A (Male) Guest Blogger Writes…
February 2, 2012 § 51 Comments
Below is a guest blog from one of our male commentators:-
Who am I? A 40 something, divorced professional bloke,living in one of the UK’s major cities.(OK, London!). Since P started her blog, I began a relationship, but am now single again. Am contemplating plunging back into dating and the rollercoaster that it represents.
However for the first time, I’m actually feeling quite happy being single( been two years since my last serious relationship) In a strange way, I think that will make me more relaxed when I do “date” again.
The following is just a combination of my thoughts/observations.. A lot of them do chime with my fellow forty something friends , as we’ve discussed quite a few of the subjects at some length at one time or other.
We (men) are pretty straightforward. a lot of the games/nuances will often be lost on us.
Not too keen on being chased. Maybe its the hunter./gatherer thing? Very subtle chasing:Yes. Any more is a turn-off.
Very assertive /high powered women put a lot of men off. Sorry.
We might stare at twentysomethings in the pub or wherever, but only one of my circle of 40 something friends is within someone less than 5 years younger.
Very beautiful women are seen as unattainable. And the unwanted attention and jealousy that would come with dating one (even if we could!) would be a nightmare Far better the woman “next door”
We are not obsessed about your weight. Far from it. We love the fact you’re a 12/14. We all love curves! Twiggy/Kate Moss is NOT the ideal of any bloke I’ve met.
In a social setting,a laughing/smiling women will be approached .Those playing it cool (however attractive) won’t.
A simple reply to a thoughtful, well written email from someone on a website is much kinder approach than ignoring . After all, by the laws of Karma – what goes around , comes around. This doesn’t apply if the woman has stated their desirable age range to be 25-35 and you’re 55!
Don’t lie about your age. Very embarrassing for both parties when the the truth come out.
Don’t dive into bed before at least the sixth date – you find that you then get into all the sexual aspects without really getting to know someone first. All my best relationships have come when I’ve waited. This is advice that I often don’t follow – and guess what, things don’t work out.
As P said in a blog , in the early stage of a relationship , things can wither on the vine pretty quickly.Criticising someone in the early stages ain’t a good idea. That can come later!
Offering to pay on first date is a nice touch – although we should be paying IMO. After four dates and we’re still paying for everything , our enthusiasm will wane.
I’d like to try and answer any points arising….so fire away!