March 27, 2012 § 41 Comments
From yesterday’s Times. Apologies, I think I wrote this before Date with Surprise Twinkle (3 March), so I have rather fucked up my order of things but have no time today to write something from scratch. Forgive me:-
Last week was full of surprises, but the latest and perhaps most surprising of all is that the man I met at a work dinner a few weeks ago not only emailed me, but after a few days of puzzling silence following my response, did in the end email me again (to give him his due, quite quickly). Perhaps I was just being impatient and pessimistic and am less cursed than I thought. We have now exchanged several emails and he has invited me on a date. I am being cool about it – well, cool enough – because I would get it in the neck from my friends if I wasn’t, but I have to admit I am also delighted and excited. Grant me that!
More achieved in under three weeks since meeting Surprise Twinkle than in over six months after meeting Long Shot. The signs are good but I am very much keeping any undue excitement in check. A plankton, so used to disappointment and despair and more, knows that the business of protecting herself, though dreary, is crucial.
I have made two pledges to myself. I am not going in for games. I am too old, and there is not enough time to piss about with any of that tedious malarkey. Let games be the province of the young. So my correspondence with ST has been short, friendly, to the point. To his question, How about meeting up on Friday?, rather than monkeying about and trying to be the blase bitch that I am not, I replied simply that, yes, that would be lovely. I am going, here, for straight-forward or broke. If he doesn’t like straight-forward, then I am not the woman for him. He is younger than me and inordinately handsome and clever, so perhaps I am playing a high-risk strategy. There again, there is nothing strategic about the decision to be myself for once, in this dire dating game. I was myself when I met my (now ex-)husband and, OK, it didn’t work out long-term but, oh, the relief, after years of trying to be someone I wasn’t in a bid to win men over. Instant honesty and no bullshit. A lot to be said for it, and no coincidence, I believe, that he and I remain friends.
So, openness (within reason, of course; I do know there are limits!) is the way forward with ST, surely. After all, the night I met him, it never occurred to me for a moment that he would be interested in me, so I was entirely myself.
And that was the woman he emailed out of the blue, just like that.
Wish me luck.