March 20, 2012 § 44 Comments
From yesterday’s Times (and because I wrote this last week, there will be a New Twinkle update tomorrow):-
Two surprises arose from the work dinner I was invited to recently by a relation of mine. First was the offer by an old married man to meet up for a cup of coffee, and second was a business card pressed into my palm by a charming fellow who suggested I might do some work for him. I emailed as promised and have not heard from him since. Stupid of me to suppose for a moment that I might. Then, a few days ago, a third surprise: completely out of the blue, I received a text from another of the guests at the dinner (I don’t know how he got my number). He was handsome, in his thirties or early forties. At the time, I thought he might have been gay but rumour had it he has – or had? – a girlfriend in Stockholm.
His was a simple, flattering text telling me that he had enjoyed meeting me and that he hoped to do so again soon. I texted back the following day saying likewise. Not a peep since.
Am I cursed? I wrote to Long Shot after our date to say thank you, what a pleasure. Nothing. I emailed the charming man about work who had asked me to email him. Nothing. Following a friendly feeler text, I responded to someone I barely know who I made laugh at dinner but never dreamed of hearing from because he was gay/had a girlfriend/too young/couldn’t possibly be interested in me. In all three cases it was just good manners. Showing an interest in them, sure – for romance or employment – by the very fact I responded at all. But each communication was brief, dignified, restrained, friendly, polite. They could hardly have been described as stalking and yet with each email or text, I seem to have sent the recipient packing.
Sometimes I think if I were a rude bitch I would have men eating out of my hand. I know one such woman. She is an operator. Hard. Out for what she can get, the richer the better. She has men running after her. Such turnover as I can only marvel at. Presumably she wouldn’t have thanked Long Shot for taking her out to dinner, just expected him to contact her and ask her out again. Had she needed work, she would have waited for the man who offered it to track her down, rather than sending an email to him. She would have responded to the handsome young man’s text wanting to see her again with silence. I imagine. Till each one of these sops capitulated and contacted her again, and again.
I yearn to be that rude. And that successful. And not so darn nice. Nice gets you absolutely fucking nowhere.