One of Those Days

February 20, 2012 § 45 Comments

So far today, one of those days, I seem to have nothing to say about being a plankton, or anything else for that matter.  My brain and heart have gone.  While fuck all is going on in my life, I am worried I am just whinging on and on, and I am not a moaner by nature.  Perhaps it’s just because half-term is over, I am tired, and scared about work and life and what have you.  As if I couldn’t have been using my time better of a working Monday morning, I have just been looking at a dating site and I can’t say the process has lifted my mood, but I shall persist.

Meanwhile, with nothing remotely planky to report except repetitive gloom, today’s is a feeble post to end all feeble posts: I can only say I have never watched any of the best TV series about which everyone talks and raves and then gets the box sets, not The Wire, not West Wing, not Mad Men, not The Sopranos, not The Killing, none of them, but I watched Homeland on Channel 4 last night and was completely and utterly gripped.

That’s me, a goner on Sunday nights for the next eleven weeks.

Something to look forward to because, frankly – shoot me down – there’s fuck all else except my latte and a visit from a TV aerial man some time between now and kingdom come.  But even the modest former probably ain’t gonna happen today as it is rather precluded by imprisonment in my own home whilst awaiting the latter.

Grrr!

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§ 45 Responses to One of Those Days

  • fi says:

    Hi P, I sent you something and wondered whether you got it. If you did but thought it rubbish that’s ok but just wanted to check if it got there.

  • janey says:

    Really sympathise with these feelings, which are probably nothing to do with being a plankton, but just the whole thing of facing up to a not very easy week. Many people – every age and marital status – are finding it difficult to stay motivated and positive. We all need to have something to look forward to. Can you think of something P? Just to keep you going for today?

  • Alison says:

    Sorry to hear you so despondent Plankton and I won’t tell you to cheer up or that there is hope on the horizon, or you never know what is round the corner, or advise you to starch your upper lip and straighten your back.

    Instead, can you tell us about young Plankton (or as I understand from a quick look at the internet – Gametogenic)? I don’t mean your children, I mean you when you were younger, what motivated you? where did you see things going back then?

    Please don’t think of this as voyeurism, it is that we have all been reading your column, it is a good one and as I haven’t read your musings from the very start,you may well have already said as much as you want to on Young Plankton, but I for one would find it interesting to know the the Gametogenic prior to becoming Plankton.

    P.S I am sure there will be many to correct me on this term and I am no expert on planktonology so please excuse the probably inaccuracies.

  • rosie says:

    I would put myself forward for the guest blog but I’ve had a migraine since yesterday morning, which seems to be getting worse even though I’ve drunk what feels like ten gallons of water and taken probably far too many paracetamol. [Tip for migraine sufferers: Syndol are brilliant as they knock you out so you can sleep it off but they are temporarily unavailable as they’re rebranding them or some such bollocks]. Anyway, I can only look at the screen in short bursts until it goes. Urgh.

    Hope the muse returns soon, P!

    • The Plankton says:

      Poor you, Rosie! I hope it goes soon and much look forward to a guest blog from you, maybe. Pxx

    • Jo says:

      Rosie. Get yourself down to the doctor’s for a prescription for ‘Zomig. Zolmitriptran’, sharpish.
      If GP not available you can buy ‘Imigran Recovery’ at the chemist’s. (You will need to fill out a form there first.). Poor you. As a sufferer of severe migraine myself, I totally sympathise.
      Syndol? Chuck them away and get either of the above. x

  • janey says:

    something to look forward to apart from Homeland of course. (which I will now watch, thanks!)

  • Penny says:

    Hello Plankton. Oh I thought I was the only one that felt like that today, but then I read your blog. I did think twice about writing back because there are a few others that have moaned over the past few days about how we all say the same thing over and over again about life, and how uninteresting it all is to read. Well they are moaning too I suppose!!

    Today, I feel a complete lack of inspiration or motivation, I have been looking for a job now for ages, I apply and have no replies. As for men, same old story, had a date on friday, he was very nice but I didnt fancy him, I tried but didnt. So I too have been on the dating sites. I did get to the gym but now what.? Plankton I think there are a lot of women like us about, sometimes its not easy to remain positive and motivated.

    Sometimes there is a huge emptiness, and my married friends will never understand that. Why is it that some of my single friends dont seem to have the same thoughts as me?, about their life, they seem ok though never talk about it. Maybe they have accepted their lot, but I dont want a life on my own.

    Yup today is not a good day, maybe chocolate and wine will help! What do you think?

    • The Plankton says:

      I am sorry to hear you are feeling the same as me today, Penny. I hope things pick up for you asap but meanwhile, hey, why not chocolate and wine? In moderation, I guess I ought to say, but a great idea! Pxx

      • Penny says:

        Thanks P, lets hope tomorrow is a better day for us! More positive things. Certainly a glass of wine tonight! As you say all in moderation!
        Take care. x

  • Jo-Jo says:

    Oh dear…..poor P, I know that feeling only too well.

    I have had the weekend from hell, in that my 27 year old daughter came home on Friday, her long term boyfriend has ended their relationship very suddenly. Only a week or two ago, they were talking about getting engaged, moving in together, where they would marry, where they would live and have babies etc etc. It was a bolt out of the blue. He tells her that he is not in love with her anymore, and she isn’t ‘the one’. She has cried solidly all weekend, and all I can do is hold her hand and tell her I love her. I can’t even tell her that everything will be ok (which of course it will eventually) because as as far as she is concerned her world has come to an end, and she can see no future without him in her life. She has cried and sobbed until her tears have run dry.

    ALL her friends are settling down with partners now, and she is left all alone. Even at her age, it is very much a ‘couples world’ out there. They are all getting engaged, married or living with their partners. She had so much to look forward to with Jack, and now it has all been taken away. The sad thing is, she had one other relationship 6 years ago, and it ended abruptly and in the same gut-wrenching, heart-breaking way. It took her 4 years of being single to get over the first guy and meet the more recent one. She hates the dating scene, and also the shallowness of going to Bars, etc etc. She loves home, and all she wants to do is settle down and have a family. She is well aware that her body clock is ticking away (she will be 28 in October)

    I feel devastated for her, and I have shed many tears too. I feel like I have aged 5 years in one weekend. I am so worried and concerned for her. I hate to see her go through such heartbreak. If only I could take the heartbreak and pain on myself, and go through it instead of her. She keeps saying again and again “I can’t do this mum, I can’t do this, I can’t take any more pain” She feels as if she is living a nightmare, except she cant’t wake up from it. My poor beautiful, lovely daughter, she feels her world has ended, and she can’t face the future at all now…..my heart is breaks with her. :((((

    Jo-Jo

    • Penny says:

      Poor you Jo Jo. Heartbreaking to see you daughter like that. I dont have kids but can imagine how upsetting it must be. You probably feel helpless. Your daughter has had some awful upsets, and she is only 28. I had been through quite a lot too by the time I was that age, and you think you are never going to get over it but you do. We all know that time is a healer. She is only 28 though and has many years to go and the clock isnt ticking yet. She will just need a lot of time and understanding. So awful that this has happened a second time. Why do we have to go through all this? There is no answer.

      • Jo-Jo says:

        Thank you Penny, yes I do feel helpless, and I can only give her all my love as a mother, and my support. x

    • j24601 says:

      I’m sure that this’ll be the first of many replies here wishing you and your daughter love, best wishes, and strength to deal with this heartbreaking event. Good luck to the both of you.

    • The Plankton says:

      Dear Jo Jo, I am so sorry for your daughter and for you. A nightmare, but I suspect many of us have been through it (I certainly have!) and we have come out the other side. You and I know she will be fine but how one conveys that to her, heaven knows. I know all the readers of this blog will be rooting for you both. Best wishes, Px

      • Jo-Jo says:

        Thank you so much P…….it is so hard to watch her suffer, I would rather it was me than her going through this heartbreak and not her. Like you say, I am sure with time, she will get over him, and hopefully meet someone worthy of her love. xx

      • The Plankton says:

        I remember when I was unhappy at various points in my love, my mother used to say to me, “I wish I could take it away from you and feel it myself instead.” And now that is precisely how I feel if I see my own children unhappy. Best of luck to you both. px

      • Jo-Jo says:

        Absolutely P……that is exactly how I feel now as the mother of a heartbroken daughter, your mother said it all. I would rather I could suffer on her behalf and she could be happy xx

    • joules says:

      Jo-Jo
      I am so sorry for her – been there and done that. It does get better and there will be a day where she won’t feel like crying at all. But there are many days to get through before then. It will help having you close.

      It does help to talk about it, read about other breakups, get some help talking to someone who counsels people through these things. At least they had not bought a house together, moved in together, actually had kids together. And if he would walk out on her when things are relatively easy then she does not want to invest anymore of her time in him because things will only get more stressful in life.

      Good luck to her and to you – you are in my thoughts.

      • Jo-Jo says:

        You are so right Joules….at least they hadn’t got engaged, moved in together, bought a house, or started a family. I think she may well get some counselling, which may well help. Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. Everyone who loves P and her blogs all know what heartbreak is like and to be alone, and it feels sometimes that we are like a family of women, all united in one thing……. and so we are not alone! x

    • EmGee says:

      So very sorry to hear of your daughter’s woes. Sounds like a developing pattern of being in a committed relationship with someone willing to commit – until it becomes time to commit, that is. Hopefully she can find a guy whose clock is also ticking (ie wants to start a family). If she wants marriage and a family, maybe she should set a limit on how much time she’s willing to spend with someone before making things permanent.

      • Jo-Jo says:

        Yes, I think you are right EmGee, I think she would be better off with someone slightly older, who has more maturity, and is ready to settle, commit etc. Thank you so much for your kind thoughts x

    • June says:

      Your poor dear daughter jojo, so sad at 28 for it to be a couples world, i guess you are somewhere in the provinces, which as we know seems very coupled up for a;ll ages.

      Still she is hopefully, unlike most of us, i have been feeling very unmotivated too P,, .likely to meet someone else but as this happened before will the poor girl trust anyone else. Sadly it still often does sem to be a mans world.

      • Jo-Jo says:

        June…..she has lost all faith and trust in men for now…..but I hope it doesn’t stop her from falling in love again. I do worry so much for her, she has such a low self-esteem anyway, despite the fact she is gorgeous. I feel so so sad for her, as all she wants to do is settle down like all her friends 😦 Thank you for your kind thoughts x

    • Jo says:

      Dear Jo-Jo. How sad for her. (And you.). Such is the rich, painful tapestry of life. We have all been there haven’t we? In different forms. She is young and will come through – eventually – still young and with years ahead of her. No ticking of the clock just yet…
      But at this time..Nothing but tea (or stronger), tears, love, soothing, wailing and good healthy anger will haul her through. Thank goodness for mum.
      Sending you the very best of wishes.

      • Jo-Jo says:

        Thank you Jo……appreciate your kind words, and yes, strong tea, or stronger will help. Being a mother is tough when you see your kids suffer and you share their pain….wonderful though when you share their joys, when they come. She will come through this, even though she think she won’t. Breathe in, breath out…….sigh!! x

  • Today’s not even a holiday in your country….

  • EmGee says:

    “My brain and heart have gone.”
    Well, that says it all. Happily you’re already feeling better and brighter, thanks to aerial man 🙂 Reminds me of young pierced coffee shop man, whom you posted about not too long ago (did you get a double dose when you went out for your latté?). Hurray for the Flirtatious Ones!

  • Lydia says:

    “I am tired, and scared about work and life and what have you.”

    So let us deal with that a step at a time. I try to get 8 hours sleep a night. I am sure it is one reason I feel happy and it’s a very cheap way to feel good. Very early nights, none of this pointless socialising which is making you unhappy and meeting all these people on a huge whirl of stuff which isn’t making you happy. Think about how to be content with what you have, how lucky the house is warm or there are children or whatever else of the simple things it is.

    Scared about work and life – why fear? In the recession for most people it is money. We need it to eat and live. However we are very very lucky to live in a country with a welfare state and you will not starve however bad things get and people can be very happy with little. Nigerians are the happiest on earth apparently and they don’t have much in terms o income many of them.

    Fear – there is nothing to fear but fear itself. I have that on a tapestry in the house.

    It will be better. Tomorrow is always better.

  • rosie says:

    Next stop, lattes on the house!

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