Hail the Match-Makers of This World!
February 5, 2012 § 60 Comments
Lunch with a friend today who told me that she had a friend in her forties who had been match-made. This friend of hers had met the match-maker’s candidate and they had fallen madly in love with each other and married a year later. So grateful was the match-made new wife that she immediately set about doing the generous thing for a single girlfriend of hers.
So it was, in turn, the single girlfriend fell madly in love and has since got married to the man with whom she was sent on a blind date by the original match-made wife who said to her, “Someone did it for me, I have done it for you, and now you have to do it for somebody else.”
I don’t know this visionary woman from Adam but I know that I like her. So grateful was she to have been match-made successfully that she felt it was her duty to make the effort for someone else. I don’t know if the someone else has taken up her challenge, but the spirit, though rare – perhaps because it is so rare – is absolutely spot on.
I know I have gone on about match-making – or the total lack of it – before. Almost no one goes in for it because they are married and all right, Jack, and can’t think beyond their own [sic] be-matrimoaned noses; because – fair enough – they’d love to but they don’t know a single single man anywhere but for a nutter or a SFAR; because they haven’t got the energy or imagination to think how life might be for a plankton, save for an inward, There but for the grace of God; because they say they will match-make you with so-and-so and genuinely intend to but somehow never get round to it before it’s too late (ie. he’s hooked up in a flash with somebody else more seasoned who got in there double-quick); or because they are scared that the two candidates will hate each other on sight. I hadn’t thought of this last one before. This is what my friend at lunch suggested may be a reason people are so slow to bring two friends together. I am sure she is right but I say to that general notion, Piffle!
I don’t care if I do hate someone on sight – not that I have ever hated anyone and am unlikely to start doing so now – but the chance to meet anyone would be a fine thing indeed. It is extremely unusual for me to dislike someone, let alone hate them, and even less so a friend of a friend. That doesn’t mean I love everyone I ever meet, but the chances are that friends of friends are nice, on the whole. There are of course exceptions, but it is improbable that I would take against a friend’s friend so much that I couldn’t endure a single dinner with him.
No, quite the opposite. I’d be DELIGHTED to be sent on a blind date, or to be introduced to some nice man at kitchen supper, or whatever type of meeting the match-maker might be inspired to arrange. Anything! And if we didn’t fall madly in love with each other on sight, so what? Someone would have made the effort on our behalf (warm, fuzzy feeling from that fact alone); this friend of a friend and I probably would almost certainly pass a perfectly pleasant evening or at least one that wasn’t excruciating. And even if in the most unlilkely event that it was truly awful – then it could be put down to experience and when a better blind date happened in the future (hey ho!), one might appreciate it’s success all the more! I mean, how bad can a meeting with a friend of a friend be?
I’d just love it if my friends could bring it on, the match-making, even if it never worked. The thought that someone out there was gunning for me would be good enough for me. The feeling that one is not all alone in the quest (and the internet quest, not that I am knocking it, can be a very lonely one indeed; even its greatest champions would have to concede I am right about that).
Hooray for those rarities, the match-makers of this world! Those people in our lives who really care and are on our side not just lip-service-ably, but properly pro-actively.
My lunch friend’s friend sounds like a paragon; almost as wonderful as Janey herself.
Plankton need more of the likes of Janey and the match-making paragon of whom I heard today because, in this deep, dark, watery world of ours, the light so rarely shines.