Life at the bottom of the sexual food chain.
November 5, 2012 § 20 Comments
No sign of my column in today’s Times. Sorry about this. I am told of space issues.
But I am still here, I promise, planktoning away as usual and wishing I could take a few leaves out of Cindy Gallop’s book.
Our electricity is still out at home, following Hurricane Sandy- When the power is finally restored, I’m going to start emailing Ms. Gallop (not quite so easy to do from the computers here at work)- She’s a fellow Knickerbocker…. Call me shallow, but it’s been a while since I’ve gotten any, most of the muscles throughout most parts of my body are starting to hurt from the past two and a half years of cumulative tension now….
I bought a t-shirt with a jellyfish on it last week….
Sorry about your electricity/lack of electricity.
Sorry too about your lack of sex. Can I give you a word of advice?
There are much happier ways of relieving your problem than sex with an old slapper who needs ironing and who uses blokes as sex objects.
The T-shirt. If you can’t afford a new T-shirt try putting the stained one in a hot wash.
Who said anything about a stain? I really purchased a t-shirt with a picture of a jellyfish on it last week- I’ll stop wearing it when it no longer seems appropriate… those long flowing tentacles drifting through the pelagic zone, with egg sacs and clouds of sperm released by millions of fish during their mating cycles, timed with the lunar cycles floating by….
Do you though? I think you don’t want that. It’s dead easy to get good fun sex with nice men, particularly at your weight as long as you can kind a babysitter. I don’t think you want that at all. If you do you can have it every night from men who look good. There is a massive male sex deficit in just about every country of the world. No shortage of men wanting to stick part A into part B. Cleavage, heels and being fun are all that takes if that is what one is after.
We also now know that inthe last few years the number of single men in the UK living alone aged 40 – 55 has gone up from 800,000 to 1.4m, a massive increase whilst women alone has stayed the same. This is probably because 80% of British divorces are initiated by women (mine certainly was) and often because they have found someone else or choose to be alone. This bears out my own experiences of mostly on line dating – lots of mid life men who in virtually every case their wife initiated the divorce.
Mind you my latest started out with a beard… put me right off, then I probed more… bit fat.. okay, might be okay, then on and on, the more you found out the more unsuitable but seeing someone tomorrow. he would be fine for lots of people but he won’t match my special needs I’m sure but we might have an interesting conversation. I think I can see why his wife threw him out. On the first call I felt he wanted to prove points and always be right and show off and that he wasn’t kind and has zero skills at flirting and making women feel good. Call 2 was slightly better although I think he and his family are more into material things than I am. He is very clever so on call 2 was making up for call 1. Despite his advertising for someone under 8 stone (which I’m not)and complaining about women not looking like their pictures his main picture looks about from 15 years ago. so I suspect I shall not be pleased with the looks. Keeps going on about his wonderful chidlren. Why do men do that all the time? It’s not English. We self deprecate. Mine are pretty successful but I would never go on about how wonderful they are.
Remarkably same writing style and avatar as Lydia. Have you gone all shy on us Lydia?
“He won’t match my special needs ” !?!?
Would you elaborate , please , ER ?
Definitely. Lydia never answers questions either…
You people have yet to answer my question from a few weeks ago… If somehow, the stars and the planets align correctly and somehow I actually do eventually, you know …. SUCCEED…. am I still going to be permitted to write into this blogsite?
It’s a free, er, internets, who’s going to stop you? But I guess we’ll cross that bridge if/when you succeed.
Hope you power comes on soon.
Threadless has an awesome electric jellyfish t shirt, I mention it only because it kinda ties in here. And I have very little to comment on Ms P’s post, except I hope the Times has room next week, or she feels inclined to post something else here in the meanwhile.
Thanks, EmGee. I am sure I will feel inclined. pxx
Yes, as long as you are not dull. px
Good then thank you- If I do finally ever do it again, you’ll be the third person to know….
MG- I can assure you that we have notably little to worry about at the moment, regarding any possible successes this year….
Yeh we know 🙂
With the massive increase in the UK supply of single men between 40 and 55, what on earth is this blog about? Is it that there are LOADS of desperate single middle-aged boring, ugly charmless men out there – so the supply side quandary is one of quality and unrealistic expectations among women?
Don’t know, I’ve not been to the United Kingdom since July of 2010- And I spent my nights alone when I was there too : (
It may not be what the blog’s about, James, but as far as single middle-aged women go I don’t think it’s unrealistic expectations on their part at all. It’s that many would rather be on their own than be with a desperate, boring, charmless man. I would call that acceptance of the state of things and a decision based on what, overall, is best for them.
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