Guest Blog: Love is in the Air

March 5, 2012 § 54 Comments

A big thank you to Rosie for this brave guest blog today:-

In the spring, a plankton’s fancy (never mind a young man’s) lightly turns to thoughts of love. And today [Rosie sent this to me a few days ago.  Px], being the first unofficial day of spring, love was everywhere, from the teenagers chewing each others’ faces off on the park bench to the gnarled old couple holding hands at the bus stop, he with a massive gargoyle nose that would stop you in your tracks at ten paces, poor sod. But still she loved him.

Which got me round to thinking, as I often do, can you live a life without love?

Romantic love is not the only kind of love, of course. There’s the love a mother has for her children, the platonic love of a good friend, the love you have – if you’re lucky – for your parents and siblings. Even the affection someone has for a cherished pet (maybe a goldfish is pushing it here) could be described as ‘love’.

You could even argue that you don’t need love at all, that you just need to fill your life with ‘stuff’ and keep madly busy. And there are lots of exciting things to pad it out with: listening to an amazing piece of music, turned up loud, with good headphones on; reading a life-changing book; looking out the cabin window at 30,000 feet, tipsy on free champagne miniatures and having that slightly surreal feeling that anything is possible; the delicious anticipation of a debauched night out (when I was much younger, I should probably add!), not knowing how it will unfold. The list is endless.

But can any of them compare with those heady, almost unbearable, feelings of being so into someone that just thinking about them gives you palpitations? Or, once the ‘madly in love’ phase has waned (which it must, otherwise there would be a whole load of basket cases walking around), the cosy, warm reassurance of knowing that someone actually gives a monkey’s toss about you?

When you’ve been in love it’s the only place you want to be. I’m not so sure Tennyson got it right when he wrote ‘tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’. You can’t miss what you’ve never had. And I miss it, sometimes so badly that the mere thought of another day on my own fills me with such a terrible ennui that I despair for the future.

But hey, life goes on, and so, as another spring inexorably comes into bloom and the snogging teenagers and amorous oldies come out in force, this plankton goes about her solitary business, as she has done – railing against it all the way – for as long as she can remember.

Which brings me to conclude that, yes, you can live a life without love, but it’s no life at all.

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§ 54 Responses to Guest Blog: Love is in the Air

  • Cindy says:

    Hi Rosie,

    Your blog bought a tear to my eye. I feel the same pain that you do. It’s a deep ache for what once was and how I took it all for granted, and the fear that I may never have it again. And after my last break up I also wished I’d never loved at all, because as you said how can you miss something you’ve never had.
    But I hope you are wrong – that I can have a happy and fulfilling life without a man in my life. Because it looks as though that’s how my life is going to be.

  • barry says:

    Thank you Rosie for a thought provoking letter today …. and your honesty . I can only endorse your Tennyson analasys , but , the underlying theme …to me …is that you have to be open and receptive and abandon yourself to Love, Not place restrictions and conditions on it.
    Love just arrives , or it can grow. Doesn’t have to be a hurricane, it can be a gentle zephyr ….. but you have to be free to see it and accept it . You can’t chase the wind and catch it , and you can’t chase Love and catch it, I feel.
    If you can separate your desire for companionship from Love ,you are on the right road I think .

    Men do this , I just realised !
    See what your letter has done for me…?
    Merci encore xx

    • Fi0na says:

      Separating ones desire from companionship, from love, could leave one open to falling in love with, lets say for arguments sake, a married man, or being open to a weekends only, non-cohabiting sort of romance. Is that what you are alluding to Barry?

  • Elle says:

    “Which brings me to conclude that, yes, you can live a life without love, but it’s no life at all.”

    So true, but thanks to Plankton those of us in that situation know we’re not alone, which is comforting. Thanks for the touching blog post, Rosie.

  • MissM says:

    Such a beautiful post Rosie, thank you, and you raise a question I have pondered myself many times. Indeed life without love is not a life at all. Living without love is not living but merely existing, and of course it can be done, but it is not optimal, and I have not found anything that can compensate for the lack of love. Maybe a person can run around like mad filling their days with activities in order to keep too busy to notice the lack of love, but surely that frenetic activity cannot be maintained forever and at some point it will be necessary to pause even if just to draw breath.

    It is my belief that the one thing that raises human beings from being nothing more than mere organisms, is the capacity to love and be loved in return. How sad it is when one cannot achieve that potential.

  • Oxonian says:

    Good question. I would say that love of some form, whether from family, friends, or partner/spouse is probably essential to a balanced, healthy personality and thus a good life. But is the specifically romantic sort of love necessary?

    To be honest I think it varies according to temperament. Some people live to a great extent by having other people to bounce off of. Other seemingly psychologically healthy people can tolerate, even enjoy and choose, long periods of solitude. This is well illustrated by the cases of a selection of writers/artists who I happen to know of, though I apologize for their dead white male-ness (which someone less fusty than me can perhaps counter). Dr Johnson said ‘Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures’, and elsewhere commented to the effect that it mattered more that a man be married than to whom. On the other hand seemingly voluntary celibates include the composers Handel and Brahms, and the historians Gibbon and Macaulay. Gibbon explicitly says in his memoir that after an early disappointed engagement he never gave the idea of marriage a second thought. I don’t think the fact that these were geniuses matters particularly. We might also ask what, if anything, these men did for sex, but that’s beside the point.

    • fi says:

      @oxonian. I think it’s better to have reciprocated romantic love than not have it. Similarly it’s better to have money than not have it. And it’s better to have health than not have it. And it’s better to be attractive than unattractive. The crucial question really I think is can you live without it if necessary and still find pleasure and meaning in life. I think people who can are different in their outlook in many ways to those who can’t.

      @rosie – a well written piece that describes why relationships matter to us.

      • Fi0na says:

        yes fi reciprocity would be a key aspect in the romantic love rosie is describing. I, for one, am very susceptible to falling in love with “that which cannot love me back” and do experience all the highs but many carpet-ripped-from-under-me type of moments too.

      • MissM says:

        That does succinctly sum up what love does do, give pleasure and meaning to life. It might be that artists (I use this as a broad term to include composers, and even passionate historians, not just painters) have such a love for their art and can gain from it sufficient pleasure and meaning in life that it renders a loving relationship with another person redundant. (As for sex, if they are not after closeness with another human being I am sure they all still knew how to masturbate, or perhaps their sex drives were just naturally low.) For those of us not born with such artistic talents and passions what else is there but love to provide us with such pleasure and meaning? For me living without love is indeed to live without meaning.

        Sure living without love can be done, just as we can live in poverty or without good health. But at the same time I imagine we’d all be striving to get out of poverty or regain our health just as much as we hope to love and be loved in return.

      • EmGee says:

        @ MissM:

        I don’t think artists are any different than anyone else. History shows, that for every celibate artist, there is one with an enormous sexual appetite. The rest fall somewhere in between. Just like people in every other profession/calling.

      • MissM says:

        @ EmGee

        Very true, I guess I was just pondering the people that Oxonian mentioned and whether having an alternate passionate love, that being their art in whatever form it may take, makes it easier for those individuals to find deep pleasure and meaning in life despite being famously celibate. For me life without love has no meaning so I was just wondering what it is that provides that meaning in the lives of others who do not seem to need love, since that seems rather mysterious to me.

    • fi says:

      @MissM. I DO have love in my life. Not romantic love that’s true, but I have children, friends I’ve had for decades (one since I was 5) that I’ve grown up with and shared my life, and parents.

      • fi says:

        Sorry I didn’t explain myself properly and that just sounds like a pointless to say. What I meant is that I think having someone to love is important for a well balanced person, I share oxonian’s view here.

  • j24601 says:

    To ask the question is to answer it.

    Splendid post, Rosie. Encore.

  • MissBates says:

    Very poignant post, Rosie. As one of the commenters here who has officially “given up” seeking a romantic relationship, I can attest to it being an often (albeit not always) bleak existence. There aren’t flashes of happiness now and again (and even a smattering of love and platonic affection, from niece/nephews, good friends, etc.) — like splashes of primary color on an otherwise grey canvas. I am also very lucky indeed to live in one of the world’s most exciting and cosmopolitan cities, where I can distract myself, if I choose, with an infinite variety of theater, music, art, movies, lectures, bookshops, restaurants, and just simple people-watching. Sometimes I enjoy these activities, but much of the time they are but a distraction, a time-killer, if you will. This past weekend was not a good one. As I sat at Carnegie Hall listing to Mozart performed by the Vienna Philharmonic (yeah, yeah I know — oh woe is me! the hardship!), something that should be transporting, I instead felt completely blank and empty. No rhyme or reason to it; sometimes the distractions work, sometimes they don’t. Maybe tomorrow night, when I’ll be back in the same box at Carnegie listing to the Boston Symphony perform Missa Solemnis, I’ll experience a respite. It’s best not to have too many expectations in this regard, and thus the relief, if it comes, is a welcome surprise.

  • EmGee says:

    Beautiful, well thought out post, Rosie.

    “….it can be a gentle zephyr.” I love that, Barry.

  • june says:

    Bless you Rosie, what a lovely piece.

    I am not sure though if it is better to have not been loved at all, Because to be honest i havent. I loved my parents and from what i hear about many others i was really lucky there.My lovely dad has been dead nearly two years and i still miss him so,just knowing he was there. I love my friends but the kind of love you mention, no ive never experienced it and ive spent ,my life wondering why. Im not bad looking, im slim, sociable, chatty told im kind and caring, my friends all seem to love me, my parents loved me but the love you describe ive never felt and noone has felt it for me.

    So Rosie it isnt better, cause i hate the thought of living my life without knowing it but sadly i think i will, and i truly think wont find it on a dating site.

  • Dawn says:

    Well done, Rosie! Very well put.

    Most of the time, being alone doesn’t bother me, but every now and again, usually first thing in the morning or last thing at night, I feel the gaping emptiness stretching out before me… and I feel I may very well go utterly mad.

  • barry says:

    I returned to see if the followers were as moved as I am …WE are . Wonderful , peaceful moment here , and thanks for the compliment EmGee , makes me warm inside . x

    BTW, hope P is relaxing and returns with good news .

  • Caz says:

    ….well done Rosie….and for your very thoughtful comment Barry. June’s comment made me feel very sad.
    I think that not only are there many types of love – but also of romantic love both as a passionate coup de foudre and a gentle zephyr.
    I think it’s lovely to experience every sort possible – but it’s fascinating how love changes and waxes and wanes throughout a relationship. Saddest of all is that you can’t turn love off and if a relationship ends for whatever reason it can be very hard to extinguish all thoughts of that person.
    I also think it’s possible to be romantically involved with more than one person as there are so many varied layers of love.

  • Joules says:

    Dear Rosie, Lovely post. And I guess I am lucky to have loved then as I find June’s post very sad and just want to give her a hug. I suppose that is what makes romantic love so special, it does not come around every day.

  • rosie says:

    Thanks for the kind comments, folks. I was doing my pilates class tonight and, if I may say so myself, don’t look bad in leggings and t-shirt, even for an old bird. Which had me pondering something else: do you ever feel you’ve gone – or are going – to waste? Like MissBates, I have more or less given up, but I still can’t quite bring myself to believe that this is *it*. There’s a few years yet until bits start falling off and I wouldn’t mind a bit more action (I think I can just about remember how to do it) before that happens.

    I’ve even considered ordering someone in (for all of five seconds) but I’d either fall around laughing hysterically or need to be so drunk that it would render a night of passion completely out of the question. Plus, he’d probably be some oiled, gelled up creep. Ugh.

    • zoe says:

      Yes, completely, Rosie. It was the overwhelming sense of going to waste that propelled me out of my overly lengthy period of celibacy. That, combined with knowing that an intimate relationship with someone I liked was for me the best thing – the very best thing – in life.

    • fi says:

      @rosie. I do think planktons look much better than women who are hooked up really. We tend to make more of an effort to look good and stay slim just on the off chance we do meet someone. Married women I know have almost let themselves go, although the ones I know describe it as realising there are “less superficial” things to bother about. I don’t think making the effort to stay slim and look good for your partner is superficial actually but courtesy towards them and self respect.

      • fi says:

        I really think paying for sex would make me feel really demeaned and diminish my confidence massively. Regardless of how I sold it to myself I think I would feel diminished that I had paid for something that other women get for free/get offered dinner for/ get paid for/ do for love.

    • Brigitte says:

      OMG! I often feel like I am going to waste. I’m still very attractive with a good body (not Victoria’s Secret, but very nice) and baffled that nobody wants me (WTF!!!). Actually, maybe I’m exagerating. The men at the gym do seem to be looking at me lately (my hair is longer), but that’s it. Several regulars smile back at me and say ‘hi’, a couple will talk willingly (they’re married, so feel ‘safe’, I guess) and one is just polite (the one I like the most) so probably not interested.

      I also crave sex (making love would be so much nicer, but sex will do). I often think about checking out the escort services. It would be nice to choose someone a little younger than me that really turns me on and enjoy an evening of ‘love’ even if it is purchased. I just heard of an escort service in the U.S. called Cowboys for Angels. The women that use their service say that they want to spend an evening with a ‘sure thing’ and that they don’t have the time to get to know someone that may or may not work out. You don’t have to worry about saying the ‘wrong thing’ that will send him running. No matter what you say, he will smile and laugh and still have sex with you. Then he goes away (that part would be hard since I would like to sleep with him and have breakfast). Maybe some day I will drum up the courage. I’m not totally comfortable with it, but I can see myself doing it. It’s also quite pricey ($500 U.S. extra for the sex – he better be good!).

      • zoe says:

        For God’s sake Brigitte, don’t even think about it. You don’t need to pay for sex. Just check out the older women/younger men sites. Do they exist in Canada? I’m sure you’ll find someone there you really fancy and who will be bowled over by you. He’ll stay for breakfast and stay in your life if you choose right.

      • fi says:

        @Brigitte. I think if all you are after is sex, that’s not too difficult. A relationship with a like minded bloke is a bit harder, but sex with a single bloke who will laugh at your jokes and disapear before breakfast won’t cost you 500 dollars. Just hang out in a bar. However if there are blokes at your gym who smile and say hello, why not start chatting to them? They won’t approach you without some sign of encouragement from you, and from what you’re saying you’re not really giving them that – you’re just treating them the same way as the others. Why not give it a try and see what happens? Maybe you’ve forgotten that its only player guys that have the confidence to pursue a woman without any signs of encouragement from her,

      • Brigitte says:

        @fi: Some have just started looking and smiling at me, and believe me, I always smile back at them and say hi, and I do chat with some of them. Unfortunately for me, the two that chat the most are married (nobody wears their wedding ring when doing weights). As for initiating the chatting, the one and only guy I did this with is the one that I fancy the most (the one that is nice enough, but not ‘into me’).

        I have to be careful because I don’t want to give a guy false hope. Maybe it’s just a remnant of my younger days, but I always hated having to tell a guy that I’m just chatting and I don’t want to date him. Unwanted advances used to be a problem for me. Oh, how time has changed things.

        @zoe: I have checked out an older women/younger men site, but couldn’t find the Canadian website. Will look again for another. I’m not sure how I feel about younger men deliberately seeking older women (hard to believe any man would want us after all the trouble we seem to have as plankton).

        As for choosing an escort, that’s the point. I get to choose a good looking guy. The escort company would have to be one of quality. Cowboys for Angels only accepts men that look like models. I don’t have access to this company, but that would certainly interest me. I’m not saying I would do it, just contemplating.

      • fi says:

        But Brigitte, if you don’t feel comfortable going with a guy who only seeks older women for sex, how could you feel comfortable with a guy who only seeks older women for sex if they pay for it?

      • zoe says:

        “hard to believe any man would want us after all the trouble we seem to have as plankton”. There is no pleasure like finding out that for a good number of young and handsome men you have an allure that younger women cannot match. What this has done for me is show me how much of a construct the whole “plankton” phenomenon is. Don’t buy into the myths that we spin for ourselves around middle-age. I don’t think the younger man thing is for everyone, but for you, Brigitte, I think you’ll find what you’re looking for.

      • Brigitte says:

        @fi: Paying someone of my choice to share a pleasant evening and then my bed is very liberating. The difference between the escort and the ‘boytoy’ is that I’m paying one for something that we both agree on and the other is a young guy from a Cougar dating sight that I have to meet for a date, get to know, build a relationship with and then hope he sticks around. The escort is a ‘sure thing’ that can fill a gap until I do meet someone. I don’t want to waste the few years of good skin I have left waiting for a relationship. It’s just an option and it might be all that is available to me. And I get to make out with a good looking guy that will make me feel very special because I paid him to do so. If I can’t find a decent man to do this for free, then, yes, I will pay for it. I’m pretty sure the escort will find me attractive and pleasant, so I will easily believe all the sweet nothings he whispers to me. It might even prevent me from going into a (mild) depression.

        Again, just something I’m contemplating, not considering seriously yet.

      • Lizzie says:

        Brigitte – there is a lot of sense in your post. It would be convenient, immediate, guaranteed, and it is not going to hurt anybody. If anything, I think that holding a warm human body next to yours would do wonders for your current wellbeing and boosting your confidence.
        I recently decided to to have casual sex with someone I know well, a very good single friend (and believe me this is after a five year drought) and I was astounded how happy and boosted I felt afterwards and this lasted for weeks. A few misgivings that it was not going to turn into anything else, but these were far far outweighed by a feeling of newfound confidence.

      • Lizzie says:

        Oh – and great post Rosie!

      • Elle says:

        Brigitte, can you get away skiing? I always find that I get more offers on a skiing holiday than anywhere else, and the quality of the men who ski is second to none!

      • Brigitte says:

        @Elle: Damn! I can’t ski anymore because of a busted knee ligament (from skiing). I was just a beginner when it tore and haven’t been able to “get back on that horse”. Also couldn’t drive my car for a month because the clutch was too stiff and my knee too weak. Maybe X-country? Probably only old men.

        Lizzie, I wish I had a friend with which I could have casual sex. Lucky you, even if it couldn’t be more. I would be quite happy with that. Especially if we could do it occasionally. Was yours just a one-time thing or could you do it again (without strings attached)?

      • Lizzie says:

        Could easily do it again – just haven’t yet. But I think from the way he looks at me it will be happening again. If anything, it has surprised me that the whole feeling is one of anticipation and excitement – with a friendship thrown in. I enjoy making it clear that I will not demand anything more from him, so no strings, no hassles, just a warm body. One thing is definitely certain – he will be a friend for life.

      • Brigitte says:

        Lizzie,

        Lucky, lucky you. Enjoy.

        Brigitte

      • Lydia says:

        On skiing , one of my o lder off spring just got back from a ski trip. She said she and her friend didn’t buy a single meal all week. Every single bar they went into men (seemed to be full of groups of 10 men on City/banking work trips) would send drinks over to the two of them. It sounded like quite the place to be and very amusing.

  • Brigitte says:

    Beautiful Rosie.

    I fell in love for the first time late in my life in 2010 when I was 47. I doubt I will experience its beauty and power again. But I must say, as painful as the end of it was and as short as it was (6 months and then his wife took him back), I am so thankful I finally understood what “it” is all about and felt its magic.

    As for going about life, well, it is rather mundane without love, but tolerable. I may have been fine before I experienced love, but I was not complete. Now, I am slowly returning to that state of being fine. It fills me with sadness when I think of the 30 or so years I may have to live without love. I just hope that at some point it will stop being a driving force in my life.

  • june says:

    Dont worry Rosie,in older than you and no bits have dropped off yet,all pretty intact, and in reasonable shape from toes to teeth. Like Fi says we planktons do keep in good shape and i am fitter than lots of my coupled up friends,even the younger ones.

    Thanks Caz and Joules for your kind comments, yes i do feel sad ive never and probably never will know the sort of love mentioned, but i dont want you to think im a saddo, im actually quite a happy person, i have my sad moments but i try and look at the positives of my life. I had as i said, very loving and kind parents,sadly i know many who didnt have that, yes they are dead now but it remains with you. I have quite a lot of caring friends, again there are those without any friends, sad indeed.

    Anyway in not always sure people with partners all still love them,.i know people who stay with partners because they cant bear to be alone, at least im used to it and its bearable just. Losing one to someone else i havent had to experience, two planktons i know seem to be on permanent anti depressants as it happened to them, when over 60. Im convinced one friend of mine stays with her partner as she couldnt afford her mortgage if he wasnt there,she bought her ex out, and i think she stopped loving him, he worked away and she wouldnt move, i think anyone would do but she knows how hard it is find someone else as a middle aged women, and she hates being alone. Lots of the time she seems miserable and cant do things cause he wouldnt like it, is that a way to live, it doesent sound like love, and there are many others in similar relationships. Another friend admits she doesent really love her husband not in that way, but she wanted a baby, was nearly 40 and thought last chance, Do we planktons sometimes see only the really happy relationships and not all the ones just there for convenience etc, maybe we do, and do we wonder why we wont put up with similar. Most of you have had them, unlike me, but not now, maybe you were not prepared to put up with a second best one or anybody will do,good for you. .

    A man i went to school with once told me i was attractive, still looked younger than any other women in our class, and was a nice person, i just wasnt sexy!perhaps hes right , i have all the bits, still intact Rosie,they just dont have the desired effect. Ive always had short hair, ive grown it a bit,and its reddish rather than dark brown all my friends like it, but sadly still no effect on men. The friend of my age on POF gets more dates than me, ok she hasnt met anyone right for her yet, but one this weekend took her to a posh resturant, he paid, then wanted to see her sunday, she had something else on and he took umbrage,she said hell he hardly knows me and wanted to start control, no thanks. I thought no but you got a date, more than me and she says shes a few more to see, a few, one would do, but im not howling into my pillow about it girls but thanks for the understanding.

  • rosie says:

    Never considered you a saddo for a minute, June! I think life would be so much easier if you (ie, one) were a big, fat, undiscerning slob, as there are so many others out there to choose from.

  • june says:

    Indeed Rosie it would, but thats it maybe all we planktons should look at ourselves differently, perhaps we are the right ones holding out for someone decent who we really care about, not just putting up with or accepting anything. Maybe we just too hard on ourselves, and we should give ourselves a break. At least we do cope with being alone, sort of. We do have people who love us, in that we are lucky, just not that special one and there we come back to it,does everyone else or do they just settle. Great piece of writing, today from you, struck a chord with many i think.

  • Jane Ferguson says:

    Yes, really enjoyed it Rosie – not that I dont enjoy P’s wonderful work too…a hug for June, too – and never give up (not that I think you ever would, you dont sound like that kind of person!) I was alone till 52…married at 53 & to date 18 very happy years…

  • rosie says:

    I’ve considered the ‘friends with benefits’ thing too, but I know a few people who have gone there and there’s usually one party who ends up wanting more and it gets messy and spoils the friendship.

    • Lizzie says:

      Yes this is possibly going to happen to me (with me wanting more) but at this point I am just determined not to let this happen. Even if I feel it (which I did in the beginning) I can still quash these feelings and enjoy the little I have. I am 54 and if I believe this is all I can get (never a casual sex person before this by the way – maybe once in my youth!) this is all I want. It is just something, better than an empty void. Even the anticipation brightens me up.

  • june says:

    Lucky you Lizzie with this friend, sadly i have few male friends so for me not an option. But Brigitte i would really not go there with the hiring a man thing, what if you fall for the man. Dont you think that,might make you feel worse, we are more emotional than men and once we have sex our emotions come into play. OK with Lizzies good friend she knows him but a stranger you dont know – risky in more ways than one.

    No jane i wont give up, but deep down inside i think i know it wont happen, but hope springs eternal.Trouble with me is i honestly find men of my own age not at all attractive, not just looks, attitudes , they seem so much older than me, i cant identify with them. They feel like my dad, older really as although my dad was born in 1912 and 35 when i was born, old for those day, he was very young for his his age and had very liberal and up to date attitudes to women,i think he made me way i am. Many men of my age seem older than him,and as the younger men older women senario doesent seem very prominent in my part of world, that kind of makes it hard for me to think meeting anyone will ever happen.

    • Brigitte says:

      Hi June,

      Yes, I definitely have to give it some thought. I’m terrified of falling for him, esp. since this is said to happen to women during sex when the oxytocin kicks in after an orgasm. I don’t think men experience this to the same extent. Breast feeding women also release oxytocin to help bond with their baby. I’m definitely afraid of this consequence.

      Meanwhile, I’m trying a new dating website for seniors. Surprisingly, there are many men in their forties. Unlike eHarmony, I can view all the men on the site and am not left to a computer merely matching us on personality and character traits. Looks count for something. I’m getting many flirts and compliments on my pics, but this is probably the norm for any decent looking female. I messaged a very nice looking guy who is 48 like me, slim, all his hair and french speaking like me. He’s a teacher earning in my income bracket. He should be getting home from school now, so I hope he replies to my message. The only fly in the ointment is that he is legally separated like my last boyfriend. Divorced would be better, but I’ll take my chances.

      • Lizzie says:

        This is sounding very hopeful!! Good Luck Brigitte! x

      • Brigitte says:

        Looks like another women beat me to him. He replied very nicely to my message confirming that he is indeed a good one. He’s the only one I like so far on this dating site. Just deleted 53 potential matches. Only two looked any good. One was a social smoker and the other was earning under $12,000. A little discouraged, but will trudge on.

    • Lizzie says:

      Yes June that is very true – that’s the trouble with dealing with a complete stranger – not knowing anything about them whatsoever. It is risky in more ways than one. This is probably the biggest hurdle we all have to get over when meeting someone new, or pursuing the interent dating world.
      I have looked, but have not signed up. I must admit, some very decent looking people on there and it is becoming the accepted norm here in Australia rather than going out. Either way, they are still complete strangers, it’s just one way you have the written word to decipher, the other way you have the face value to decipher!

  • RS says:

    I’m late to add my comment, but wanted to thank Rosie for her lovely piece.

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You are currently reading Guest Blog: Love is in the Air at The Plankton.

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