bonus, the new muscle burns calories even while you are sitting the next day. I have been able to maintain my new size for 1.5 years now and it’s been easy.

  • LOTLWC says:

    I haven’t been reading this blog long enough to know if you’re aware that you are referenced in Glee? In Season 2, episode 1 when the Glee club leader reads out negative comments about the group from a school blog…the lines go “…..Glee is a giant ball of suck”

    “we get it Mr Shu…everyone still hates us,so what..so we’re Plankton on the high school food chain….only difference now is that none of us really care….”

    not sure if that makes you feel better or not, but thought it was worth a mention…..

  • MissBates says:

    Yes, yes, of course we should all be thin and groomed and styled and primped at all times because it’s good for the health and self-confidence and, of course, on the 1 in 1,000,000 chance (and the odds grow longer each day) that we might bump into an available, age-appropriate, blahblahblah. I’m exhausted just typing this. Let’s face it, it can be brutally difficult to work up the motivation to get the pedicure, shave the legs, lose those extra inches, etc. when 99.9999999% of the time one is still invisible and ABSOLUTELY NO ONE is going to notice whether one has made the effort or not. And I say this as someone who adores clothes, loves having a weekly manicure, etc. But I think we all have our moments where we wonder, “ugh, why bother?”

  • Elle says:

    Fat? Size 8? What makes those of us who are bigger than a size 8 then? I’m a 10-12 (most of the 12 is on top) and am now feeling VERY fat. Even though I like to keep fit and watch my diet (ok, I had too much chocolate over Christmas like everyone else). On a good day I feel like an amazon, on a bad day I feel a heifer. Well, more of a fat old cow than a heifer now I’ve turned 40.

    I was a size 8 about 10 years ago but a running injury and an intense course of study put paid to that. I could never get back to an 8 again no matter what I did. To be honest I didn’t get chatted up much when I was a size 8. I did better when I put on a bit of weight even though I always wanted to get back to a size 8. Maybe not now, I’d be happy to be a 10.

    In all fairness, when I look at couples around me a good proportion of the women seem to be a size 14 plus. Even with younger couples. Despite this I would NEVER allow myself to get seriously overweight. I’d rather be single and healthy than morbidly obese and coupled up.

    I keep fit first and foremost to be healthy, to feel good, as a system of life insurance because if I’m going to be on my own forever I’d better be healthy and mobile for as long as possible! It’s nice to look good too but as I get older fewer people seem to notice so these days I focus more on the health aspects of fitness.

    Running doesn’t make you thin but it tones up your butt and increases your endurance. If you want to lose weight (Plankton, you don’t unless you’re shorter than three foot) you need to do interval training which is sprinting like hell, having a SHORT break, then sprinting like hell again. It isn’t pleasant. It’s best done under the guidance of a sergeant major type in a bootcamp class.

    I did my first Pilates class last night (can’t train as hard as usual because of an injury) and I feel the benefits but there’s no way a Pilates class will get or keep the weight off me.

    Plankton, if you can stay a size 8 by merely doing Pilates I envy you.

    • Margaux says:

      Hi Elle – Plankton isn’t doing Pilates, she’s started Bikram Yoga.
      Pilates isn’t about weight loss it’s about toning and suppleness, core strength and posture and keeping all the joints working and oiled. I swear by it!

      P – a little worried that you feel fat at a size 8. Bloated, I get, could be water retention – but fat? ( a bit of dysmorphia going on?)

      Sounds like an ‘I hate myself day’. Hey – 2012 is young yet! Anything could happen ! virtual hug x

      • The Plankton says:

        Definitely a bit of body dysmorphia going on today, but not tomorrow, I hope. Guilt at not doing more than one Bikram session so far, after all my big talk about it a few days ago! Hopeless! px

      • Elle says:

        True, but she did say she did Plates before. One Binman yoga session won’t take off a dress size.

        I’m only doing Pilates because a physiotherapist recommended it to strengthen my core after an injury. My usual workout is a bootcamp session or a run.

        We all have days when we feel fat so Plankton is entitled to feel down even though she is a size 8!

  • jamie says:

    Interesting, Plankton, that from various comments in the past I assumed you were a size 16 or thereabouts with a body worth of a Rubens model. Does this indicate you talk yourself down a little?

    I am with IanW – I like something to cuddle. Fitness matters far more to me than body shape.

  • terracotta says:

    Size 8? 8???!!!! Mamma bloody Mia – I could eat you as a canape and wouldnt notice. Unless you are 2″ high of course – in which case, What a Whopper!

  • fi says:

    P. Maybe when you said ‘fat’ you didn’t mean us to take what you said quite so literally?

  • Joules says:

    Size 8 and you think you are fat!!! I haven’t been a size 8 since before I was ten years old – though I was about 5 foot eight at the time. Starting to feel like the elephant in the room.

    All things in proportion darling P. I do not think you are fat.

    Christ I don’t even think I am that fat – certainly less fat than I used to be when I had a significant other and definately more fit since I can now go out and do fitness classes without someone sitting at home and sulking while I am out, not paying attention to them.

    This may be your liver talking after a serious round of Christmas parties.

  • june says:

    Honestly folks women love thin women, men dont really, they dont, take it from me, a naturally thin women, they really dont. Women oh and ah o ver how slim you are and how great you look in clothes and can still wear a bikini even at your advanced age , but men they like a a bit of flesh. But id rather be slim and fit, as i am, cause itsimpossible for me to put on weight,and im happy being me. I do hate how people think it ok to say arent you small,they wouldnt dream if saying to someone arent you fat! . Obesity is a killer, as we know so many problems stem from it, but be fair being a size 14 or 12 isnt obese so be happy with what you are, cause truly life as a size 6 is not a passport to success with men.

    • Elle says:

      June, go to Paris! Apparently French men like very slim elegant women more than athletic or “curvy” women. Kate Moss is very popular over there. They appreciate older women in France as well. There’s a French chain called Agnès b. which has lovely clothes but they’re in tiny sizes! Perfect for somebody who’s a size 6.

  • Jo says:

    I try to keep relatively fit. Eat – mostly – healthily. Try not to consume too much lovely wine. (Fail). At times, dress well. Wear nice undies. (Except on comfy big pants days). Put some slap on and saunter off into the world for…myself. Because on the days that I do that it makes ME feel good. If someone else gets to see it then that’s a bonus. But I find doing it for lil ole me makes me feel good. Always a good thing. Whatever the reason. Don’t do it just for a bloke’s sake. What a waste.
    As that annoying ad says….Do it ‘because you’re worth it’.
    I know. Pass the sick bag. But there’s truth in it.

  • Jo says:

    Must say. I’ve never known anyone to object to others saying ‘aren’t you looking small/thin or whatever. Most women would never regard that as an insult, akin to ‘aren’t you fat’?
    In fact, most women I know, when – if – faced with ‘I think you’re looking a bit thin’ feel a secret frisson of pleasure.
    Completely different to if they said ‘I think you’re looking fat?!
    Just my view. But hey ho.

    • june says:

      Well what they normally say Jo is aren t you little,not arent you slim i quite like that. New years eve another slim friend, who is taller than me i and i wore similar style dresses, which could really only be worn by a slim women and got many compliments from women i hasen to add, not men. I like being slim yes ill admit it, cause i can more or less eat what i like and not put on weight, my diet is pretty healthy anyway but i can induldge sometimes without worrying. But contrary to what people think buying clothes isnt that easy, being a size 6, there is normally only one item in that size available, some small belts are huge for me, and i take size 2 in shoes, but kids ballet pumps in John Lewis are lovely and cheap and i bought some lovely tan leather childrens boots this winter, less than half the cost of adults, and also i can buy 12 years old jeans!, so it has its good side.

      I see friends who are overweight finding as they get older it is affecting their health, so i feel im fortunate in that respect, small bones do mean risk of osteoporis which killed my mum, but im aware of it and have bone scans, obesity has many more health risks.

  • tvmunson says:


    I know you Brits despise Yankee “rah rah” so I’ll try not to sound too bubbly (can’t believe I wrote that; didn’t realize British androgyny was contagious). Go ahead and feel fat-but act. The movement (any kind) will kick in endomorphins-which you need. The actual doing will be an outward manifestation of your resolve-which you also need. Discipline-discipline is only necessary until something becomes a habit. Force yourself to this long enough and it will. I first jogged in the fall of 1980-and continue to this day. (Jogging, not running-very slow). I have hated it every damn time-but years ago my body/mind/spirit gave up, realized I was going to do it be damned! and I just do.No I haven’t lost weight. So what I’m healthy. Moderate exercise is better than therapy and/or drugs for mood management, and I’m bipolar.

    And size 8-I’m a guy but even I know you are not starting from ground zero! I don”t know what your target is but it can’t be far off from there! Weight loss (really, fat loss;I work out with women trainers whose weight is actually high for their height but their fat to muscle ratio is low-and it shows) has more to do with what you eat. Sorry.You need to run, really run, several miles to burn the calories in a single candy bar or small bag of chips.But exercise is a proactive, outward manifestation of resolve.

    If you are serious, you must count every calorie you eat. Sine qua non.Do not restrict, merely count. You must recognize you are in a calorie dense environment and every one is conspiring against you. Labels deceive; a small bag of chips is 2 servings-bull. That is the way it is. The muffins people by at Starbucks et al-often 800 calories. A woman probably needs around 1500 calories to maintain her weight-so that’s over half.

    Like I said difficult-but women in America are often size 16 before they make a commitment. I live in a small state; the obesity in the rural areas is, literally, horrific. People cannot wear clothes; they must improvise. men wear a sort of overall, and women wear what sort of looks like a modified tent. You don’t see this in the metro areas much which is what I’m sure your tv shows about here show.

    So chin up pip pip and all that.One thing I did years ago is wen I slacked off, rather than making it up through more workout, I punished myself by only allowing myself a limited workout until I earned the right to workout more.Instead of feeling guilty and punishing myself with more exercise, I punished myself with LESS.It’s counter-intuitive, yet it worked-but I’m a simple fellow.

    Good on ya’ for trying, and more for being so honest.

    • The Plankton says:

      Thank you. Points taken! Px

    • zoe says:

      Good of you tvmunson to be taking the time to give P some heartfelt, considered advice and to commend her for her “honesty”. But this is not P being “honest”, it’s P being complicated, rhetorical and engaging in a form of ritual that only women really understand. Size 8 is an American size 6. It is small. This is not “oh, you’re not fat” meaning “I know you’re a bit fat, but don’t worry about it too much”. This is small small. Conventionally, in the UK, an ideal size for a woman is size 10-12. Women on average are size 16. P does not need advice on how to lose calories. Apologies, tvmunson. It’s a girl thing.

      • tvmunson says:

        Damn! Here I was trying my best to look sophisticated and informed (even asked my wife about the size 8 thing) and, yet again, I am defeated by the “deflective discourse” women engage in of which “sizes” is one of the intricate and complex battles. I have a 34″ waist; yeah, the Koreans get it wrong, but the point is it’s supposed to be 34″, here, Great Britain, Norway-everywhere. The size thing-8, 6, 4-all sorts of intrigue (American, England); it all makes sense.Thank you for pointing this out as I was about to come here with yet more of the same. And Ms. P it did not go unnoticed that rather than disabuse me you’re bland riposte appears to have been inspired by a desire to see me continue to the amusement of the ladies here (does seem to be a lot more gals than guys).

        BTW by “deflective discourse” I mean, for example, when we’re going out and my wife says “are you wearing that shirt?” which is not a question but a command to take it off immediately so she can choose another. I feel like telling her “No, dear, this shirt and I have had a ‘thing’ for quite some time now but she’s no longer willing to stay in that ‘arrangement’ so we both have come to tell you-I want a divorce.”That of course would only delay my return to the game, the last few minutes of enjoyment I’ll have until I’m dragged to some other insufferable event I couldn’t wrangle out of.

      • MissM says:

        It is okay Tvmunson, the sizing of women’s clothing is a complete mystery to almost all men, which is the only real reason I made my comment below. I’ve spent a fair bit of time on American sites, I’ve seen this happen before, so I just knew which end of the stick you had regarding dress sizes. The lack of information was not your fault but the result of an unnecessarily complicated system. Look at it this way, you are now in possession of more knowledge of the subject than you had before.

        In all honesty I was actually most amused by your paragraph on you and your ‘arrangement’ with that unsuitable shirt.

    • Elle says:

      American sizes are different to English sizes. At UK size 8 Plankton is actually very slim. Her American equivalent would be size 4. I don’t think that many women on this blog are overweight, I’m one of the bigger people here at a UK 10-12 (US 6-8) and I’m fit.

      A UK 8 is a US 4, a UK 10 is a US 6, a UK 12 is a US 8, a UK 14 is a US 10 and a UK 16 is a US 12. A US 16 would be equal to a UK 20 which is unhealthy!

      You’re right about exercise – it’s a great mood booster and can be (no exaggeration) a life saver for some people.

      An Irish singer Sinead O’Connor went off bipolar medication a few months ago because her weight had ballooned. She is now much slimmer and back to her artistic self!

      • tvmunson says:

        I should have read all of these at once. It’s as if I climb off one whipping post to another. I must be losing my mind-dress sizes Munson! How could I have been so stupid?

        Yes, bipolar medication, and most especially lithium,leads to weight gain. It makes you lethargic, increases your appetite, causes cravings for fatty, sugary food while lowering your resistance as you are in a sort of fog, slows your metabolism-it’s about the worst thing from that standpoint. I moderate my depression with exercise, and as I rarely go manic as I age it isn’t much of a problem although I am prepared with a supply of powerful medications to address and have immediate access to professional help. I know the signs.

    • MissM says:

      Just going to point out here that US and Uk clothing sizes are not the same. Size 8 in the UK is a size 6 in the US, so Tvmunson you may need to adjust your image of our dear Plankton in Chief to something a little thinner than you are imagining now. Size 16 in the UK is in fact the most common of the sizes, the US conversion would be to a size 14. Size 8 is well below average and the smallest size that is commonly found and as far as I can tell the existence of size 6 is only a recent thing, and I must say I have yet to even see an item labelled thus. Mind you manufacturers are now doing sneaky a thing called vanity sizing where the label says 8 but the item is sized for a 10, just so women will purchase items from the brand that gives them a more flattering size label.

      Anyway you can see that although our dear P is feeling fat she is actually not so at all given that she wears such a small clothing size.

      • MissM says:

        Turns out Elle has even better number conversions, Plankton in Chief is even thinner again.

      • tvmunson says:

        Yes, I understand fully now. And here I came charging in like The Lone Ranger to the “William Tell Overture” with all this advice, which to the readership provoked either a mocking response or, worse, a condescending “poor dear’ as to my obvious misapprehension of the situation.SIZE 4! SHE’S A SIZE 4 (AMERICAN)! IT SOUNDS LIKE IT’S CLOSER TO AN AMERICAN SIZE 2 IF IT’S AS RARE AS MISS M STATES! (My wife works clothing, retail, for both sexes, but I dare not ever buy her clothes for reasons obvious to the readership).

  • rosie says:

    Oh, come on peeps! Size 8, 10, 12 = fat? It’s starting to sound a bit like being backstage at a catwalk show. I’m a 12/14. Does that mean I should be ringing up the Guinness Book of Records?

    P, I had images of you being the size of a pre weight-loss Nigella. Now she was BIG!

    • Elle says:

      Nigella may have been BIG before she lost the weight, but men still drooled over her!

    • EmGee says:

      I have no idea what a Nigella is, and do not feel inclined to find out. Just another in a long line of media attention whores. Please don’t enlighten me.

      Rosie, if you are a UK 12/14, then you are about my size US 8, which is considered ‘average’ (but I think the reality is most women anymore are much heavier) but a US 14 is borderline overweight here, on an average proportioned woman anyway.

  • tvmunson says:

    Ms. P

    The readership has disabused me. I had pictured an American 8. You are a 4. (Say fool Munson say fool!). I made myself go back and read my post, cringing at ever word.But I’ll tread more carefully in the future.

  • tvmunson says:

    Misread-cringe for change. So much for treading carefully.

    • zoe says:

      You are funny tvmunson. You wax lyrical on the tragedy of your withering tendrils. Yet the more I hear from you the less I am inclined to believe you.

      • tvmunson says:

        I never said it’s a tragedy-I said it’s a phenomenon;that’s the overeading that so often occurs here and elsewhere. People read in an implication that is not there. But you are sweet zoe-you want the curmudgeon to be, in the end, a truly warm hearted, glowing, “sweet” (twice in one post-editor!) man who is only testing others with his apparent meanness as a manner of testin them, and thus we can all sing “Cumbayah” (if I ever find the author of that I shall crucify him if I can get to the front of the long line ahead of me already doing so) as the credits roll over our Hallmark universe, a universe that is comforting,accepting and affirming. But the universe is not-it is violent and hostile and the only reason we do not know this is because a merciful God has made our lives short enough that we do not experience it up close and personal although His mercy does not quite extend to sparing us the geological horrors of this very planet, the so-called “Acts of God” which is a short hand description for the myriad forms of slaughter which He has amply provided. No, writing on a blog to people one has never seen, and never will, is not evidence of “tendrils”. It is rather evidence of one who has not entirely walked his talk. My wife still maintains a social schedule for us.I will be 60 in 5 months; in excellent shape (why would I lie-who cares?); I am not aged.The withering, palpable and manifest, continues. I would be writing here even if I had arrived at my ultimate (imagined) destiny-a room the size of a overlarge cell, bed, tv with expanded cable, books, computer, and a lock-door from a bank vault, I inside, side, and outside, at the foot of that door, would be a doormat inscribed, in Latin “FUCK OFF-YES YOU!” I’ll never be silent; that doesn’t mean I’ll be Jimmy Stewart (BTW I have never seen “It’s a Wonderful Life” but trust me had I been the attorney for that bank I’d have had him arrested for breach of fiduciary duty (I know enough about it-we talk about it all the time in this real esate meltdown) , sued him civilly, and have him selling his children’s body parts on Ebay to pay my client back.. And he’d be lucky that it was Christmas and thus he caught me in a good mood).

      • tvmunson says:

        Meant know about that treacly mauldlin movie; I am an attorney, and not a partiicularly “nice” one.

      • zoe says:

        Overreading? Never trust a Brit, especially when they start using uncharacteristic words like “tragedy”. But, as the bitch with irony is that it’s always a matter of having your cake and eating it, I will say this.You still imagine yourself online in your isolation cell with the unwelcome mat, don’t you? And, unless you’re equally happy to be linked up to some Turing machine, those are your tendrils, tvmunson.

      • tvmunson says:

        I don’t know what a Turing machine is. And your remarks are too subtle by half: I am American, and male, which means ideas must be introduced to me with a 2 x 4. But I like corresponding with you even if I don’t get all the meaning. It’s amazing how even in the type written word your British comes out. British women are delightful and I love them.Don’t like British men; that is not to say I don’t respect them. Once he gains a proper perspective on the situation (this takes some time), the British man is your most formidable adversary. He’s “all in”, to the end. The German thinks he is (all in, that is), the Russian knows he is, but the Brit neither thinks nor knows, he just IS. We are talking here of course in terms of relative manliness so there is no need to mention the Italian or French.

        Thank you for making my morning with a touch of grace.

  • paolo says:

    I think I speak for a lot men here when I say: If you are a UK size 8, the only weight problem you may have is that you don’t weigh enough. (Or maybe that’s just the Italian in me; not sure British men would agree.)

    • The Plankton says:

      If so, I love you Italians! Px

    • Elle says:

      Really? If that’s the case why do Armani, D&G, Miu Miu, Cavalli, Maxmara and other Italian designers make clothes for stick insects? Whenever I visit Italy I notice that the women are very slim so am I missing something?

      I can’t generalise because not all men like their women the same size. It’s women, not men, who set the “norm” weight for themselves. Men could beg for curvier women night and day but if the fashion is for skinny women will want to be skinny no matter what.

      • paolo says:


        You asked, “Why do Armani, D&G, Miu Miu, Cavalli, Maxmara and other Italian designers make clothes for stick insects?”

        The answer is well-known: Because the fashion world is ruled by middle-aged women and gay men. If heterosexual men were running it, there wouldn’t be any starving women with the bodies of 14 year-old boys walking up and down those runways. Instead there would be a non-stop parade of jiggle and bounce, with blouses and shirts straining against flesh. Like most straight men, I’ll take a woman who is ten pounds overweight over one who is ten pounds underweight any time.

      • tvmunson says:

        Once the topic gets to clothes, I get hives. Or should. See previous.

  • maria says:

    I don’t know what size I am, by British standards, that is. I’m 1,64 m tall and weigh 64 kg and even though I’m now about 8 kg heavier than in my 20’s, men have always seemed to appreciate my shape, shame though that I have a face like a bag of spanners (don’t know exactly what this means, but I know it’s not nice).
    Anyway, we all have fat days, but I think men appreciate the whole package and don’t focus on weight as obsessively as we do.
    P, I’m sure you look lovely, whatever your size.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

What’s this?

You are currently reading Fat Fuck at The Plankton.


%d bloggers like this: