March 10, 2012 § 24 Comments

One of my stonking, clunking, cracking headaches for no reason that I can fathom, so am taking it easy and swallowing the odd headache pill.  Not really in a fit state to write except to say that the bride (early seventies now but met him when she was 49) looked happier than you can possibly imagine.  She had never been married but had dispensed with white or even ivory and had opted for primary brightness and looked as radiant as any twenty-something in full meringue.  My uncle the groom (89) – who had been married once before – had a permanent smile on his face throughout.

“Congratulations,” I said to him.  “What took you so long?”

“I never thought of it,” he said honestly, and with a huge grin.  He looked so glad that some open friend had finally suggested the thing we had all been thinking for years, if for nothing else then, as the aged, practical friend had it, so she (my uncle’s new wife as opposed to his long-term girlfriend) can have a say now she has been officially promoted to next of kin and is no longer just a paltry (relatively) young squeeze if and when he ever has to go into hospital.

I can’t imagine ever meeting anyone ever again quite frankly and am quite ready to give up entirely and eat cake and let myself go, and sink into a right old slough, but the occasion did give me pause.   I am not so keen on weddings at this particular point in my life but I rather liked this one because it made me feel, fleetingly at least, that there might be hope for me yet?



§ 24 Responses to Headache

  • Sarah says:

    There’s always hope, P. You just need to get lucky. I’m your age and I managed it. I’m one of many, so no reason to give up. Chin up, it’ll happen, especially if you get back online and give internet dating a chance.

  • Mezzanine says:

    Hey P

    I think weddings have a certain poignancy attached to them and that it brings out deep-seated feelings for planktons that cannot be fully explained to non-planktons, for obvious reasons. It’s a wedding and everyone should be happy but a plankton’s happiness is tinged with other feelings that dared not be spoken about, especially at such a joyous occasion. Hence the headache perhaps…

    But tomorrow is another day and spring is around the corner. The expectation of happier days. I’m going to sign up to some dating sites tomorrow. I promised myself that was what I was going to do and I’m doing it. To me, dating sites are just another way of meeting men. Not the only way but another way. Don’t give up P. I have wanted to give up many a time but something inside me stopped me. Life really is too short. You’ll find someone, of that I am sure, but I can’t tell you when x

  • Erin says:

    Never never never never never never give up. Did I mention never give up? You must put in the time and effort towards finding the one. That is the only way it will happen, dear P. You can do it!

    • The Plankton says:

      Thanks, Erin. I think today’s headache, which persists, may have flailed me a bit, and added to the feeling that I want to give up. I want to crawl under a duvet for a very long time, or at least until it lifts. xx

  • Lydia says:

    We largely get what we choose and plan .If you aim not to marry it’s pretty certain won’t.

    Dick Van Dyke (86) just married his 40 year old make up artist.. Perhaps the over 80s is a good group amongst to which to hunt and then they die and you inherit. Cannot see the advatantage myself however.

    • Elle says:

      No advantage for you Lydia, you have enough money already! 🙂

      • Lydia says:

        I have divorce debt and 100% of the children and their father has the money but I would certainly regard all the children as huge riches.

      • Elle says:

        Children are indeed riches. Their father is missing out if he values money over his children.

  • Catherine says:

    How lovely to have these buoyant friends ebbing you on. I would too, most voluntarily, but the headache, that discolouring headache. I know that headache. I find the websites quite frightening. Must one?

    I am very glad for the new married couple however.

  • Dawn says:

    Surely you’ll have better luck on the dating sites than I do here. Sheer numbers will help, as will your not being over the dreaded age of 50.

    The last one who contacted me lives 9 hours away by car. (There are no trains here and he doesn’t live near an airport.) can’t see that working out, do you? It certainly complicates the casual coffee date?

    I’ve seen what 50 years does to a body. 84 doesn’t bear thinking about. I wonder. When DVD looks into her eyes, does he see dollar signs reflected there?

  • fi says:

    Nice to see a happy ending but it reinforces what has been said here before. There’s at least 15 years between this couple, maybe nearer 20. Presumably when she was 49 he was mid 60’s?

  • Elle says:

    Sorry to hear about the headache. My cure is caffeine, fresh air and failing that solpadeine.

    Weddings can be depressing but take heart from this one and give men in their late 50s and 60s a chance. It could be the start of something beautiful.

  • MissNovember says:

    Hi P – just as I was reaching rock bottom, in true Plankton style, I heard a lovely story today from the ex-wife of a drinking partner of my ex-husband (Yay!! We both escaped THAT nightmare). After years of being on her own, she met a very nice man online and is getting married later this summer. Her smile said it all – there IS life after Planktonhood.
    I was so thrilled for her, that I almost skipped home and jumped on my laptop.
    You see!! There is hope after all. I heard it straight from the horse’s mouth – not third hand, so it must be true.
    Let’s not give up – at least not until we’ve given it a go, online. Chin up chuck – it could be your wedding you attend next.

  • june says:

    Ah well we all like a wedding, even planktons , i always think hope springs eternal, Get this one guys ,my 70 year old cousin has just moved in with her 70 year old boyfriend, her husband gone into long term care, so shes sold her house and moved in with her lover, they own a place in spain together . Does it give me hope, nope, she was always more attractive to men than me.

    Im with you there Dawn, on the websites not being great for over 50s, if i ever get any contacts they always live miles away,had 2 recently, seemed like nice men but too far way, no point in it, they live where they live and i like where i live, id never move, , it took me long enough to get here. But in my area, there are very few men and any that do contact are grose, the two from away were quite attractive, one local one today. very unattractive, says it all,

  • Di elliffe says:

    Oh, P, I do understand, but please, please, never give up on your future.

  • Brigitte says:

    I just contacted a third candidate on my senior dating site. He’s 52 and looks pretty good. I told him he was too modest in that he merely put himself down as average looking. I’m learning to easily delete anyone who doesn’t bother to write a few words. Canned messages in the form of flirts are cheap and can be easily dismissed. I do, however, thank anyone for putting me down as a favourite and will reply to written messages (“Thank you for contacting me. Good luck in your search.”). All in all, it’s not too time consuming. The trick is to quickly delete the uninteresting ones that send flirts.

    @Elle: I had to create a fake male profile to search the females on this site. Under my real account, I was a female looking for another female and I got zero results in my search (it’s not a gay site). Under my fake male account, I searched for women from 20 to 60 with very broad parametres. Most women are average looking or below, very few are above average. I was pleased to see that I am in the top ten at least. I found several under fifty, two under 40, and 1 under 30. Most are between 50 and 60. Glad the young women are not bothering with this site.

  • EmGee says:

    Whoa – let’s review the bride’s CV: They got together when she was 49, and prior to that she’d never been married. How about other long term relationships? Any Plankton-time in those 30-odd years? And yet here she is, a blushing, freshly minted bride, after a verrrry long engagement! Cheers to your dear old new Aunt!!!!

    Moral of the story: Do Not Give Up.
    Shame on you Ms P for even mentioning it! [me:wags finger in your general direction]

  • Lizzie says:

    Stonking, clunking, cracking? The most visually, physically acurate description of a headache I’ve ever heard! Luckily I don’t get one of those very often.
    And for god’s sake don’t give up P!
    What you feel inside will emanate from you. Make sure they’re good feelings!

    • Dawn says:

      “What you feel inside will emanate from you. Make sure they’re good feelings!”

      So true. It’s a hard act at times, though, isn’t it?

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