Dead Day

February 18, 2012 § 23 Comments

If anyone fancies posting a guest post today or tomorrow, I would be most grateful.  Today is grey and dreary to a degree and – many apologies – I do not feel I have a single word in me.

My email to send a guest post to is the planktonlife@gmail.com

Many thanks to anyone who may have something they want to say and who might wish to help me out of an inspiration dead zone.

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§ 23 Responses to Dead Day

  • Penny says:

    Hello Plankton, on this miserable dead day. I have spent the day trying to sort out my computer, from 9.00 this morning until now, and its raining. How bad can it get!! I’m not surprised you are not inspired! Be interesting to see if anyone is.

    I had an internet date last night, nice man, good company, but did I fancy him no! nor did I fancy the man last week or the week before. I wonder if I will ever fancy anyone again. At least I am meeting men though. But what men……….

    There are probably a lot of planktons feeling like us today!

  • EmGee says:

    Hope someone feels inspired and steps up, (and has a thick skin, lol!), I enjoyed the guest last time.

  • Alison says:

    This isn’t so much a guest comment as a further pondering on internet dating. I believe, or so I am told that if you chase after a thing it remains stubbornly elusive. Therefore, cheat fate and instead sneak around the outside of it!!!

    Instead of internet dating, what about online hobbies – for instance, I enjoy computer games, the type you play with other people, they are called mmorpg (massive multiplayer online roleplaying games) which you may think are for adolescent boys to shoot things, and indeed some of them are, but the fantasy style ones, Lord of the Rings or the more recent Starwars are fun and I have met people (both male and female) of my own age who have families and jobs and lives who play for relaxation, and it is nice to chat to them online – nothing romantic but this is about getting to talk to people. I am a 49 year old woman which may seem very sad but it is an interest of mine. Also another interest is online chess, again you play against people from all over the world and UK too. As is backgammon. All I am saying is the internet is not only a ‘dating’ scenario and if you start of with the intention of finding likeminded people with similar interests surely the possibilities of anything more happening is then increased too.

    There are many forums and discussion rooms for all sorts of hobbies, needlework, writing, archaology, genealogy, what ever your interest is, I am sure there will be a group to discuss and enjoy it with, and perhaps you can take a side step in this direction to achieve your main intention of finding a partner or at least increase your circle of friends.

    I am also, what you would call Plankton, and in playing the computer games I have met many men of my own age, and in two cases i have actually met up with them and whilst nothing romantic happened, I have now two male friends of whom I am very fond and – hey – who knows, have friends themselves, that I might be interested in.

    These are just some musings I hope something may be of use to you.

    Take care

  • ToneDeafSinger says:

    Hello, I am back from a week away.
    Further to above post (Alison’s), have you heard of something called http://www.meetup.com. It’s an excellent way to go out and meet people and it is not a “dating” outfit. That said, some time ago I attended one of their events, we were divided into groups to visit a museum and then got back together for drinks, and I noticed a man and a woman in my little group quietly left. I got the strong impression they were trying to leave together without making it obvious.
    In the London area there are dozens of meet ups for all interests. Cinema, sailing, opera, zumba, hiking & outdoor, comedy, foreign languages… Within 10 miles of London there are 2,412 Meet up groups so it may take a while to find one that appeals. However, well, if the problem is not having a social life, I think joining 2 or 3 “meet ups” would probably keep you busy.

    • Penny says:

      Hi – I’ve joined a couple of Meetups, they are good. Depends on the one’s you join, they can be a bit young the people that go. Try The London Wine,Food and Travel Meeup. its a great idea, but you have to try it for yourself. Just google Meetups.

  • Lydia says:

    Well I woke very happy. I was pleased I warm and I like to see the huge protected trees in my garden which are the view from my bedroom in bed. I was surprised how happy that was making me feel. despite (unusually) having a business meeting in London all afternoon.

    Even that I enjoyed as the issues were intellectually stimulating – to paid and garner such pleasure from the work is a privilege. Ihad not been to that hotel, one of my favourites for some time. It reminded me of how good service can be at good places.

    I also thinking of the various places lovely men had taken me. Certain area evoke particular memories and even if it were date that didn’t work or a relationship that didn’t last or a long marriage which failed I am all the better for having the experience concerned. It has been a huge gift to be single in my 40s after a long marriage, the best of all possible worlds.

    I don’t mix work and pleasure so it was not an opportunity to meet men and I turned down that very late business dinner at the famous place tonight which perhaps when I have fewer children to support and divorce debt to fund is the sort of kind invitation I might take up.

    On the men front

    – Tuesday’s almost dwarf was wong on a lot of levels but we had a nice chat at a nice place (as I’d picked the venue).

    – Turned down an assignation next week with very suitable except in one important respect (married) man.Aren’t I good? Do I get sent a reward by the wives’ union or WI?

    – never had chidlren scientist fat one is still possible

    – rather interesting often abroad one I would have met messed things up by booking 2 places for lunch next week on two days for us next week – he clearly doesn’t understand women have very serious professions and aren’t available. I told him at the start – pick an unemployed woman who can travel with you or a child free one or a retired one your own age. Very mercurial anyway – had decided he loved the last woman in very little time

    – fat man on a bicycle one (why have a profile picture of yourself on a bike when your thighs are obese?) – he’s still possible.

    Young men ad nauseum presumably wanting sex rejected forthwith…

    That’s all I can remember and as I’m happy and busy unless it sounds very good I wouldn’t bother.

    So not grey and dreary here. I hope everyone who has a dreary day can improve it. We have a water shortage threatening. Any rain should be making you whoop with joy and almost run naked on the lawn in intense happiness. Look on the bright side – there always is one.

  • Descartes says:

    Lydia you lead a fascinating life and have everything except EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. Please get some!

    • Lydia says:

      I am supposedly ENFJ which is a realy accurate description of my personality type so I am pretty good on the old EI actually. It might even start to reach the levels of my supposed Mensa level IQ. I am certainly lucky enough and hard working enough to lead an interesting life. I think we were encouraged to write today which is why I did so.

      Had I ventured to Annabels last night instead of being asleep by 10.15pm (I need at least 8 hours sleep a night which is essential for my personal happiness and health) who knows what might have happened.

      If I could be bothered to do all the socialising plenty in my profession do I might get more interesting work I just can’t be bothered.

      • Joules says:

        Lydia
        This is interesting – I would have thought that you were the same personality type as myself – ENTJ. You must be close to the cut off point between the Fand T I would guess. I think that this might explain your lack of female friends – I manage to have quite a few female (and male) friends by constantly reminding myself that others are seeing the world differently to myself and have different prioriities and I need to take that into account in my dealings with them. And my real friends take account of my at times preoccupations – mostly to do with work.

        However within a relationship I think that I have a difficult time keeping this effort up. And that is when things fall apart. This is why I am seriously considering remaining single.

  • Candy says:

    Just wanted to agree with what Alison posted..I too play an online game at the age of 46 here…and have to concur that they are most definitely not just for adolescent kids. I have met many adults from all walks of life, from the professionals like the Surgeon in Scotland (54) to the gorgeous, sexy mechanic from Holland (37) who helped me beat a difficult quest.

    I too have met up with some in real life and made some fantastic friends online who have invited me to come stay with them the next time I am in Australia, America, Holland, Latvia wherever….

    Sounds mad, but I have honestly had brilliant nights, sitting with a few glasses of wine and participating in a group event in game only to find that we are all adults with similar senses of humour.. I have been bent double with laughter sometimes by the comments made….online by in game typing or on Skype

    I was meant to be going out tonight, but secretly pleased it was cancelled. I have thrown my make-up and skinny jeans aside with glee and thrown on a manky dressing gown, poured a drink and am heading to slay some high level cartoon monsters…

    Better than spending the night fending off some drunk middle aged men who think they are in with a chance cos all Divorcees ” must be desperate” or having the same conversations with the same old faces (I live in a small town) who go out week after week hoping that ‘this will be the night’.

    • Alison says:

      Indeed Candy, and not only male friends, I got along very well with another female player who turned out to live not 4 miles away from me and we often chat online while running from orcs or blood elves.

      The point being that the one you might be searching for Plankton, really could be anywhere from a chess move to an encounter with an ogre, so restricting yourself by not encompassing the internet as a whole by only thinking in terms of ‘dating’ might be narrowing your choices.

      Now, I am off for a date with Deathwing a rather nasty dragon…..

    • Lydia says:

      Some members of my household play these things. The games hit the pleasure centres of the brain – they cause dopamine to be released, a pleasure hormone. Our brains are fascinating.

  • Candy says:

    Alison..good luck with Deathwing…My date is with Ganodermic Beasts…somehow they remind me of my ex hubby in looks and name (I take perverse pleasure in slaying them) …ganod is just a typo for gonad methinks…wonder if ermic is the latin for ‘less’.. latin classes were too many years ago

    Plankton, Alison is soo right…a chance encounter with someone in the Mining Guild a few years ago took me to Thailand in recent months..I don’t think I would have got that with Plenty of Fish somehow…

  • fi says:

    My brother has recently split from his alcoholic wife. 6ft2, slim, late 40s, wealthy, CEO, clever, has custody of the kids (he’s nice and a great dad). He is inundated with women throwing themselves at him. Planktons asking him out on dates. I’ve told him he will never be so lucky again and he should try them all out and see which is the best fit, and not under any circumstances settle for the first one that crosses his path. That there are loads and loads of middle aged single women desperate for a man. That a hell of a lot of them are SFAR, and that he shouldn’t waste what he has to oFfer on a woman not worthy of him.

    • The Plankton says:

      He sounds great, and now in clover. x

      • fi says:

        God just spoke to him and he’s gone from his alcoholic wife to another needy and insecure woman. Why? Why? Its as though he’s so used to responding to women in a placatory way that he’s self selecting them like that now. It’s so depressing. And she’s 13 years younger than him which means as she wants kids he’s going to either have to give her them when his own are almost grown up, or feel guilty for her not having them.

  • Joules says:

    Fi
    Sometimes I think we are destined to keep repeating our patterns in life. Very difficult to break out of them, almost as if we are trying to get it right each time, make it work, whatever that takes. But of course we don’t.

    • fi says:

      It’s so frustrating though. Watching someone endlessly repeat the same actions over and over again. I mean as a woman I get offered men who are thick, obese, midgets, wear wigs etc etc. The world is his plankton oyster and he goes for one that’s going to make his life difficult. Again. What I thought was interesting though was that he told me he would rather spend time speaking to a nice interesting woman than one who was gorgeous. What was interesting was that he felt he had had some sort of enlightenment. I mean I don’t know any woman who would prefer to speak to a gorgeous but thick man, and none that would say something so obvious as if he’d had some sort of spiritual awakening. But he sort of thought he was being really radical by saying it. And anyway he’s got a very attractive and intelligent, if neurotic and needy, replacement for his blonde not very clever, if neurotic, needy and alcoholic, wife. And that’s what it boils down to really. Personality is important. But looks are what comes first.

  • Great site you have here.. It’s difficult to find good quality writing like yours these days. I seriously appreciate people like you! Take care!!

  • There is certainly a lot to know about this issue.

    I like all of the points you’ve made.

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