Brain Freeze

February 4, 2012 § 26 Comments

This is one of those days when my mind has gone blank and I am going to let the side down somewhat.

I went out early this morning and my fingers were so cold I felt that they were burning, if that makes any sense.

The cold has surely shriveled my thought-processes.  It must be the thing to blame.  I hope it is.

My only plankton thought for the day is that I have spotted two very different plankton in the paper just now.  First, Mrs Huhne, about whom I am sure many of us have thoughts.  And the second, Michelle Young – the ex-wife of multimillionaire fixer, Scot Young – who is about to win Britain’s biggest divorce payout, apparently.

The fact is, I don’t have a clue if either of them are actually plankton, but it suits my lack of inspiration today to presume that they both are.  In which case, I can simply observe that we are a species that comes in an infinite variety of forms.

I don’t know – frozen brain – but I think that fact is to be celebrated.


§ 26 Responses to Brain Freeze

  • AnonW says:

    My late wife was barrister, who dealt with divorce and from what she has said of her cases and what I’ve picked up from other lawyers and judges, these two women might do all right, as they may have that feature that will make them attractive to a lot of men; money. The women who seem to suffer most from divorces are the ones, who were probably the leader of the couple and took most of the important decisions. Often the man didn’t like this and ran off with the first bit of young skirt, who dropped her knickers for him. In my wife’s many stories, he’ll be back in court, when that younger piece needs replacing.

    The Huhne case is the unusual one in that he ran off with a bi-sexual lady. I suspect that Mrs. Huhne was extremely bitter about everything, as she dropped him in the doo-dah from a great height, and hadn’t expected to suffer the collateral damage, which will ruin her as well. For someone, who is obviously very intelligent, she has made a big mistake of not getting good legal advice before telling the police of the doings on the M11.

    The Young case is very reminicient of a case my wife had about 10 years ago. The family had two £100,000 cars, lived in a multi-million pound house, with the two children at private schools. What the husband did wasn’t really known, but my wife believed he was something like the foot-soldier for an East European arms dealer. He’d run off with a new piece of skirt and the wife was now in local authority housing. What did the wife get in the end? Nothing. My wife even got a threatening phone call from the husband. But she’d had a few of those after acrimosive divorces.

    I think these two cases show, that people should be careful, who they choose as a partner.

  • Sarah says:

    Best stay in, snug as a bug in the warm, P.

    For anyone with a Kindle and forced to snuggle up on the sofa in a Slanket with a cat, there’s a website that gives an hourly update on free books on Amazon:

    I think that rich plankton only stay plankton if that is what they want. When you’ve got money you’ve got choice.

  • EmGee says:

    “When you’ve got money you’ve got choice.”

    True, but it’s the internet dating conundrum all over again – most men just wanting you for one thing, and slogging through all those to find one who may be true. Or, like the rich woman in the film “Priceless”, resign yourself to picking up and supporting a boy toy for as long as it lasts, and pick up another when he inevitably leaves you for someone younger, richer, prettier, etc…

    I am not familiar with either woman mentioned. Had to look them up online, me being from the US.

  • AnonW says:

    Some the books are very much male subjects.

  • anniebub says:

    Dear P, I have lit all the fires in the house, that is three, and it is still freezing in my house, and the snow is falling outside. Even the old cat who lives in the stables has come in to try to keep warm. I think you are on to something with the line of enquiry with your male friends. It sounds infinitely more full of possibilities. Great for the ego to know you were admired and swooned over from afar in your youth, and I am sure he is still inwardly swooning…

    • The Plankton says:

      I am not sure he is, anniebub, but nice of you to say so. A “warm, fuzzy feeling” as Reception children are taught to recognise. Keep those fires burning, in all senses! All Best wishes, Px

  • Omega_Dork says:

    Just curious as to whether you have made photos of yourself available online so we can see just how Planktony you are…

    • MissM says:

      I would guess that in order to maintain some level of privacy the answer to that would be ‘no’, and fair enough too. Generic plankton out there seem to come in every conceivable level of attractiveness, so pick any one of them you like and imagine our P as being like that.

      I hope were were not suggesting all plankton must fall into the category of visually unpleasing?

      • AnonW says:

        I have my own vision of P. but then if you’ve lived with a lady for forty years, as I did with my late wife, you may have a preference for some parts of the look. She was a natural dark blonde, but I think P isn’t in my mind, for some reason. She’s not a redhead though.

      • The Plankton says:

        I am enjoying this speculation. x

      • Omega_Dork says:

        Actually, the defnition of Plankton according to “The Plankton” is someone physically unattractive, or at least, with so little attractiveness as to be invisible to members of the opposite sex. Yet, some of the things she writes seem to contradict this self-description of hers.

      • The Plankton says:

        I don’t think I have ever defined a plankton as physically unattractive, have I? No, unless I am going mad, this is absolutely not the definition! Plankton are women of a certain age in want of a man. I never said “unattractive”. Or attractive, for that matter. We are all sorts, from the beautiful to the unattractive, just like any group of people. But wherever any of us may lie on that spectrum, a great many of us probably FEEL unattractive, I guess. I know I do, a lot of the time. Doesn’t mean we conclusively are. And having said that, I am sure there are a few who feel far from unattractive, but are still plankton, puzzlingly.

      • MissM says:

        I think there is a difference between someone who is physically unattractive and those who are treated as though they are physically unattractive despite that not being the case. I suggest the point P was trying to make was that single women over a certain age become invisible, or unattractive to members of the opposite sex, for reasons other than physical appearance alone.

        Then again, as a plankton myself I can concede that perhaps we have got it wrong and it doesn’t matter if you are Elle McPherson (who amazingly enough is also single), the simple fact that is that simply hitting 35, 40 or whatever the magical age might be, is enough to instantly transform women into the physically horrendous.

    • The Plankton says:

      As yet, I am afraid not, but I suppose I shall have to succumb to that soon.

    • Jo says:

      Sorry, but that’s a bit of a daft question. We wouldn’t know what P looked like anyway! She’s hardly likely to describe herself as ‘P’!
      So she can go right ahead. If she wants to. In privacy.

  • rosie says:

    Not connected to this post but I just thought I’d post this cautionary tale about dating agencies in case anyone’s thinking of signing up to one. Such sharks:–All-I-got-IT-worker-anorak-called-Terry.html

    • EmGee says:

      A scam that feeds off people’s insecurities and magical thinking, big surprise. Glad to see at least, that these people have been exposed.

    • The Plankton says:

      Horrendous story, but bears out what I have always thought… that these “upmarket” dating agencies don’t have any men on their books and the ones they do have, they have begged to join with goodness knows what inducements…

      • Jo says:

        ‘Bespoke dating agency’? £690 to join and £90 per month? With lots of glossy photos of people having a good time? And no checking if they’re a member of any reputable body?!

  • toyman says:

    Today I crossed over……….
    Hawaii five O time has arrived………..
    Its easier than ever to get female company, sorry Plankton……..
    It is my observation most men have no interest in women, they seem to prefer plastic dolls, video games and football………
    I cannot even begin to proffer an explanation……..
    My two daughter half my age also have no steady boyfriends, and my three sons beat them off with sticks they have so many………..
    Yet I have no Grandchildren, which saddens me………’
    Woe is me Plankton…….
    Woe is me…………

  • Lydia says:

    Chris Huhne’s wife like many of us has her own lucrative career, is clever and sensible and slim. She will be fine once she’s got over him. She wil also have the support of her children and she doesn’t need him for money.

    The other lady Young is a different kettle of fish, so idle she has chosen to live on benefits rather than work like the rest of us. She has no career. The judge suspects her husband has money stashed away as he has chosen not to answer court questions and she may or may not get something but she could certainily seek employment as might her husband. I suspect he is relying on “friends” so not a burden on hard working single mother tax payers like I am but she is someone we are all supporting through our taxes. I hope she’s spending the money wisely.

    Also I agree that when you have money you have choice. I’ve worked all day (Sunday) and I’m lucky to have the work and I have obligations to support all the children. Men do prefer women who are not after them as a meal ticket.

    • AnonW says:

      In a way after reading about the case and discussing it with a judge friend, I have this feeling that Chris Huhne and Michelle Young might deserve each other. Certainly as a man, even if Mrs. Young was the last single woman left, I wouldn’t touch her with the proverbial bargepole. The judge I spoke to, who is very much a lady, wouldn’t touch Mr. Huhne. Not that she needs too!

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