TV Aerial Man’s Surprise Special Offer

February 20, 2012 § 42 Comments

Blow me down.  The TV aerial man made a pass at me.

I didn’t lead him on, I swear.

He said I had great legs (I don’t), and he said more besides.

He was nice enough, friendly and polite, but I passed up the offer a) because when he guessed my age he said mid-fucking-50s!!! (Though he back-tracked furiously, saying he only said that because I said I was old, it was too late).  And b) because I envisaged that he probably tells several lone women in need of aerials a day that they have nice legs/hair/eyes/tits (delete where applicable), and hopes to score – and probably does score – one in ten.

I remained one of the nine politely to decline.

But it certainly added an element of surprise to an otherwise gloomy Monday morning.



§ 42 Responses to TV Aerial Man’s Surprise Special Offer

  • Penny says:

    An element of surprise indeed. But never trust a tv aerial man or similar, they probably chat women up all the time. You did right to decline. But it must have cheered up your day a little!!

  • Steve says:

    Schoolboy error.

    You never, EVER, guess a woman’s age.


    It’s a trick question; there is no right answer. If you go way under, she thinks you’re making fun of her, if you get it right/go over, you’re a dead man.


    • j24601 says:

      Spot on Steve. I always ‘guess’ 21 whenever a plankton asks me that question; a tad corny, maybe, but it usually goes down well.

      • marriednotsmug says:

        The other day I answered the door and a tradesman asked to speak to my mum! And he wasnt trying to be flirtacious, think he should have gone to Specsavers! It’s flattering to be told you look 25 when you are 45 but not 12!!

    • The Plankton says:

      Absolutely! Though under is a whole heap better than over! xx

  • fi says:

    Well I think you should take it in the spirit it was intended, as a compliment. And Steve is right – never mention your age or ask someone to guess it.

  • Elle says:

    “Ello luv, I’ll install your aerial like you asked, and something else of similar girth but much shorter than a TV aerial but you’ll like it a lot more!” Cringe.

    TV aerial man probably knew he hadn’t a chance and that’s why he (deliberately and erroneously) guessed your age at mid-50s. Was he wearing cowboy boots and hat? Did he really tell you that you had nice legs and proposition you?

    How unprofessional of him even though you do probably have good legs (if you’re size 8 you HAVE to have good legs unless you’re 3ft tall). I would not have much faith in this man’s ability to install a satellite dish or TV aerial.

    Girls should be taught basic DIY and motor mechanics at school, then we would be less susceptible to cowboys like Plankton’s TV aerial man. We should be able to do anything that doesn’t require a professional.

    • fi says:

      Why is it unprofessional to flirt and why does flirting call into question his ability to install a satellite dish?

      • Jane says:

        Totally agree with you Fi. Come on Elle lighten up, it may not have been the most exciting possiblity, but it was a bit of fun…bet it made you smile P…even if it was only a wry smile and gave a little fillip to your day. Not every bit of flirting has to be deadly serious and lead to anything more. Oh and don’t ever ask a man to guess your’s just embarrassing for all concerned and best left unsaid.

      • The Plankton says:

        He brought it up. He asked me how old I was and I stupidly said, guess. Won’t be making that mistake again for a while! xx

    • Jo says:

      Ooh. Lighten up a bit Elle. It’s not that serious….

      • Jo says:

        Goddammit. Beaten to it by Jane, whose comment popped up just before mine!
        I look as if I’m being a parrot…

  • Mark says:

    How did the subject of your age even come up? I don’t think a man aiming to score would ever broach the subject, so you must have raised it. You must have asked him how old he thought you were. And there’s no right answer, is there? Too high and he’s out of his ear. Too low and he’s a shallow flatterer. Even getting it bang on wouldn’t be a right answer because you doubtless think/hope you look younger than your years.

    And at the risk of being crude, every man knows that while there are seven ages of man – there are only three ages of woman: underbonkable, bonkable and overbonkable. The law prescribes the first – the others are down to the individual.

    • fi says:

      Yep. Better for a younger man to think your older without knowing how much older. You don’t want him to start working out how near you are to his mother’s age as once he goes with that thought its dead in the water.

  • EmGee says:

    Still, it was an interesting, unthreatening encounter.

  • zoe says:

    Made me laugh out loud. I think it’s completely delightful 🙂 I suspect he doesn’t do it all the time or he wouldn’t have made the faux pas. I think it’s a sorry pass, though, to complain when men don’t pay you attention and when they do complain that they must be unworthy and on the make. Not that you’re really moaning, are you P?

  • SAR says:

    He was being sarcastic.
    You don´t have great legs ( according to you ) and you probably look older than you really are.

  • You mean you were not tempted to say, “oh gee, thank you, the way you fixed my television antenna was SO graceful, let’s see what else you can do…” and then remove your clothing?

  • I thought that they ended terrestrial television broadcasting in Europe years ago? Why do antenna repair persons still exist now?

  • thirtysomething says:

    I guffawed at Mark’s entire post. And isn’t this true, this bit: ‘There are only three ages of woman: underbonkable, bonkable and overbonkable. The law prescribes the first – the others are down to the individual.’

    • fi says:

      Should it be post bonkable rather than over bonkable?

      • zoe says:

        Ha. I think we should be questioning both “post” and “over”. If Mark’s individual wants to bonk the “overbonkable” or “postbonkable” then for that individual they are simply “bonkable” aren’t they? Let’s not let society’s judgements dictate who we should be having sex with. 🙂

  • rosie says:

    Because Mark is no doubt David-Beckham-George-Clooney-Brad-Pitt bonkable. And better than all of them – combined – in the sack. Losers.

    • Chris says:

      Ayr Rosie, and may we suppose you are an Angelina Jolie/Nicholle Kidman lookalike ? These celebrity linked put downs of men are just sad and tiresome…..and fruitless. I’ll wager nobody on this blog looks like a film star……even if they think they do !!

  • Dickie Hart says:

    Hi P, Still can’t comment on the other post, but lets forget it. Had to chuckle on this one as when I read “One of Those Days” I was going to say chher up maybe you’ll score with the TV repair man”. Gotta go x

  • Dawn says:

    Postbonkable. Now THERE’S a name for a blog.

    I may get it printed on a T-shirt.

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