Hope for Us All

February 17, 2012 § 31 Comments

I have just heard my uncle is getting married.  Wedding in a few weeks.  He is about to be 90.  His bride, who has never been married, is in her seventies, and they have been together for twenty years or so but just decided to tie the knot.

Well, there’s something positive.

Hope for us all.

§ 31 Responses to Hope for Us All

  • Twinkletoes says:

    Ah bless! Hope indeed.

    I don’t mean to sound flippant, but perhaps we could all be bridesmaids and have a scrum to catch the bouquet? 🙂

  • Barry says:

    Rejoice! (M.T.) xx

  • Ali says:

    Hi P,

    I’m a long time lurker, and just wanted to step out from behind the internet for a moment. I enjoy reading your blog and really feel it’s leading somewhere, can’t wait to read all about your on-line dates, and read about you being in a happy place some day soon.

    I just wanted to tell you that I took your comments on board last night. I was at a friend’s house, she’s a mother to a small child and her husband is away at sea, and I made her a cup of tea while she was putting the little one to bed. I think she really appreciated it. I know it’s not much, but I just wanted you to know that this blog is a two way thing.

    • The Plankton says:

      Dear Ali, Thank you so much for bothering to a) show it to your friend and b) pass on what she thought about it to me. Much appreciated. Pxx

      • RS says:

        With all apologies P but I’m not sure you read Ali’s comment as your reply, while gracious, seems to miss what she actually said. She hadn’t passed along the column or contents but had made her friend a (much appreciated, I’m sure) cup of tea as per a previous blog post. 🙂

      • The Plankton says:

        Oops, sorry about that. xx

  • Lydia says:

    Reminds me of Michael Winner’s recent wedding too. They often settle down when they decide they will stop sleeping around or inheritance tax looms or perhaps the fancy just takes them. I wonder if the marriage can be consummated. If not it could be annulled.

  • Elle says:

    P, I am delighted for them both. If they met 20 years ago and the bride is in her 70s then she would have been in her 50s and he around 70 when they met. I hope they enjoy their married time together just as much as they have enjoyed the last 20 years.

    There are lessons in this for us:

    1) It’s never too late to get married

    2) Women CAN meet men in middle age

    3) Women should be open to dating men outside the age gap they might consider acceptable, say a man 12 or 15 years older instead of 5 or 7 years older.

    • The Plankton says:

      All very true, Elle. Thank you. xx

    • June says:

      But Elle what if they just dont want to meet men 15 years older, i cant imagine being with a man of 80, im sorry it might suit some it wouldnt me. Id prefer someone a few yrs younger and so i feel would many women of my age, most of ,my friends are younger than me and i cant imagine a much older man fitting in to my life . Men of my age seem too old, let alone 15 years, older and i would imagine their attitudes to women would be quite old fashioned too. Most 80 year old mens are. I do have to say my dear dad who died 2 years ago and would have been 100 this year if he had lived, did have a very modern attitude to women but he was the exception. No i really dont think i could even consider it, I dont want to become a nurse maid, my dad didnt expect it of me and i dont want it.

  • EmGee says:

    I think it’s delightful that they are finally tying the knot, even if it’s for some legal reason, financial or visitation rights, etc. it isn’t an act to be taken lightly no matter what one’s age.

  • rosie says:

    I’ve never fancied older men, which I think is one of the reasons (another is that I’m terrified of old age to what is probably an unhealthy extent) I’ve been single for so long. I like to think I’d still have it, whatever ‘it’ is, in the eyes of the average 63-year-old (I’m 48) but, yikes, I just can’t go there. That’s nearly as old as my dad!

    • MissM says:

      Agreed, there is just something about a man who is closer to my father’s age than he is to mine that turns me completely off. I don’t care if he is penniless, overweight, and I actually quite like a nicely groomed beard, but if he is almost from the previous generation, I simply cannot find him attractive.

      • Dickie Hart says:

        As one of those older men, sadly I have to agree with both you and Rosie, not so much from not fancying older women but from us all having our own turn offs. Mine is women wearing jewellery – illogical but there it is.

        I also suspect a starting age gap is more significant the older you get, so a 25 year old and a 35/40 year old matters less than a 48 – 58/63 difference. If theres a gap when you are younger then a mutual history can bridge the problems in later life. However, take pity on us poor old’uns who are actually 25 year olds, trapped in and peering out of a sixty year old’s body trying not to be dirty old men, it will come to you one day. At the moment you are lucky because 40 odd year old women can still be sexually attractive to young men as well as older men, but there is a tipping point beyond which young men wont go.

        Then again, I’m 70 and my wife is 25. Mind you I did lie about my age……….I told her I was 90 !

  • MsHaversham to be says:

    Hey there’s something to be said for the ‘if I don’t catch them the first time round I may catch them on the second’ attitude. That’s certainly what I’m clinging to.

  • Dawn says:

    Bless their hearts!

    A 20 year age gap is not my cup of tea, regardless of the ages (or who is the older), but if it works for them, more power to them.

    • Lydia says:

      It’s worth it if you stand to inherit. It’s part of the reason young women marry old men who are rich. You eitehr wait until he dies or have a couple of children and then you get a good 50./50 share of the wealth on an early divorce whilst you’re still in your 30s and can marry again. Someone I know who advises Russians was saying a lot of the Russian women over here deliberately do that. It’s important to have the chidlren because otherwise it could just be a “short marriage” and you don’t get as much on divorce.

  • rosie says:

    Dickie Hart, unless you’re being tongue in cheek, I rest my case.

    • Dickie Hart says:

      Rosie, oh Rosie – what’s the likelihood of it being anywhere else but my cheek 🙂

    • June says:

      Agree Rosie

      Dear god as a youthful 64 year old woman i dont blame you not wanting a man of that age,i dont either! . Most look very much older than many women of that age, act it, dress it, and have a much older attitude to life. As i said my own much older father had a much more youthful and modern attitude to woman than many men of my age. I was looking the other day at a picture of some man who was in a 60s pop group cant remember which one, he was gorgeous then, now he looks like a different person, picked up paper next day and there was the lovely Twiggy , 62 and still looking lovely, think that sums it up, and im pretty sure shes had nothing “done”.

      • Dickie Hart says:

        So June, can we take it there will be no more ageist complaints about men always going for younger women?

        After all – what’s good for the gander should be good for the goose.

  • Margaux says:

    Dickie Hart – yes, that chimed with me – it’s always a shock to look in the mirror ( no matter how much effort I put in to scrubbing up well) and remember my age when in my head I think I am still 35.

    • June says:

      Well as i havent m et you Marguax and i dont know how old you are, i cant comment, but i bet you are in a damm site better condition and look considerably younger than most men of your age. Where the idea that men wear better than women comes from i dont know, Yes there may be the odd exception but on the whole women wear much better.

      That Dickie is why i fail to understand why men always want younger women, because most of them looks years older than what they actually are.I am sorry if you dont like that remark but it is true. Once men hit 60 , i admit there is the odd exception, they rapidly seem to age much quicker than women, i see you ignored my remark about Twiggy, who looks a hell of a lot better than many of her male contemporaries from the 60s. I agree we females do have the advantage of make up,hair colorants etc, but keeping slim and fit is easy enough, as are regular dentist visits,moisturising,not dressing in suits ,collars and ties etc and having a young attitude to life, things i have to say are sadly lacking in many men of my own age, often the ones that do all this, already have partners..

      • Dickie Hart says:

        I ignored your remark about Twiggy, June, because it was a rather pointless one. You name one attractive ( in your opinion) woman in her sixties whose led a cossetted life, with all the advantages that wealth brings and then compare her to any number of men whose life you know nothing of ! Come on, your too intelligent not to see the absurdity of that.

        You have the advantage of me in that, being a man, I dont actually spend time thinking what other men would be classed as attractive but I dare say there is a Twiggy equivalent somewhere.

        Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to promote the idea of older men and younger women at all – examples I see I actually find demeaning for the men as much as the women…….but thats another subject – we wouldn’t want to discusss why the men in relationships with younger women are never truck drivers would we?

      • Dickie Hart says:

        ps please excuse the spelling…pity wordpress doesn’t have a spellchecker….just lazy of me.

    • June says:

      That book sounds good, Margaux, did she ever meet anyone i wonder and did she prefer younger men! . Although i do have to say european men often wear better than british ones, A friend of ,mine has a half french 76 year old brother in law who still looks very attractive and suave.

  • Lydia says:

    I was chatting to someone who is married (yet another one, said had I come along 10 years ago when his third and last wife had I might have been the one) and there is an age gap I think he’s over 60 she’s about to turn 50 but when you analyse it she has never left her village, she has a very very local accent; earns less than the minimum wage in a part time job and is fat. So that’s why they are trogether because he who never made much of his Oxford education particularly in financial terms has not a huge amount to offer but to a woman like she is the fact he actualyl owns a small house and presumably in a modest fashion can keep them both and he is I am sure very nice balances it all out.

    • Elle says:

      Lydia, are you telling us that you were pipped at the post for an older man by a fat woman who never left her village and isn’t an intellectual? Perhaps her Oxford educated husband realised that there is more to life than materialism, supermodels and PhDs.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

What’s this?

You are currently reading Hope for Us All at The Plankton.


%d bloggers like this: